Why Husbands Need Polygamy

imagesOur society is full of problems created by patriarchy.

We see how domestic violence is the greatest threat to a woman’s life. Most women who are murdered, are killed by a close relative – oftentimes the significant other. Societies that condone domestic violence, or even state that men have a right to discipline their wives, are promoting a state where men dominate women by force.

Most women who are raped, are raped by somebody they have a close relation with. Sometimes a friend, more often the significant other. Of course, a society that condones rape, or even states that there is no such thing as marital rape since the husband’s right to his wives’ bodies is absolute, encourages men to take women by force.

We see how men regard themselves as superior. They claim a superior right to careers, to higher wages, to status and acknowledgement. Of course, societies that claim that a wife must obey her husband, that a woman’s place is in the home, submissive and silent, promote men’s subordination of women.

This way, men’s natural tendencies towards aggression, violence, arrogance and sexual violence are promoted by patriarchy. And at the pinnacle of patriarchal societies, we find polygyny. Through islamic polygyny a man is allowed to cause his wife the ultimate pain and humiliation by forcing her to share her life, love, time and body-fluids with other women. In islamic polygyny, as opposed to e.g. polygyny among mormon polygynists, a husband has a right to beat his wife/wives if they do not agree to sex whenever he wants it or if they try to leave the house without his permission. A muslim polygynist is allowed, even recommended, to demand sex whenever, and beat his wife if she doesn’t yield to him. Islamic polygyny promotes all the most vile, primal and evil tendencies in man.

The best, most natural thing, to do to teach men humility, compassion and love is to make them eat the dish they have prepared for women. By forcing a man to share his wife with other men he must learn to overcome his possessiveness, jealousy, aggressiveness and feeling of superiority. This is the reason why men need polygamy. Equal polygamy.

Polygyny is equally harmful to men and to women. Polygamy where men and women have equal rights to become polygamous is equally beneficial to men and women.

24 thoughts on “Why Husbands Need Polygamy

  1. Polygamy is bad for both sides .For women & for men . Dishing out what you hate yourself is not teaching a lesson it is revenge.The day your husband told you he was taking on another wife should have been the day you filed for divorce. It is illegal in the USA so there is no excuse that you saying that you were forced to accept it.In a Muslim country i could understand because women have no choice but not here (thank God)

  2. I live in the UK, not in the US of A. Yes, polygamy is illegal here, but there is too much RC in me to be able to accept divorce. And there were other factors too that made divorce impossible, as I have discussed earlier. I agree that most men should NOT be forced to accept polyandry. BUT, men who claim that polygyny is a divine right given to men SHOULD.

  3. ” I agree that most men should NOT be forced to accept polyandry. BUT, men who claim that polygyny is a divine right given to men SHOULD.”

    As Buddhism says. “”hurt not others in ways you yourself would find hurtful.”

    What is RC, Fiona? Reform Christian? I have no clue ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Roman Catholic ๐Ÿ™‚ My mother was RC and it rubbed off, even if I consider myself an agnostic.

  5. So Christian, but not the Reform branch at all – Old School Christianity ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. i’m sorry norfolkfiona……i should not judge you or anyone else. I also was raised RC (no divorce) I left the Catholic church & joined a non-denomination Christian church & i have been married & divorced 2 times…..Both my x husbands committed adultery on me. It says in the Bible that God hates divorce….it also says in the new testament that the only reason for divorce would be because of adultery.It is only in the Muslim faith where it says that men have a “divine right” to have more then 1 wife. We all know that is a bs lie & i can understand where you are coming from as far as “let the shoe be on the other foot”…..let him feel the knife that was stabbed in my heart & his childrens heart ” Can they handle what they dish out to their wives?Do unto others as you would have them do unto you……that is the law of love & god is love……men have perverted & misrepresented God & his law of love & in the end …..they will have to face that fact & give account to God.

  7. Jeepers Fiona, I thought I was at the wrong blog when I read this heading ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

    Couldn’t agree more. The men and their accomplices to forced polygny are the deaf and blind who will only see and hear when they have to endure what they inflict on others.

    And I include the stockholmers as accomplices.

