Polygamy, and the Nature of Man and Woman

If I were to order anybody to do sudjud to another I would order husbands to prostrate before their wife, because of her immense rights over them.

If I were to order anybody to do sudjud to another I would order husbands to prostrate before their wife, because of her immense rights over them.

Over and over again, we hear from muslims that the fact that there are different rights and responsibilities for men and women in islam is based on the differences between the sexes. I won’t even go into the warped logics behind such a statement, but I would like to touch upon the idiocy of some of the arguments that come to light.

I will use this post from a mufti as an example:

 

The religion of Islām is a practical religion that also considers nature in directing laws and obligations. Polyandry is impractical for a woman and will place unbearable burden upon her. Thus, the prohibition of polyandry for a woman is based on care and compassion for her.

How will a woman fulfill the marital demands of more than one man, his intimacy needs, his temperament, and various other challenges? When a woman with one husband experiences so many challenges, imagine the burden with more than one husband.

What will a woman in such a relationship do when she is pregnant with one man’s child? How will the child’s lineage stay secure? Consider the emotions, jealousy, etc. she will have to undergo from the other husbands.

It is clear from the above that Allah Ta’ālā’s ruling of prohibiting females to have more than one husband reflects the hikmat and wisdom of Allah and His compassion for women.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

AbdulMannan Nizami

Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, IL, USA

The religion of Islām is a practical religion that also considers nature in directing laws and obligations. Polyandry is impractical for a woman and will place unbearable burden upon her. Thus, the prohibition of polyandry for a woman is based on care and compassion for her.

If it were a woman’s nature to obey her husband, give up on half her inheritance, live polygyny, give up work, hide her face etc. she would do so without any rule forcing her! It is only when something is unnatural that we need a law and force to make it happen.

And in what way is polyandry impractical? As a matter of fact, it is highly practical! A woman gets the incomes of two males to support her children, it could solve the issue of over-population, the children of the family get two males to look up to and be protected by, and the woman gets to enjoy variety and the pleasure of two or more husbands.

How will a woman fulfill the marital demands of more than one man, his intimacy needs, his temperament, and various other challenges? When a woman with one husband experiences so many challenges, imagine the burden with more than one husband.

First of all, a woman is able to have sex as many times as she likes in a day. The same is not true for a man. So women are biologically much better suited to please several partners than men are. Men are simply inept and bound to fall short when it comes to polygamy and sex. Or how could a man fulfill the marital demands of two, or four, women who all need sex on the same day?? Nope. Men are incapable of this. Women are made for it. And this temperament issue – aren’t you contradicting your own creed? I thought this whole gender-discrimination thing was built on the claim that women are temperamental, men are rational? So of course, it is much easier for a temperamental and emotional woman to keep two or more rational and reasonable men happy, than for a rational man to keep two or more emotional and temperamental women happy! Anybody can understand that, you silly sod. As for challenges, muslims tend to defend their misogyny stating that the gender preference is because of the many challenges and the responsibility that men have to face. Now, you suddenly claim that it’s women who face challenges. So, what way do you want to go?? And as I just said, the challenges are evidently much greater for polygamous men than for polygamous women.

What will a woman in such a relationship do when she is pregnant with one man’s child? How will the child’s lineage stay secure? Consider the emotions, jealousy, etc. she will have to undergo from the other husbands.

Actually, it was perfect. I had two men supporting our family while I was pregnant. Two men who could support each other through my pregnancy. Two men who could help each other. One man who could take care of the house and keep working while the other staid at home with me once my baby was born. So – what’s the problem as you see it?? The lineage is no problem, easy peasy. DNA. The test takes 2 minutes. (One of my husbands can’t father a child any more, so for us it didn’t even take 2 minutes to work out). Any child could teach you how to take the test. Problem solved!

As for emotions and jealousy – again…YOU are the people claiming that women are emotional, men are rational. If that were true, of course men wouldn’t be jealous and emotional about sharing their wife. As it is, you guys are full of BS, and men are just as emotional. But the thing is, women are much better at empathy. We can handle emotional spouses much better than men can. So again, women are much better suited at being polygamous than men are!

It is clear from the above that Allah Ta’ālā’s ruling of prohibiting females to have more than one husband reflects the hikmat and wisdom of Allah and His compassion for women.

