“She Should Have Married Both!”

My daughter was staying over with me in London with a couple of friends the other night. They were talking about a TV show called “Bachelorette”. Obviously a young woman starts dating something like 15 men, and in each show somebody is eliminated and in the end she must choose between the final two. By that time of course, after dating and intimacy over a period of time, they all have strong feelings for each other.

My daughter and her friends were talking about a season finale. The girl was apparently deeply in love with both remaining men, and both men came to her to propose. She ended up dissing a man she had made love to, and confessed to being in love with. My daughter and her friends were all “Oh she should have kept Nick, he was much cuter and nicer, or she should have kept both. Yeah, she should have married both!!”

I’ve been browsing the net, and realize most people out there talking about this show seem to agree. They say, she should have kept both guys. And they say it because they saw that she was very much in love with both men, and they with her. I’ve even found women on a muslim web forum who say it!! And they do so intuitively, because of the romance and the love. Of course, they aren’t serious. But subconsciously, they recognize that it is not disgusting when a woman loves two men, is intimate with more than one man. No – it’s all in the packaging!

I know many friends of mine who have said the same about Love Actually, that Keira Knightley should have married both men. Because it’s so romantic….. It’s all in the packaging! It’s amazing really how islam manages to package polygyny as good, caring, moral and allowed while at the same time make polyandry out to be disgusting. And people buy into that, just like they buy into the newest fashion, or for that matter just like they bought into jews being untermensch during WWII.

I had a look at season 11 of The Bachelorette. It was fascinating. The thing that struck me the most is how the men there sound and act exactly like wives in polygamy. All the insecurities, the jealousy, the fighting over who is the favourite, while all the while having to force themselves to accept the situation with a smile, or else they’re out. So fascinating!! And perfect proof that everything muslim scholars try to deceive people into believing about the differences between men and women and our reactions to polygamy is an utter and blatant lie!!

Gee, I had no idea reality TV can be so enlightening!

 

Muslims Must be Made to Understand What They are Saying When they want Polygamy Legalized!

imagesMany muslims in Europe and the US are fighting to have polygamy legalized.

One of the arguments they use is that gay marriages are lawful. They say that if any kind of union is to be accepted by law, polygamy must be lawful too.

Problem is, gay marriage is in accordance with human rights. Polygyny is not.

Read it again: Polygyny is not. Polygyny is based on the concept that one partner in a marriage has rights another partner does not. This is not the case in gay marriage.

One is a crime against human rights, one is not.

Isn’t it symptomatic when pro-polygynists can’t see the difference?

I read an article where muslims claim that polygamy should be legal. Problem is, they are liars. They don’t want polygamy to be legal, they want polygyny to be legal. They aren’t looking for marriage laws to be equal even though they are using that arguments based on gay-marriages being lawful – they just want to be allowed to pracitise misogynist polygyny.

Amin, a sociology instructor at Sojourner-Douglass College of Baltimore regularly discusses polygamy in his classroom. Not only does he note its religious significance but the benefits it can have in American society, particularly in areas like Baltimore city where the poverty rate is high and many women find themselves on the welfare roll.

“We have in the world more women than men and if a man has the ability to take care of more than one women he should be able to do that,” said Amin. “As far as legalization, I think they should…We should strive to have it legalized because Allah has already legalized it.

You  see – he says polygamy but he is lying. He is only speaking about polygyny. And he is lying in his arguments too – there are more men of fertile age in the world than women. And this honest truthful gentleman says nothing about lonely men – how will he care for them? How about areas of the world where there are three men to every woman? Huh? What about many cities in the US where women have work in schools, hospitals, shops, while the men are out of work because the factories have closed? Shouldn’t polyandry be recommended there?

NO!! Once again we see the lying, misogynist, munafiq face of islam.

Muslims must be made to understand that if they live in a nation where human rights are respected a call for making polygamy lawful must be exactly that – POLYGAMY, not POLYGYNY.

