Mark was very upset with me yesterday. He came and asked me for a fishing rod of his, one my children and I gave him for his birthday many years ago. I told him I had lent it to Graham and he had taken it to the Chilterns. Mark exploded. He was furious, screaming things like I have given Graham everything else, couldn’t I at least let him keep gifts from his children. I apologized. I can understand his anger. But still, he has to accept that we are living polygamy. I can’t keep my two lives completely separate. He must learn to keep his jealousy in check.
A kind of Ghairah is unique to men whose wives are married to more than one husband. This kind of Ghairah takes the form of jealousy in a man, of a degree of resentment towards other men who are also married to his wife. A man is naturally disposed to this kind of Ghairah, and as long as he does not go too far with that Ghairah, his wife should be patient with him and advise him with gentle words. Muslim men must remember that An Nisa 4:24 clearly gives a woman the right to marry as many men as she chooses, as long as she gives herself to them to be what their right hands possess. Men must accept this and understand that women have been granted this privilege because they are physically and mentally able to keep many husbands, and govern them justly.