No. It is clear from the above that the ruling that says females should not be allowed to be polygamous is misogynistic bullshit. And if you read the quran, you’ll find that Allah actually allows polyandry. Only misogynist men have interpreted the sura their way and contradicted Allah. And come up with crap like the BS above to excuse this crime against humanity.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Well, better than muslim scholars anyway.

AbdulMannan Nizami

Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, IL, USA

You do know that polygyny is illegal in the US, bro?

How Do I Get Rid of My Husband’s Second Wife? Q&A

S%C3%A9pulcre_Arc-en-Barrois_111008_12Every day, women come here looking for the answer to the question: “How do I get rid of my husband’s second wife”. My stats show me that this is one of the most common search-phrases people use to find this blog.

How do I get rid of my husband’s second wife?

Well, there’s really only one answer to that question:

By getting rid of your husband.

As a muslim, you can’t force your husband to divorce his other wife or wives. There is no legal way for you to make that happen, nor any religious way. You might try to coerce him into divorcing her, by making his life a living hell if he doesn’t, but since Islam always has a mechanism for protecting the right of men, of course there are ahadith and fatwas saying that it is a great sin to try and make your husband divorce his other wife/wives. So if you really are a muslim, that is not a way out.

There are women out there who try to make their husbands divorce the second wives by being the perfect wives. Women degrade themselves and beautify themselves, keep a perfect house, offer their husbands lots of exciting sex in order to make their husbands see that they don’t need any other woman. Well ladies, this is the most stupid thing you can do!! It simply proves to your husbands that polygyny is great, and that by being polygynous they can keep their wives on their toes, serving them and competing for their favour. Please, please don’t stoop to that!! It will only make your husbands go out and tell other men how great polygyny is, setting other poor women up to become victims too.

You could of course murder your husband’s second wife, but only if you’re ready to go to prison for life, or possibly be executed depending on where you live. 😉

No, honestly, the only way to get rid of his second wife is by getting rid of him. I know it’s not as easy as it sounds. But there it is. If you get rid of him, she won’t ever be a part of your life again unless you want her to. She will become completely irrelevant. When he decides to marry a third wife, she will be the one to take the pain – it will have nothing to do with you. And as you get rid of him, you won’t only get rid of his second wife. You’ll also get rid of a dirty two-timing piece of shit who cares more about his dick than about your life and your marriage and your children. You’ll also get rid of the risk of getting STD:s from his other women, and you’ll get rid of spending half of the rest of your life alone as a single parent, a single woman, a woman alone in a home for the elderly.

Asking for divorce also happens to be an islamically permissible way to free yourself from  him and eternal pain and misery. (You do know of course, that if you don’t divorce him, you’ll have to share him with her for all eternity. even if you get into Paradise as a true muslim…?)

By getting rid of him, and her, you’ll open a door for love, for respect and honesty from a full time husband, a full time father.

So for goodness sake, get rid of your husband’s second wife. And now you know how.

The Prophet Muhammad was 90% Single

wives7A muslim man described himself as “75% single”. This of course is an arrogant joke, based on the fact that a muslim man might claim that he as a right to marry four wives, so if he is only married to one wife he is 75% single.

Is it funny?

When the prophet Muhammad was married to Khadija RA – do you think he would have said he was 90% single (or there abouts, since the prophet was married to a whole bunch of women)? Do you think he would have appreciated being described as 90% single when he was in a monogamous marriage? Do you think he would have considered it respectful and considerate towards his wife Khadija?

How can a muslim man who claims to be religious joke in a way that disrespects Khadija RA, Muhammad and islamic marriage?

The only answer I can come up with is: Because he doesn’t bother about islam, the prophet or the mother of the believers. Nor obviously about respecting and caring for his wife. He only cares about his “godgiven” right as a male to hoard and hurt women.

Submissive Husbands Make Polygamy Work

1013483_354648064665525_279483948_nI often get the question how I manage to keep two husbands happy.

The answer is I don’t. They work hard to keep me happy. 🙂

That’s what’s really brilliant about polygamy, it keeps the spouses on their toes, eager to please me, since they know they are competing for my affection. They also know that it’s harder for them to leave me, than it is for me to leave one of them since they would be all alone but I still have a happy marriage going should I choose to leave one husband for the other.