  8. I met a muslim man, fell in love and reverted to islam in 2003. I suppose it’s a common story. It took 3 years, then he told me he was getting married again. I recognize all the feelings you describe, betrayal, shock, disbelief. I just couldn’t believe he’d do that to me. I mean I knew polygamy is allowed, but I never thought he could do that. Our relationship was so good so normal you know. And suddenly he dropped the p-bomb on me. And I simply couldn’t understand how a man who grew up in the US could say that deciding to marry behind my back and not bothering about my feelings or consent was the MORAL thing to do ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

    Even on the day he got married I just couldn’t believe it. I thought he’d come home and say he’d realized he couldn’t go through with it. But no. When he came home I called him filthy dirty disgusting h*e… ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    Now, I sort of just live with it. It’s a day to day thing. Maybe I’ll get out eventually, but the thing is I still love him. I have asked him all the questions about how he’d feel if I had another man, how he’d feel if a had a child with another man. But he simply says the questions aren’t valid since I’m not allowed to be polygamous. I have asked him so many times to try and imagine what it would feel like, but he keeps saying he can’t since it’s haram and anyway polygyny is allowed since women are able to share and men are able to love many wives while it’s not possible the other way around.

    I have pictured it I admit, turning the tables and forcing him to feel what it’s like. But I never would. But you’re right, I wish men could be made to experience what polygamy really feels like.

  9. The more I read stories like Lena’s, the more I feel angry and upset over how much damage the man-made teachings in the Abrahamic religions have done. Religion is a major tool for brainwashing people. I can understand though the part within religion that people get drawn into, which is seeking a connection with the divine, getting an understanding of a spiritual realm beyond the worldly one, and a sense of peace from it, and developing one’s character and personality in attunement of their inner spirituality, but beyond it, how these non-spiritual man-made teachings got through for so many centuries to so many people without much questioning I have no idea.

    It’s this acceptance of rulings within religion on basis of blind faith that causes people to ignore the scientific and worldly evidence on their contrary, and cause people to commit cruelty and violence with minimum or no guilt at all. Or to stockholm themselves to accepting injustice against themselves on basis of religious teachings.

    Again I understand the metaphysical realm being a confusing area, and for some people a slowly navigating journey through. And the extreme need for the majority of humans to connect to a higher realm beyond the current physical. These are things I can resonate with a lot. But on the other hand I always had difficulty with non-spiritual teachings within religion with that kind of mindset. I guess people usually hope that they personally don’t have to face or go through it, to avoid brushing with unwanted aspects to disrupt their more comfortable lives. Anyway, religious indoctrination can be a powerful one, that people find difficulty also partly breaking away from, especially when in a religion with detailed rulings on every area of life such as Islam.

  10. I’ll only correct one thing – in the FLDS, husbands beat their wives (and rape them) and beat their children (and rape them) without much fear of repercussion because in these enclaves, the presumed help that would come from the police in these cases doesn’t exist. The police are more interested in upholding the laws of the church (protecting the prophet and priesthood men) than they are in upholding the law of the land.

    Everything you see and experience that’s attributed to the misogyny inherent in Islam exists in the FLDS. They’re called the American Taliban for a reason. Sister Wives on TLC is a joke. That isn’t how Mormon polygyny really is. Not even close.

    I’ve talked to Willie Steed, the 18 year old boy shown in this documentary. He’s outside, living a normal life, and working as a model.

  11. It looks like their prophet is having mental illnesses to give all those strange instructions to the community. I hope the ex-communicated people get the protection, finance and shelter that they need.

  12. Hello Chris

    Well, because it is not part of my faith. I don’t agree with everything in Islam as it is interpreted but I try to submit to everything that I can find proof of in the Quran or in the sahih hadith. The veil was a big step for me but now I try to follow hijab in clothing and manners but I’m not a niqabi since I can’t find proof of the niqab being recommended. I have accepted polygamy because there must be good in it but I have struggled to find good in it in my own life because nothing good has become apparent ๐Ÿ˜ฆ But to me it is only for men.

    And also on a personal note I wouldn’t have been able to live like my husband constantly torn between two hurting people and also hurting families. And the intimacy part is too revolting to think of, I hope I don’t offend the owner of this blog.

    Even now I can’t see my husband as a clean person. I know he has sex with his other wife and in my eyes this makes him filthy, disgusting and unclean and I have to use all my strength to let him touch me.

  13. I need to take a break from these topics for a while. It has been stressing me out, and my family members got a piece of what I have in my mind, and that by itself (very unexpectedly, to say the truth) turned my house to a state of unrest and problems, and now me the favorite child in the family is being blamed for a number of commotions. On top of that I am having health problems that has been somewhat increasing for me, and my parents are telling me this could be a punishment for me venturing to “go against God” in the first place. They are also slowly realizing a number of accepted cultural and societal structures may not have been God’s will in the first place, but constructed by people centuries or millenia back, some of which has worked out for us, and some of which didn’t.

