Who is the Second Wife in Polygamy?

There are women in this world who choose to “marry” a married man.

There are people in this world who claim this is a “right” women have.

Who “marries” a married man?

Islam respects women

Islam teaches that we should want for our brothers and sisters what we want for ourselves. Muslim scholars all agree that the reason why islam does not require permission from the first wife for a man to go ahead and marry a second is that no man would ever be allowed to marry a second wife since no sane woman would be willing to share her husband (Quote from muslim scholar.)

Hence: A second wife is a woman who is breaking one of the most important rules of islam. A second wife is somebody who does not wish for her sister what she wishes for herself – a happy marriage and a husband she can trust.

Islam teaches that muslims should treat each other honourably and honestly. Research proves that most polygamous marriages today are secret, and began with an illicit affair turned into polygamy when the husband was found out.

Hence: A second wife is a woman who desecrates islam by not treating her mellow muslimah honourably and honestly. Most second wives are also whores, since they start out having an affair with the man they eventually “marry”.

When questioned, second wives give as their number one reason for marrying a married man that they fell in love with him. It is also common that they say that the man promised to divorce the first wife after the second “marriage”. The rest of the second wives say that they wanted the man’s money, perhaps they were divorced and wanted a husband or the guy was rich.

Hence: A second wife is a whore and a common prostitute. A second wife in islamic polygyny is a person who spits on the words of the prophet that no woman ever should ask for another woman to be divorced.

A second wife is a greedy whoring munafiq.

 

41 thoughts on “Who is the Second Wife in Polygamy?

  1. Everything you said is true & i’ll add that the man is a whore also.I am so tired of women getting all the blame for illicit sex. The word” whore” always means a woman.Another thing you said about how the relationship starts with the second wife as adultery ……Yep……Example from history……The false prophet Joseph Smith who started Mormonism had only one wife Emma (i believe that was her name)…..Joseph had the hots for the teenage house cleaner & started screwing her behind his wifes back…….she got pregnant…..Emma wanted her to be removed from their home……..Joseph all of a sudden gets a vision from god that all men should be polygamist …..he also stated that all women have to submit to this or be damned to hell! What a liar & con artist will do for his power & his dick. It gets worse……Joseph went to other mens wives & stated that “god” told him that they are to be his “celestuel wives……..some went for it. I mean who are they to argue with the Prophet of god? Joseph smith was a con artist & an adulterer who claimed to be the only prophet of God in this world. Sound familiar?

  2. You are writing filth and showing filthy picture. You are typical of the western destroyed woman who can see only filth and believes other women to be whores because she is one herself. You are a whore with two men! How dou you dare call honest muslimahs in marriage this filthy word? You spread dirt around you like a dungbug. It is disgusting. And this picture is so disgusting and has nothing with honorable Islamic polygamy which is clean and honorable!!! No muslimah should happen to come across such a picture and describe of a good woman who accept marriage and polygamy. It is very noble to share a husband and his protection and monies with a sister in need and you paint it ugly because you are ugly.

  3. Knowledgefinder:
    Having read your post, I can understand why you use the handle you use. Keep looking, it may happen for ya someday.

  4. Why is it “very noble to share a husband and his protection and monies with a sister in need” but with two men you are a “whore”? What if the second man is also in “need”? Why is it that the “sister in need” gets only help in exchange for sex? In my opinion honorable behaviour would be to help your fellow human beings in need without wanting something for it in exchange…

  5. “And this picture is so disgusting”

    Knowledgefinder:
    Do you have 2 wives or more wives? Then what’s in the picture is what you are doing, presumably at separate times. If you think the image is so disgusting, then stop doing it.

  6. The truth hurts knowledge finder.

    What is good about a woman that has no problem breaking another woman’s heart? What is good about a woman that takes a child’s father away for half of their childhood?

    You talk about protection. How can a man protect when he’s only there half of his free time? Put work into the equation he’s hardly ever at home to protect.

    You say islamic polygamy is honourable. You are wrong. It makes whores and liars out of all of you especially the man.

    Honourable is NOT a man finding excuses to have sex with multiple women. And honourable is NOT a woman pretending it’s marriage when it’s really prostitution – accepting money in return for sexual services, ie nikkah.

