How to survive has been the theme of many posts, but I don’t think I’ve ever tried to answer the question: What hurts the most? So here goes:
* The very worst part of polygamy is watching your children suffer, without being able to help. My children were adults when their father chose polygamy, but still they were totally devastated by his betrayal, his arrogance, selfishness and perverted morals. They are still hurting. My son says that the worst pain was realizing that he hated his father. The dad he once loved had become a stranger he hated.
* The “love for your sister what you love for yourself” sanctimonious, warped, religious toxic goo – BS. Listening to the hypocrisies of polygyny from a religious point of view from a husband who expects you to accept that there would be a god who claims that men have a right to maledom polygyny, a right that isn’t even restricted by a duty to get permission from or even inform his wife, is enough to make you vomit your soul out over and over and over.
* The lies, the everlasting betrayal
* To realize that your husband sees you as something less, something different, something that lacks the rights he has.
* The images of their lovemaking, the bacteria and acari from their lovemaking, that he brings into your bed and into your soul.
* Having it dawn on you that the man you loved was never the man you loved – the marriage you had was never the marriage you had.