And any muslim entering a polygamous marriage should then have to take this marriage vow:

I marry you, NN, as my second (third, fourth et.c.) spouse with the full and written consent of my prior spouse/spouses. By doing so I proclaim, before Allah, you and all of mankind, that I wholeheartedly and willingly accept your absolute and equal right to enter marriage to more men or women if you prefer. I pledge myself to encourage and support you in polyandry/polygamy and I declare before Allah, you and all mankind that I do this with all my heart, all my soul and all my mind, holding your rights in every way to be the same as mine. My spouses’ equal rights in every aspect of life, I do hereby declare to be a law of Allah, a law of nature and a law of society. I will accept any spouse you, or any of my spouses, may bring into our polygamous family as your legal spouse and my co-spouse. I hereby declare that if I ever retract, verbally or mentally or by any kind of act, any part of this oath, if I have, or ever have, any proviso, restriction or reservation in giving this oath and keeping this oath, I commit my soul to burn in hell eternally. Ameen.

Oh Happy Day

JALDECJOKERWe are going to visit my son in the US! I am so happy!

Graham asked me to come with him on a business trip to Washington, which means we’ll be able to visit my son a couple of days too. I really needed something nice to look forward to, and I miss my son very much.

I had been thinking about going but I didn’t think Graham could get away before christmas, and I can’t take my first husband since my son won’t have anything to do with him. So this is perfect! I just have to find a nice way to tell my first husband. Not only will I be going away with Graham, but it’ll hurt my husband to know he can’t go because of the way things stand between him and our son. 😦

Well, I guess this might be a good opportunity to be honest about our feelings. I want him to know how I’m feeling about his trip to Oman and #2 also. There is no way we are going to make this work in the long run unless we learn to communicate directly and honestly.

You should see the dahlias in my garden. They are unbelievable! 🙂

Must First Wife Provide for Second Wife when Husband Looses his Job? Q&A

Alexander_Caldcleugh_-_Peruvian_MuslimahQuestion: I am often reading your blog and I am impressed by your strength. I have a question and you seem to know a lot about islamic law. I am afraid to write to islamic sites since they don’t seem to give correct answers but only answers to favor the man.

My husband married a second wife four years ago. I didn’t want him to but he went ahead any way. I have been trying to live my own life and cope and he promised to always be just and keep everything separate. He worked for a local company and earned good money and since I have a very good salary too everything has worked out. I have sent some money to our parents and I have been saving up from my salary, my husband was the provider the islamic way.

Three years ago my husband got laid off when his company went bankrupt like so many others where we live in the US. The first year he got some money from insurance, and then he got money from the state. For four months now though that’s been out, since I earn too much for him to get any money from the state. But islamically I don’t have to share my money with my husband but the state doesn’t care.

I have given my husband a credit card with some pocket money, but very little. I don’t want to give him money that might end up with her. Now, my husband is ordering me to have my salary transferred to his account every month. He says it is halal for a woman to give her money to her husband and a wife must obey her husband completely in everything halal. But can this be right? I mean, I know I must obey him in everything that is not a sin. But it also says specifically in islam that a man has no right to his wife’s earnings. I want to be able to save up for my children and I want to be able to live comfortably and help  my parents – I do not not not want my money to pay for his second wife. She does not work and has no earnings. So my question is, what are my obligations? And I also want to know about obedience. Since I am the breadwinner now, I have been providing for my husband now for a couple of years and now he earns absolutely nothing but lives completely off me, doesn’t that mean I am head of the family now since it’s spending on their wives that gives men this role? And does my husband have to divorce his second wife since he can’t provide for her?

Answer: I’m afraid I don’t know enough about islamic law to be able to give you a correct answer to your question from a religious point of view. I’m sorry, but if you want an islamic answer I’m afraid you have to send your questions to an islamic website and as you say, they seem to be more concerned with looking after the interests of men than being just and correct.

But if I were you I would give him nothing. A credit card with some money for a coffee is good, like five dollars a week, that way he knows also that you can check every item he buys and if you ever find he buys two coffees, you take the credit card back! 🙂

I’d say islamically too you don’t have to give him anything, but again I’m not sure.

In my world, this definitely makes you head of the family! If he wants to be provided for, he’d better start serving you if that is what he expected of you earlier. But you might end up with him divorcing you instead of her… Maybe not a bad deal though from what you tell me.. 😉

Good luck! We have been very lucky and many times people with better knowledge of islam than mine have come here to help answer islamic questions. I’m hoping somebody will come to your aid too!

“Screw the Law” – Motto of polygamist Muslims in the US

Islamic center, Washington D.C.

Islamic center, Washington D.C.