So, my husbands have learned that they must be submissive. This is what a day llooks like for a submissive husband:

WAKE UP

A submissive husband wakes up before his family, to get ready for the day ahead. He’ll get dressed first so his wife wakes up to an attractive, well-groomed husband who is calm and in control. He’ll then make sure the house is tidy and pack bags and lunches for his children and his wife

A submissive husband will prepare breakfast for his family so as they wake up they can eat a healthy and delicious meal to start the day.

At no time does he seem disorganised, rushed, or lose his temper.

His wife’s clothes for the day are washed, ironed and hung up ready for her. After breakfast, just before she leaves for work, he leaves her with a kiss and a smile, telling her to have a great day.

MORNING

Once his wife leaves for work and the children are at school a submissive husband will use his morning to run errands vital to the smooth running of the family. He’ll drop off and pick up dry cleaning, grocery shop, attend to his own needs like keeping fit for his wife and have everything done by lunch time.

A submissive husband should never grocery shop while his wife is at home with the children. He’ll make sure all errands are completed while she is at work so that when she gets home they spend that time together. Shee doesn’t need to help him with any errands or with any of the cooking and cleaning, unless she wants to. He runs the house smoothly and efficiently, leaving their time together as peaceful and as harmonious as possible.

AFTERNOON

After a quick lunch a submissive husband will spend the afternoon tidying the house and preparing for his family to return. The cleaning is done and dinner is started. If he does any work from home or charity work he will get that done in the afternoon as well.

EARLY EVENING

Once his children return home they are given snacks and do homework. All of the children’s activities and homework are completed by the time the submissive husband’s wife comes home so she can relax after a long day.

When his wife arrives home she walks into a clean house, receives a warm welcome from her husband who is happy to see her and spends some time relaxing while he finishes up dinner. During dinner a submissive husband will attend to all of his family’s needs and after dinner will clean up so his wife can spend quality time with their children.

EVENING

A submissive husband will organise for the children to go to bed each evening. His wife may wish to read them a bedtime story but he will dress them for bed, supervise baths and the brushing of teeth and ultimately tuck them in. The rest of the evening is spent with his wife. That time is spent talking, discussing issues and not fighting. The real skill of being a submissive husband is ensuring all communication with his wife is as happy and as calm as possible.

Disagreements are quickly deflated by him, not necessarily through giving in to his wife’s point of view but by being willing to do what makes her happy. He chooses to prioritise her happiness over his own and does this willingly, with no expectation from her.

BEDTIME

Sex is an experience of love and is shared as often as his wife desires. He is happy to have sex as often as she likes and will always do his best to make it an amazing experience. He should have completed a couple of massage courses, and offer to give her a full body rub whenever she pleases. Sex with a submissive husband is pretty awesome and because their relationship is harmonious, his pleasure is just as important as hers.

Each evening ends in a happy and fulfilled state with a kiss and an “I love you”.

So, you see – having multiple husbands is no problem! Quite the opposite 🙂

(Based on an original, giving actual advice to women in polygyny!!!)

How do I Win a Man’s Heart When I’m In Polygamy?

wives7Question:

Hi Fiona!

 

Love your blog! I married a man who was already married. We are both muslim and I’m trying to become more pious to find peace in polygamy because it really is hard! I thought that my husband would become infatuated with me, and that I would be special. But it’s not happening. He is always sharing his time and everything absolutely equal and he snubs me when I call on her time for something or if I question his love for me. He says I must be content with what I have and that he will never love one of us more. It hurts so much because I don’t want to be one of many, I want to be special. Just like he is special to me. So I wonder, how do I win my man’s heart?

//Farah

Answer:

You can’t.

His heart wasn’t yours to win, nor his to lose. He has already decided that nobody will be special in his life, no love will be special, you will all just be one of many. He decided never to give special love, or all of his love, while demanding it from you. That is what you accepted when you became a second wife. The sad thing is that by doing so, you aided and abetted him in reducing his wife from special to one of many.

 

My Beauty is Only For My Spouse

Both my husbands are very attractive men.

