Polygamy – My Husband’s Wedding Night

S%C3%A9pulcre_Arc-en-Barrois_111008_12The most difficult night was not my husband’s wedding night.
The most difficult night was the night before.
When he was with me, but he was marrying another woman the next day.
When he made love to me saying I should never forget how much he loves me, but he was going to make love to another woman the next day, opening his heart for her to enter.
When he was sleeping beside me and I was watching his face thinking that tomorrow night another woman will be lying beside him with his semen inside her and new love for him awakening in her heart when she watches his face while he sleeps.

That was the really bad night.

On his wedding night, at least I could scream my pain.

(By: Jemima on Polygamy911)

Q&A Can’t You See That Polyandry Can Make Victims Out of Men?

Red_Spider_Icon_Larger_by_RedSpider2008Hello Fiona

I have read just about every post on this blog – it’s addictive!

I am an American male, I grew up in the bible-belt and had really hard-core old fashioned parents. I was told the word of God can never be questioned and I was taught to obey the hard way. The church we belonged to was really more of a cult, but it took me some time to realize. Breaking up from that world meant I had to leave everything, my family, friends everything. I decided to leave for good and came to the UK. I got a job doing constructions at Lampeter, settled down, built a new life for myself. After a couple of years I met a woman. She was wonderwoman to me, everything I had ever wished for. She was strong, beautiful, smart, funny, she soon became everything for me.

She belonged to a religious order, a kind of Druid order. Most of it is about meditation, I’ve come to love this beautiful religion of peace and harmony. It’s so right in every way, it’s about self respect and respecting others and this wonderful world of ours. So I joined too, in 2011, the same year we married.

Since then, she’s become a priestess. Among other things, this means she has a responsibility to be polyandrous. Through her, her husbands can reunite with the earth godess. I understand this, and I can see the beauty of it. But she’s my wife, and the thought of sharing her is killing me.

She is being very considerate. She says she’ll wait til I say I’m ready. And she isn’t pushing it. But I know she’s waiting because of me, and I’m keeping her from fulfilling her duty and I’m keeping some man, or men, from uniting with her.

I just don’t know how to make myself tell her to go ahead, marry another man. I don’t know how to do it.

You write a lot about islamic polygyny turning women into victims. Well polyandry can make victims out of men. Did you ever thin about that?

And what am I to do? Can you please give me some advice?

Two Wrongs Don’t Make One Right in Polygamy

S%C3%A9pulcre_Arc-en-Barrois_111008_12According to the main body of muslim scholars, muslim men have a right to marry up to four wives.

Most of these scholars also agree that men don’t need the consent of a prior wife to marry another, nor are they required to inform their wife that they have married another, even if it might be considered good manners to do so. Isn’t this wonderful? That his could be regarded as ethical is completely beyond me, but this is the religion of rights my friend where we all should want for our sisters and brothers what we want for ourselves – wives excluded of course.

Some people try to argue that marrying another wife without informing the woman you’re already married to isn’t really honest, or just. But muslim scholars simply say that it must be regarded as just and honest since it is allowed in islam – because anything allowed by islam is inherently just and honest. Voila! Some people even dare argue that marrying another woman behind your wife’s back might actually be a violation of wanting for your sister what you want for yourself. But if this is what you claim you’re wrong. You see, wanting for your sister what you want for yourself only applies to women having to accept that other women want to be fucked and maintained by their husbands. It does not apply to men and any idea that men should want the same kind of honesty, fidelity and respect for their wives as they want for themselves. Noooope. Because you see, this is islam. Rights are for men, sacrifice is for women.

But then again, women have a right to keep their own money, don’t they? Men have to support their families with what they earn, women can keep every penny they own. After all, this is given as the reason why sons inherit twice as much as daughters. And women are told they must obey their husbands in everything and fuck him whenever he gives the order because men are the maintainers and protectors of women because they excel over women and because they spend on them. So women should be allowed to keep what little money they have, don’t you think?

Well, think again. Suddenly, muslim scholars say that well yeah, men are supposed to maintain their families. But women are supposed to want for their brothers what they want for themselves. So she should not be niggardly, but share her wealth. And if her husband uses her money to marry another woman and maintain her using the money of his first wife – well she should remember to want for her sister what she wants for herself.

If a woman stands on her rights in islam, she is niggardly, mean and unwilling to love for her husband and his other wives what she loves for herself.

If a man stands on his rights to marry other women without informing his first wife or asking for her consent – he’s a real man who takes care of the ummah. Even “moderate” muslims agree polygamy is a man’s right, so he is not accused of being greedy if he marries woman after woman to have as much sex as he wants, he is not accused of being greedy if he uses his first wife’s money to keep his second wife, he is not accused of being insensitive and mean if he causes his first wife lifelong misery and pain by giving half his life away to somebody else. But a woman who stands on her right to keep her own money – oh, she is mean, niggardly, cruel, insensitive and simply a bad muslim.

A man is right and has rights, a woman is wrong and has no rights. In islamic polygyny, there are only wrongs, and for women – not a single right.