  7. Wow…. i just looked at the picture……that is bad….really bad….in fact disgusting porn is the word. You did’nt have to post that to get your point across…..to late because it’s up there for all the world to see……take it down!

  8. @Alice…….what you said is perfect! Plus i will add …..”sex is not love & love is not sex”…….if you love someone…..if you REALLY love someone…..you will never hurt them…..you will never lie to them……you will honer & respect them as yourself…….as you want to be respected & loved.

  9. Honorable behavior would be to help your fellow human beings in need without wanting something in exchange,,,,,,,that is what i’m talking about

  10. Yes the picture is disgusting. But no more disgusting than islamic polygamy. That picture is the visual equivalent. It shows polygamy is simply a man getting his lusts fulfilled by two women who are degraded by having to compete for his affection.

    Yes the picture is disturbing. But it needs to be for some people to see clearly how polygamy the islamic way, is an abuse of women.

  11. Sister

    Maybe you want to achieve good here as you say, I do not know. But you must know that no woman wants to know what her husband does with his other wives. You say you want to help sisters in polygyny, so why then do you hurt them by exposing them to indecency and by putting hurtful thoughts and images of what their husband might be doing with his other wives in their head? Women should not have to think of these things or picture these things. I would ask you to please show some consideration and not put pain in the minds of your sisters.

    I wish you a good day.

  12. Abu Bkr,

    “I ask you to please show some consideration and not put pain in the minds of sisters by practising polygamy.

    I wish you a good day”

    It’s not Fiona that puts these thoughts into a wives head, her husband’s polygamy puts the thoughts there.

  13. Thank you. It astounds me every time these men come here to tell me that it’s MY fault women are haunted by thoughts of their husbands having sex with their other “wives”.

  14. A cousin of mine was recently caught in an affair at a family wedding. Many people were angry with her extra male companion but to me that seemed silly. He didn’t make marriage vows. There are temptations in the world for everyone. Its not up to other people to uphold your vows for you. My cousin should have stayed true to her husband but she chose to wander out. I just can’t bring myself to think it makes the person they chose to engage with a wh*re.

    People who have affairs where emotions are key aren’t telling that person “I really love my spouse so stay back!” They’re telling them “Oh its going to be over. Things haven’t been good for awhile We haven’t had sex in ages and they don’t make me feel the way you do”

    If most of these relationships are started with affairs I am less inclined to think it is the evil forces of wh*rey people trying to break up marriages they aren’t involved in and more a shady, selfish and unloyal spouse sabotaging your relationship from within. I imagine though its easier to hate the second who you probably never truly get to know because the spouse is already playing you against each other from day one. There is no way to find someones best qualities when the person you want to love and trust the most has pit you against each other in a battle for their love. I don’t think that the second coming in makes him a husband you can’t trust. That he is open to meeting someone and making these connections at all makes him a husband that can’t be trusted. He’s already there before anyone else wanders by. The second is just proof of who they already were all along.

  15. Yes, I agree as well. That post from Abu Bkr is more amazing than all the despicably worded posts from all the men who have previously posted here put together.

    Abu Bkr, you could have saved space by just saying “We Muslim men have the right to inflict pain and suffering on our wives. We like the cover of darkness, so please keep the lights out.”

    In fact it was the word “please” which cracked me up. It reminded me of the phone message left for a customer who canceled an appointment very late by some Ubr driver in London that went viral all over the United States. It went something like “Don’t do that again. Please. Please don’t do that again. I will cut your throat.”

  16. I agree with you to some extent. I do not condone illicit affairs, and I do believe it tells you something fundamental about a person when he/she chooses to betray marriage vows. But having an affair is one thing, “marrying” another woman without your wife’s consent or knowledge and claiming that this is a noble and charitable act that is YOUR right but not your wife’s, is another.

  17. “You say you want to help sisters in polygyny, so why then do you hurt them by exposing them to indecency and by putting hurtful thoughts and images of what their husband might be doing with his other wives in their head?”