My first husband used to be boy-band material, a really pretty boy who turned into a very beautiful man. My second husband isn’t pretty at all, but very attractive in a more scruffy kind of way. I know that many women find them attractive.

Younger women seem to fancy my first husband. I can see how they look at him, smile, touch their hair. And he is very responsive to that, always has been. I know that he takes immense pleasure in being adored. Most women who show interest in my second husband are more of my own age. Intelligent, strong women who recognize an equal, and are attracted by that.

My two husbands?

My two husbands?

Most of the time, I quite enjoy it when other women show interest in my husbands. The admiring look, the cute smile. I take pride in being married to attractive men. I know, my husbands feel the same way when I get appreciation from other men.

But then I read blogposts from people discussing the hijab. They say things like “My beauty is only for my spouse”, “Modesty is the best character trait”, “A pearl must be hidden so nobody will try to steal it” “I won’t stoop to being a sex-object” “We must hide that which is most precious”. And I’m starting to think, maybe they are right.

I should tell my husbands to wear niqab, see how they feel about it. They shouldn’t be out there tempting other women with their beauty. And muslim men should definitely wear niqab – since they can go off and marry other women as they please there is an ever greater necessity to keep them out of tempting sight! Don’t they feel belittled by the way women check them out?

I’m going to have a talk about his with my two gems, maybe it’s time for them to become hidden?

Post From a Muslim Man in Polygyny.

I have rights, you don't

I have rights, you don’t

You stupid fucking bitch!!!

The way you’re going on and bitching about polygamy don’t you UNDERSTAND it’s a MAN’s RIGHT in shariah to marry women up to four and what YOU’RE doing is UNNATURAL and you’re an ABOMINATION!!!!

You stupid WHORE!!! Now my wife has gone fucking MAD and says she WILL DO TO ME WHAT I DID TO HER and she’s fucking looking for men on the internet and of course there are plenty out there wanting a woman who is married because it suit there BLOODY search for sex like all men here in the UK so she might well find somebody so now I cant visit my other wife and our life is a BLOODY MESS because of YOU!!! Everything you write are DIRTY FILTHY LIES and don’t you stop and think that you DESTROY PEOPLE’S LIVES and if my wife finds another man and he touches her I WILL FUCKING ***** YOU!!! BITCH!!! You put crazy things in women’s head so they cant accept men’s rights and you give them FILTHY images of us and our other wives and my wife has gone MAD because of it and it’s your FAULT now that my other wife is alone and crying and afraid because I can’t come to her because I can’t leave my wife on her own because I have found sites where she has found men who want an affair and she’s bloody saying she’ll go through with it because I did and she won’t be alone when I leave her so I can’t leave her so my life is fucking falling apart and it’s YOUR FUCKING FAULT!!!!

BITCH!!!!

Answer: Oh dear. Did this text really come out the way you wanted it to? Read it and think about it for a while.

Marriage – Polygamy and Defense of Marriage

Major_Alan_G._Roger_at_Same-Sex_Wedding_CeremonyThe institution of marriage is a universal phenomenon. It is a union, meant to afford spouses social recognition as a unit, security and stability. In most religions, marriage is also a spiritual undertaking, a holy contract.

I would define marriage thus:

* A union between consenting adults.

* A partnership where absolute equality is the natural and unshakable basis.

* A lifelong commitment.

* A mutual agreement of sexual, social and financial engagement and responsibility, between equal partners, built on the recognition of absolute equality and equal rights, responsibilities and opportunities of all people.

* A spiritual pledge and unity, a pledge to keep and respect each other that goes beyond flesh and society and truly transforms people from individuals to part of an entity.

* A promise, sacred if you will, to keep and care for each other with all your heart.

From my definition, you can deduce that I am all for gay marriage. There is nothing to say that a same sex couple should be in any aspect less capable of such commitment than a traditional couple.

What about polygamy then? Well, as I see it polygamy is fine. Polygamy between consenting adults who recognize that my spouse has exactly the same right to multiple spouses that I have. In some nations you can actually choose if you want to enter a monogamous or a polygamous marriage by the use of different forms. That sounds like a good idea, as long as the form clearly states that by choosing the polygamous option you also recognize your spouses absolute and equal right to marry multiple partners.