A lot of muslim men move to the US to receive green cards by marrying American reverts. Many of these men don’t tell their new wives about the families with wives and children they already have going in other parts of the world.

Many muslims in the US however live with husbands who land them in polygyny by becoming bigamists after they have married their American wives. Many wives stay with their bigamist husbands because they believe they must because polygyny is halal, because they can’t earn a living on their own, because they are afraid of their abusive husbands or because they have children and are afraid of losing them.

Many of these women, like Ana, aid and abet their bigamist husbands and help them evade the law. Ana e.g. tells us that her husband, who became polygamous in order to punish Ana for being too independent, and also to be able to fuck a white trash burger flipper, is in a “family oriented business”, and that if it ever became known that her husband is a bigamist he would lose his job as well as go to jail. So Ana becomes an accomplice and helps her husband get away with breaking the law. She tells us that her husband keeps porn in his cell phone, easily accessible, and that his white trash second wife sends him hard core porn, starring herself. So you might just wonder if the muslim guy who is your family G.P., or if the muslim guy who is headmaster of your children’s school is the guy who is a bigamist with hardcore porn on his cell, who jerks off when his wife cries with the pain from being landed in polygyny as a punishment. This sexual sadist, who is also living in a family who believes in men’s right to rape and impregnate children, is thus aided by his wife to be allowed to screw the law, his employer and his clients and society.

Another woman, whose husband has told her that he wants to become polygamous, writes:

Just today, me and hubs conversed abt infidelity. He said men are just useless in keeping on their toes if they keep women behind their backs. Women are just too sensitive to detect their straying men. So he said polygamy is one of the reason to counter such issues. i asked why? He said maybe sparks just appear with another woman. At this point i can just cry but controlled. i shouldnt appear defeated although my mind goes he may have someone in his mind already. but he didnt mentioned anything about himself. so i exercised some restraint in pinning him down. he continued with saying, women are too sensitive that even if a man does nothing she suspects something. Hah how true. Im not sure though whether it was something to evade himself or maybe it’s just a fact. Urgh my mind can get cuckoo.

currently hubs secured a tenure in our local uni. so he thought of getting a breather and do some research in D.C for 3 months from sept…leaving me and the kids. in fact he just returned from Virginia right before ramadan. And he plans to get a year sabbatical to learn arabic in Morocco or somewhere together with the family. Adding on to that, searching for a job elsewhere maybe in the states to settle the whole family to get a better quality family life. where im staying is fast paced and everyone is in the rat race even in schools. A car in the US which costs 9k can cost us 20k. so i guess he does put us priority now after struggling hard to obtain the tenure. he wants to gain back the time he lost along the way.

Im learning along the way and hope to be strong when he drops the bomb on me. I wanna go ‘inner peace’ like some master shifu and just surprise him with my calmness.

As you can see, they are in the US, and this bigamist in spe is working as a tenured teacher. He obviously thinks that being sexually prone to infidelity is reason enough to become a bigamist. And he is teaching your children!! 😦 These people obviously don’t consider themselves bound by law, decency or the ethics of the society in which they live. I see that I have about 200 readers every day from the US alone. With the info above, I guess it would be possible to find this guy and the day he decides to become a bigamist, make sure the law find out about it!

One thing to remember too, is that there are many muslims out there who are moderates, who respect democracy and the law of the land. People like Ana and her husband, and the couple cited above, are posing a dangerous threat not only to democracy, society and children and adults in it, but also to law-abiding muslims who have to bear the brunt of mistrust against muslims caused by fanatical islamists, bigamists and other criminals who believe their religion places them above the law.

Many islamic websites propagate bigamy in the US, saying it’s not as bad as homosexuality (One thing is for certain – you won’t find any gender discriminating MF:s in a homosexual marriage!! 😉 ) and that the law of Allah is better than the law of man, and that polygyny isn’t abusive anyway. You can find this sort of crap e.g. here, where a man full of lies, falsified science and discriminating misogynist BS keeps telling people in the US to allow misogyny and discrimination according to islam, against the law.

As you can see this muslim gentleman e.g. states that

polygamy is not abusive. You might not like it. It might be emotionally distressing. But it’s not abusive. The only thing that might get hurt is a woman’s feelings.