    @Abu Bakr You seem to have some illusions of what first (or second) wives think on the days they are alone. Every woman will imagine all by herself everything her husband does with her, and things he asks of her she might not like doing, with the other woman or women. When he comes home, she’ll not be able not to think where he’s been with his hands, minds, and everything else. Every woman who says otherwise is lying to keep up a facade of acceptance for what is hard to accept for anyone – having one’s exclusive partner sleep with others, while they were partner-less.

    No pornography needed for the imagination at all. I am quite amazed every time I hear a Muslim man talk like you do, Abu Bakr. Do you believe women to be heavenly creatures with no thought of sex or imagination of it, all hours of the day safe the hours there husbands want them to, say, “loosen up”? Women’s sex drive, biologically, is strong. Islam accepts as much (why he has women in polygamy sit around unsatisfied half or two thirds or three fourth of the time, if it accepts as much, is a miracle to me). So where do the illusions come from the wives will not imagine in excruciating detail the sexual acts their husband has performed with the other wife every time he comes home to them?

    Judging from what women in polygamy have said here, every single one of their husbands was flabbergasted when they learned what their wives actually painfully imagined. Well, for delusional men it may come as a surprise. Rational men treating women as humans like them would never be surprised.

  18. By the way, Abu Bakr, you may not be aware of Fiona’s story. Her husband in his late 40s got an (allegedly) 18-year old bride. For obvious reasons – to be brought to the UK, lead a better life than in her native Yemen. It is natural for Fiona to call second wives prostitutes given that backdrop. No 18-year-old desires a man more than twice her age, physically. In the West, no 18-year old would be intimate with a man twice her age on the first night she meets him alone – safe she was paid for her services.

    It is therefore natural for, firstly, a Westerner to liken women who sleep with the husband for mainly financial reasons to a prostitute. In the West, only women who are sustained by sugar daddies or official prostitutes behave this way. For others, there is no such strictly transactional nature of sexuality which Islam advocates in a husband-wife relationship (financial provision for sex any time the husband desires).

    Secondly, the traditional wedding night for non-Muslims raises notions of first-date sex. The bride and groom first often get to meet alone in privacy on their wedding night, so they basically have sex before knowing the other person more intimately on a personal level even. Despite all clichés about the West, for many Westerners to this day it is objectionable if someone landed in bed just after saying hello. Just saying in case you have trouble seeing cultural aspects of the “other side”.

  19. (We are talking about mainstream Western cultures here – obviously fringe groups do not share these inhibitions, much of the gay party scene, anarchists, free spirits..)

  20. Oh, and dare I say, I think Fiona aptly illustrated this story. This is what the “good Muslim husband” has in mind when marrying a second wife. Not at the same time, as in the picture, I am well aware of that, but having two instead of one is what these men are after. For how many men is the second wife a middle-aged widow or divorcee? Statistically negligible. For how many is it a barely legal young girl? No more questions. The pornographic picture illustrates reality what these men look for. I personally would not mind – if it were not for two facts. One, the lack of fairness – the wife does not get the same right to promiscuity. Two, the hypocrisy. Come on, stereotyping people who have liberal views and choose to exercise personal freedoms, even if in consecutive, loving pair-relationships, and then building one’s own harem to choose from? Nice try, religiously observing men. No one born outside the culture buys into the so-called “God pleasing” or good lifestyle such men live. Everyone else thinks exactly what the picture shows.

    Also, for those who might not know – the young girl in the photo is Mia Khalifa. She is a Lebanese American porn star. Quite “notorious” now for Lebanese worldwide. Interestingly, this is also her most downloaded porn movie, very popular and landing her death threats for the “abuse of Hijab”. While I am not a fan of mainstream porn for the gender and ethnic stereotypes it promotes (the submissive female who loves everything the male gaze loves, the overtly “wild” or “animalistic” minority man or woman etc), there is one interesting fact in this particular porn and its popularity: Men (especially non-Muslim men) fantasize a hell of a lot about women in Hijab. This can be seen from the download numbers of this particular porn. Which proves the cultural prejudice wrong that Hijab “naturally” protects women from male attention and aggression. It might protect women from men who were socialized to respect the veiled woman (and disrespect the non-veiled one). For men who were not socialized in this way, they might fetishize and exotize the veiled woman even more, and make her more of a sexual object than the non-veiled one. This is not new to our time and age. Sadly, colonizers, soldiers from Britain and France, were known to particularly go after veiled women in full niqab, and rape them during colonial occupation. Social scientists wondered why and theorized it was a “double rape”: Violating the woman’s veil, exercising power through forcefully exposing what the wearer wanted hidden; and of course violating the woman’s body. It goes well with what we know about rapists’ motivation today. It is more about forcing one’s will upon someone and having power over someone than about the actual sex act.