In islam, as well as in the fundamental “christian” sects that practise polygyny, however there is no equality. In these cults, what they call marriage is simply a contract where a man buys (by way of mahr and/or the burden of maintaining the family) the right to receive sexual services and obedience from women. A nikah is simply a legal ritual to allow for prostitution of the worst kind. Prostitution where the woman must consent to sex at any time and serve and obey her husband in anything while recognizing his right to beat her if she disobeys or says no to intimacy, and his right to keep her as a slave in the house with no right to ever leave the house without his permission and no right to keep any children she bears him.

In islamic “marriage” there are no equal rights, no mutual partnership, no equal responsibility, no spiritual pledge to keep each other and care for each other in equal measure. She must promise to care only for him, dedicate her soul only to him, while he can say that he will only dedicate himself to her every monday and three out of four tuesdays.

There simply is no such thing as marriage in Islam.

There is a contract, nikah, that gives men the right to have sex with women and keep them as servants in the home, beat them and have children from them, in return for money until the man, by uttering a few words, discards the women so he can exchange them for someone new and exciting. This is no marriage.

So this clamour now for civilized nations to recognize islamic polygamous “marriages” is absurd, as is comparison with same sex marriages.

Same sex marriages are equal, sacred unions and true marriages.

Islamic Nikah is nothing of the kind.

 

Law Against Polygamy

Finally, Canada has recognized in law that polygamy is a barbaric cultural practice.

Part 1 amends the Immigration and Refugee Protection Act to specify that a permanent resident or foreign national is inadmissible on grounds of practising polygamy in Canada.

Her Majesty has only to sign to turn the Act into Law.

I now wish with all my heart that the rest of the Western world will follow. Any decent nation must recognize that polygyny as practised by certain muslims and mormons is indeed barbaric and polygamous men should not be allowed to enter any democratic nation.

– But you are polygamous! you might say. Yes. But the Zero Tolerance for Barbaric Cultural Practices Act forbids oppressive polygamy, not free and equal polyamory.

The next step would be to make sure that all democratic nations also recognize spiritual marriages (nikah e.g.) as grounds for a bigamy sentence. And consequently make sure that all barbaric men who practise islamic or mormon polygamy, and the women who enable it, are sent to prison for a long time, having committed a crime against humanity since it is difficult to find any other crime that causes such pain and long time suffering to women and children.

Thank you Canada!

 

A Husband’s Role in Islamic Marriage

Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made one of them to excel the other and because they must provide for them from their means; the good women are therefore obedient to Allah, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.

We have all heard these words. We all know how male scholars have interpreted them to mean that men in islam are the guardians of women, leaders of the family, and women must obey their husbands because their husband excel them in strength and reason. But look again. Is that what it says. Islamic scholars are amazing in their ability to interpret the Quran to their liking. But why not simply read what it says? First of all, it says men are to work, and maintain women. And it says they must do this because “one of them excels the other”. But who excels?

“…and beat them”

Well, most of us know that intellectual work is considered a degree above manual labour. In the surah Allah clearly says that menial work, manual labour, is meant for men and men must work to maintain women. The obvious interpretation here then is that men are commanded to do manual labour to maintain women, since women excel in every other aspect than raw muscle. So Allah is demanding that men do the manual labour because women are meant for better things. Men are the worker bees to the women’s queen bee. So: Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made women to excel men, and hence men must serve and maintain them, just like slaves did the work for Pharaoh. And this is why men have to spend out of their pocket – their labour belongs to their mistresses/owners. This also means that we must read the rest of the surah differently. It says good women are therefore devoutly obedient to Allah. Women must be obedient by keeping men as their labourers. And the rest of the surah is written in a way in Arabic that makes it impossible to understand if it addresses men or women so men have naturally read it to say that it means men can punish women. BUT it could just as correctly be read the other way around! So this is what An Nisa 4:34 really says:

Men are the maintainers (labourers belonging to) (of) women because Allah has made some of them (women) to excel others (men) and because they must provide for them from their means (give up their salary to them, i.e. men are as slaves to women); the good women are therefore obedient to Allah, guarding the unseen (things men don’t understand) as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those (husbands and other men) on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.