    I have realized my family members have been having regular problems with each other for a while which has accelerated in the past few years that I have gone abroad for my higher studies, and in several ways their only relief is of performing religious rituals and hope that they would be rewarded for all this in the next life. Me mentioning stuff has been breaking down that mental comfort, which I realize would only create more problems between them, since they wouldn’t have that higher stable rope to hold on without much thinking anymore. Gah, what’s wrong with me, I have been utterly stupid in several ways for opening my mouth and spilling out what’s in my mind.

    Actually things would have been much better if my household didn’t have the existing problems already, such as between the family members.

  14. You are such a wonderful person, Mariam. I admire your strength, honesty and readiness to develop as a human being, even when it comes at a prize. Do take care of yourself. Please, think about your health and respect your own limits. Be careful โค

  15. Mariam,

    I feel for you. Family is often like a security blanket for us and it’s unsettling having a divide come up between you. I do think you should try to rest, particularly while you are unwell, and if that means not discussing your ideas with family for a while that’s ok. Give yourself some time. Maybe little bits over time they will get used to instead of downloading all at once. Go with what gives you peace to heal.

    For me, one of the parts of Islam that disturb me most is its use of fear and punishment to keep people subjugated.

    It’s the ultimate crowd control. Keep people in line by scaring them with consequences of being disowned, or death, or going to hell or convince them a devil is encouraging their thinking. It’s like placing an electric fence around the heart and mind.

    And the worst aspect of it……it is a pretty successful strategy ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  16. Hi Lena,

    I’m sorry for what you are going through. I know from experience how it changes your feelings towards your husband.

    I heard you when you said you don’t believe in all parts of islam as interpreted. I can understand you trying to reconcile the good parts of islam with the bad.

    For me the sign of a good human being is how they treat others, ALL others.

    I don’t believe any god would authorise women to feel pain just so their husbands can have more pleasure.

    For me personally, interpretation is a non-issue. Abhorrent behaviour committed by muslim men has its roots and justifications in islam.

    I’ve wondered recently if the visible atroscities committed by isis has slowed the number of converts or at is at least making them think twice about islam before converting. It makes visible something potential converts often don’t see in recruitment brochures.

  17. //I feel for you. Family is often like a security blanket for us and itโ€™s unsettling having a divide come up between you.//

    Thanks lifeisgood. And yeah, it’s 100% true, family is a strong security blanket for us, particularly if we have a decent birth family. And if they are moderates in their thoughts and approach, even more so, since we trust them more to take care of us and protect us no matter what, and not be idiots like radicals, whether radicals for their religion, culture, whatever it may be that is way higher than their closest family members.

    But then I have noticed religion is a big deal also for moderates. I was more taken aback seeing their reactions. I could understand them to an extent too (I myself still have strongly ingrained religious values). Anyway, I love my family to bits and would hate it if something like religion had to create unwanted divides between us.

    //For me, one of the parts of Islam that disturb me most is its use of fear and punishment to keep people subjugated.//

    Yupp. I have not seen any other major organized religion having this much of fear-based control.

    //And the worst aspect of itโ€ฆโ€ฆit is a pretty successful strategy :(//

    Yeah. I myself feel unsure at times. At the end it all seems like theory. When I can have more practical experience which manages to reconcile the head with the heart, I can understand all this better.Till then, I am just bumping along in a fog myself.

  18. Fiona thanks for your appreciation ๐Ÿ™‚ You are a wonderful and amazing woman yourself, which all of us here are aware of. As for me, I have been having immune system related problems which seem to have somewhat increased in the past year onwards or so. Mainly in the form of eczema and skin thinning for my hands. And now from time to time I have illnesses arising and oversleeping which affect my other daily activities. I needed to be on a quite strict diet to aid my health, which I could partly hold on to. At this point in life I need my family more than anything else since I would be very much left to struggle if left by myself without their aid and support, both family care and monetary-wise. They need me too in other ways, but for me it’s more crucial.

    So yeah, I will try not to bring up such topics anymore. But then I keep spilling stuff which remind them that I have changed mentally in several ways. I still have strong ingrained values within me, but a number of my perceptions have changed too. Anyway, my parents are more worried that they my ways of thinking belong to a minority and hence may face problems due to it, my brain would take overload, and that they can’t marry me to a person of their choice and expect me to be very dainty about it without me having my own level of scrutiny about him.

  19. “I don’t believe any god would authorise women to feel pain just so their husbands can have more pleasure”. That’s the rub!

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