First of all, this logic means that bullying in schools e.g. is not abusive. The only thing that might get hurt is a child’s feelings… I don’t need to point out how vile and nauseating this argument is! But also, this discriminating misogynist states that polygamy only hurts the feelings of women (or woman actually, the second, third et.c. wife apparently is in no danger of being hurt..) . What about children? There is overwhelming evidence that polygyny hurts and destroys the lives of most children exposed to it! But in this misogynist’s world, obviously, children don’t matter. He obviously also discriminates in not allowing polygamy to mean a wife having several husbands too.

He does mention that polygyny is illegal, but he claims it’s not important. Another muslim man saying that islam in the US is above the law. He clarifies his utter contempt of the US laws by writing:

What is evil and reprehensible is permitted, and what is good and beneficial is forbidden.

This is islam in the US today. Not only breaking the law, but despising it.

What are my rights when my Co-Wife becomes Sick? Q&A

Alexander_Caldcleugh_-_Peruvian_MuslimahQuestion: Assalamu alaikum. My husband became polygamous 3 years ago. He is providing for both families, but I work and contribute to our expenses. He has always shared his earnings equally between his families. Now he tells me my co-wife has cancer and will need treatment and medicines. We live in the US and this will be very expensive. He says he will have to cancel our children’s collegefunds and use them to pay for her treatment, and we will have to cut back on our spending, maybe even move to a smaller house so that he can afford her medicines. I have my own insurance and will never need his money if I get sick. She is only his islamic wife, and has no right to his insurance so he will have to pay cash for everything. Now I am asking, does he have a right to take the money from our children’s collegefunds to pay for her treatment? We have afforded to put money away because of my earnings. Can he give more money to her because she is sick and keep doing it while she needs medicine and treatment? I have tried to study but all I find is that he MUST share his money equally, he can not give her more? I have never found anything else. I would need to be able to tell him that he has no right to take my children’s money and give to her and that he can’t force us to cut back to give money to her. It also is not just, since I have my own insurance and he will never have to spend on me the same way. He also spends more time with her than with me now, because she is ill. Does he have a right to do that? Must he make up for the nights he takes from me? Thank you for answering my question.

Answer: Hello! First of all – I am not muslim. I am not an expert on islamic jurisprudence. I can not pretend to be able to give you an islamically correct answer to your question. I am sorry. I am putting it out here, hoping maybe somebody knowledgable will be kind enough to answer your question from an islamic point of view.

As a woman in polygamy, I’d say he has no right to steal money from your children to pay for his new woman. He must share his money equally. He decided to get another woman, he pay for her. That you have contributed to these funds makes it even more sickening that he would even consider taking the money! Since you live in the US you can simply threaten to take him to court if he takes the money! If you can supply proof of his being a bigamist, there’s no way the court will let him take this money! Also, cutting back is out of the question as I see it. In islam, it is an absolute prerequisite that the husband must afford to provide for all his wives. So let him pay! He must share his money equally. If he can’t afford to keep her, he must divorce her. Simple. The same goes for the time he spends with her. If she is acutely ill, he must stay with her until somebody else can care for her, but he must make up for the nights he takes from you. If she is in hospital she will be taken care of by others, and he can make up for any time he stole from you. When she comes home, he can’t keep taking your nights but must employ somebody to be with her if that is necessary, because he is obliged to share his nights equally. I hope this is of help. And remember: It’s not your job or duty to care for her, help her, feel sorry for her or provide for her. It’s his.

Muslim Polygamy in America

20081123120727-violencia-de-generoHere’s a very interesting study concerning muslim polygamy in America.

Polygamy and Wife Abuse – Muslim Polygamy in America

It illustrates clearly some of the massive abuse caused by islamic polygamy in general, and forced polygamy especially. The descriptions of co-wives as witnesses and perpetrators are very interesting indeed.

And again, proof is provided that when polygamy is combined with the husband being given divine right to beat and punish his wife/wives, we end up with hell on earth.

I remember they had an old-fashioned heater. Behind the heater he would have a stick waiting. And the minute he came home, both of the wives would look at each other and they would go into their rooms

And he would hit my sister and hit her up to the point where she would just like,you could hear like the bird, you would just hear like a tiny noise coming out of her mouth. And when he would leave the house I would come out and lift her head to see if she is okay or not.
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 How can anybody believe this is what god wants?
But this is not because of islam you might claim. There are wife abusers in every religion!
True.
But islam is the only religion today that allows and propagates polygamy as well as beating your wife.