  21. Thanks Chris! I didn’t know that about the pornstar, definitely QI! And I believe your bang on in your analysis.

  22. Lol no pun intended Fiona? I absolutely love your blog, and respect your courage and honesty in posts such as this one. It amazes me how many pro-polygyny Muslims are afraid of facing their beliefs with the same honesty. Your choice of photo is an honest visual representation of the inherent degradation of such a belief.

  23. Chris,

    I agree with your comments but take it one step further. I apologise now to hijabis reading this, my intention isn’t to put you down, but it’s a viewpoint I wish I’d learnt sooner than I did.

    I have come to believe both niqab and hijab sexualise a woman. And to both muslim and non-muslim men alike. It’s the ultimate tantalising, forbidden sneak peek, not dissimilar to a strip tease.

    If muslim men truly respected women who wear niqab/hijab surely there would be no instances of rape in predominantly muslim countries? In reality sexual abuse of women and children is rife, which further reinforces my opinion that islamic covering turns women into sexual objects. And it turns men sex-obsessed because of the constant reminder of sex that makes the male-female divide wider in those societies.

    If hijab gives anyone respect it is to the men of the women who cover, not to the women themselves.

    It creates an unhealthy objectification of human beings as only having a sexual purpose. And it’s a constant reminder of the differences between men and women that makes equality and empathy harder to achieve. When you view a group as the “other”, you lose the ability to see them as having equal rights and needs that you do. Similar to the east-west or racial divides. In Islam it seems to be gender.

    Supporters say it takes the focus off their bodies and onto their mind/spirit. In my opinion, it says your only value is as a controllable sex object. It says to women you have to hide yourself, so I the man, can control my penis – hence your only value is as my sex object.

    If hijab gives anyone respect it is to the men of the women who cover, not to the women themselves

    .I think most travelled women (covered and not) would agree there is a heightened sexual atmosphere in predominantly muslim countries that you don’t feel amongst non-muslim populations.

    Stand outside a mosque anywhere and see women leave, they pull their clothes together and scurry past the men with their heads down to appear as modest as possible. The subjugation is complete – not only is the person a covered, controlled sex object, but a submissive one at that.

    And in a funny irony most covered women I know are more attractive in hijab because it draws attention to the feminine characteristics – eyes, lashes, lips, rosy cheeks etc.Flattering colours and fabrics further enhance this.

    So yes I do believe covering sexualises women.

    Btw – that usa/ksa connect blog is up and running again. The owner is definitely giving her ex a lesson in retribution.

  24. The american woman Jean. Was conned into polygamy by her Saudi husband. I think you had a link to it here. WordPress blog called usaksa connect or similar. She is having it translated into arabic too, which is a great idea.

  25. lifeisgood, thanks for sharing this! i was so relieved to see that someone put these thoughts on paper so nicely. I think most of us here will share similar thoughts and i hope all those Hijabis living in western free countries should be made to read this before they participate in TV debates and start writing s blog. I am sick of those women and the disservice they are doing to other muslim women who dont have a choice 😒

  26. Let me correct myself what the author wrote about Hijab are not “thoughts” but facts.

  27. I’m pleased you liked the article Laila. I get frustrated at the subtle, but ever-present attitude that hijabis are more pious, moral, or practicing than muslim women who do not cover. It’s one thing for men to adopt that attitude, but when women do also, it’s like the ultimate in women bringing other women down.

    I also get frustrated when western reverts online impose their standards on muslim women living in muslim countries under much different circumstances. It’s like they jump on the hijab/niqab/polygamy bandwagon, trying hard to be “authentic”. They dabble happily in the self-imposed restrictions of their beliefs, because at the end of the day, they know their freedoms and rights are guaranteed because they live in a non-muslim, secular, western country. They can walk away from islam, from hijab, from polygamy any time they want because they live in a country that protects their basic and equal human rights, as well as providing social, financial and legal support.

