Suddenly, I’m Not the Oddball!

imagesWe were invited to spend a few days with some old friends of the family. The man, let’s call him John, was a close friend of my brother’s while they were at Oxford even though he’s a few years older. I ran into him at the British Library, and he invited me over for a to-do his wife was preparing, to get people to donate money towards a charity race at their house. He told me to bring my husband along. I took a deep breath and told him I have two. Husbands that is.

He looked at me, sort of baffled. But then he started to laugh and said “I know”. I suppose by now, most people who ever knew my family are aware of the situation…

Anyway, John simply chuckled and said I could bring either one. Or both If I wanted. I asked him if his wife wouldn’t be offended. At that he laughed out loud and stated that she most definitely wouldn’t. And neither would his mistress, nor his wife’s lover who all live at the house…!!

It seems, my domestic arrangements are plain and tedious compared to many others… πŸ˜‰

Well well, both my husbands wanted to go, so next week we’re off to Leicestershire πŸ™‚


20 thoughts on “Suddenly, I’m Not the Oddball!

  1. Well that put a smile on my face. I’m looking forward to hearing about the weekend.

  2. I’ve been reading and I just can’t believe what I’m learning here. How come you can get away with bigamy? Why aren’t you in jail? And how come nobody has made sure that poor child of yours isn’t taken into custody? How can she be allowed to grow up in such a perverted family? I can’t believe it. This is the UK for bloomer’s sake, not Saudi Arabia!

  3. I really don’t know what to say. Let’s just say it was an interesting experience. We spent most of our time with John’s wife and her…partner….who both live at the house. They were wonderfully nice. John is really nice too, and his…companion…who only arrived the last evening. She had been off to visit family. It felt a bit awkward. We Brits are very proud of our correctness, but it’s very difficult to be correct in circumstances that are a bit absurd. I suppose we all acted like something out of a Noel Coward play πŸ˜€

  4. Well, Sheila, do you ask these questions of a polygamous male? If not, why not?

  5. “Why aren’t you in jail?”

    Sheila, you state that you have been reading this blog, and yet you begin with a question that shows no knowledge of the facts. You are clearly intelligent, and yet don’t seem to have comprehended what you have read. Nor do you have any appreciative understanding of the context in which this story is unfolding.

    It is your job Sheila, to make an effort to understand the world, not just react to it.

  6. Fiona,

    I think there’s probably quite a big divide between your family unit and that of the friends you stayed with. It seems they chose their set up because it appealed for whatever reason. Your family unit didn’t. Yours started with Mark’s ignorant belief that he was entitled to take a second wife. You, Graham, and then eventually Mark are just making the situation livable.

    I think people who don’t know your story assume you just wanted to have 2 men. They miss out on some valuable insight if they don’t dig any further.

  7. Insha Allah may we be saved from women’s uneducated thoughts on religion. This is exactly why women are not to lead in religion! It is dangerous to make statements based on too poor knowledge and women are deficient in religion and in reason. To see your poor understanding makes me laugh or cry. Go home and obey your husband and may Allah give you reason enough to understand your role and honor in listening to your husband and finding Paradise through him! And please all Muslimahs, leave this kuffar blog. There is nothing to find here, but Shaitan puts you up against your husband whose rightful slave you are. Remember The Prophet PBUH said you are as a slave to your husband and if anybody should prostrate before another women should prostrate to their husband who you must obey in everything and be grateful to.

    If your husbands saw your writings here they would be right to beat you. Insha Allah then you maybe would understand how wrong you are.

  8. Sots:

    Would you want polygyny for your daughter?

    Would your husband?


    Would you want polygamy for your children?

  9. Love is the greatest gift we have from God. Love is a mystery, that makes us better than we were. Love is what makes us sacrifice, makes us run into a burning house to save our children, makes us give our last piece of bread to save a fellow human’s life. Love is what God felt for us when he created us. He gave us love, and the capacity for love as the greatest gift, the greatest mystery, the one thing that makes us the image of God.

    Marriage is sacred. It is a union to sanctify and celebrate this great gift of love. It is the union that makes our lives meaningful, and ensures the future of mankind. Any violation of this sacrament is a violation against God. Anybody who hurts, abuses, strikes or in any way acts against the love that should be marriage’s base acts against God.

    Hate, selfishness, violence – they were all invented by some kind of satanic power (I don’t believe in Satan, or Hell) to hurt us, to destroy us. When we allow these things to enter our loving relationships, we act against God. This is awful. But NOTHING can be as awful as using, not the work of evil, but the work of God, to violate love and marriage. This means that polygyny is a worse crime against God, than spousal abuse or violence. Because in polygyny, you use love, the gift of God, to torment your loved one. You use God against God.

    This means that polygyny is the greatest affront to God of all.

  10. Hi Sara!

    No I would not. Most definitely not. And I can promise you, based on their experience, nobody is less likely ever to enter a polygamous relationship than one of my children.

    Well, I can’t speak for Tamsin. She’s too young, and her experience has been very different from her elder siblings.

  11. Sara

    No, i wouldn’t want any kind of hurt and hardship to befall her or any of my children. But i dont think anyone makes it through life without hurt and hardship. Its a tough world out there. Id like to wrap them up in cotton wool and have them stay with me forever.

    (Facepalm) sometimes i dont know why I bother. I could write you a long post with proofs and explanations but i dont think your ready to hear it.

  12. Oh snap. I thought reza was a female as not much men come here. Then i remembered he was here before.

    Reza i hope and pray your wives are given good husbands.

  13. Ignore trolls. There are 2 clues that the previous poster is a troll, which I won’t list, in order to follow my own advice. (But I’m glad it was posted-instructive.)

  14. Reza cracks me up. A total caricature of the self-righteous, paranoid, small-dicked insecure little pea-brained Muslim male who is so scared of women he can’t see straight. I doubt he’s for real.

  15. Reza, you see the the word Troll defines you perfectly fine not only in Internet but real life too..

    TROLL ( noun):
    An ugly cave-dwelling creature depicted as a giant or dwarf (in your case dwarf).

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