    But instead of acknowledging that privilege, they have the audacity to advise muslims women living in sharia-controlled, muslim countries how they have to accept polygamy!!! These women aren’t free to leave, they don’t have the same legal and socio-economic frameworks to be protected by. And they get lectured about how to practice islam properly by western reverts that live in a bubble. With a sisterhood like that, who needs enemies?

  28. Lifeisgood, Exactly. When reading this article I was thinking of those dumb women who don’t think before opening their mouth on TV and truth is they get invited there only because they have chosen to convert and wrap a piece of cloth around their head and say a few things in different ways to defend their choice. Another possibility is that these women are too smart and do this to get easy money and publicity.
    Now while reading this comment of your I couldn’t help but think of the crazy lady Robin aka Ana. She recently said on blog that people are still after her and husband trying to cause trouble and that those who do it might just help her by making her a celebrity! I have read her saying something about being willing to sell the blog if she gets a good offer.I think this woman isn’t very different from those who are making money off of living an Islamic lifestyle. If you see this woman has nothing to lose but her husband is the one who can get in trouble because of nature of his job. Now for her its a win-win situation, her blog gets famous if the story makes to news, she gets famous and maybe she will be happy that her husband gets a lesson or will pay for betraying her. Maybe thats why she doesn’t care much about her identity being public and continues to blog even after her identity was revealed.

  29. Talking about Robin/Ana who preaches to other women to accept polygamy and be patient with their scumbag husbands and many commentators are women with financial struggles, many kids, some with no right to initiate divorce and no means to live independently if they want. I am sure if this same woman didnt have the secure pension income coming in, had to take care of kids alone while husband is gone to other, or if the business she built with husband was getting used to maintain second wife, had no “upper hand” in marriage that she keeps bragging about, and wasn’t living in US that again she keeps bragging about but has no respect for the very basic principles of freedom and equal rights that this country stands for, I bet she will be doing and saying totally different things. Instead of preaching from a website (that helps her vent so she can be civil with husband when he visits, fill all the free time she has because she is a home body, likes to mostly stay at her home in her tea shirt and undies, her own claim), she will be begging for advice for a way out from her misery like many other women who come to her website. I would like to see how she takes that advice that she is getting exactly what she deserves no more and no less because Allah is a just God and she needs to be patient and accept her miserable situation as a test from a merciful God!

  30. I remember a certain lady once gloating how only she gets to attend army functions with her husband because the second wife could never attend as he didn’t want the army knowing he was polygamous.

    I don’t know how she attends army functions now knowing everyone in the room knows despises her husband and pities her.

    From memory the only part of Islam he practices is polygamy 🙂

  31. And Laila,

    Where I live many reverts come from quite deprived backgrounds or are quite lonely people, who don’t have alot of social contact. Often for the first time they get a sense of family and acceptance. They get a pat on the back, masallah for joining us etc.

    Some thrive on the attention dressing differently gives them because before that people would have just glanced past them. It’s like finally they are somebody special.

    And I think a reasonable number of females are converting to find husbands. If they haven’t yet met a soul mate islam can be appealing because they know (if introduced through a mosque) that they will be offered match making help and the man has to ‘marry’ them. They get to throw around words like ‘my husband’ and that’s important to them. Even though the marriage is a 5-min service to a stranger that may be over in a month.

    For others I wonder how much of a passing fad it is, like teenagers back chatting, sneaking out to parties or skipping school? Maybe youth who once boycotted for environmental or civil rights issues now convert to Islam as a statement. But oh man, what a price some of these people will end up paying.

  32. lifeisgood, yes i can imagine how much attention new converts get in Muslim community. I am sure white converts get more attention. I think African Americans convert thinking they will be treated equally but i doubt the situation is any different in Mosques. I always hear about Muslim men of foreign origin marrying white women but hardly ever hear them getting married to African Americans. The same is also kind of unspoken rule in Indians Muslims and non-Muslims alike. It baffles me when same people complain about racism!

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