Why Women Should Never Accept Polygyny

495px-The_DrunkThere are several reasons why women should never ever accept polygyny. Most of them are pretty obvious, but I’ll state them here anyway since there are criminal, immoral people out there who still claim that women should submit to polygyny.

1. Polygyny brutalizes men and makes them indifferent, arrogant and numb regarding the emotions of women in general and their wives first and foremost. Polygyny gives men the false impression that they have rights their wives don’t have, that their rights are one degree over the rights of women, to their mental and emotional detriment.

2. Polygyny deprives women of a partner in life, and instead offers them a houseguest with sexual privileges 25% of the time.

3. Polygyny makes a mockery of the prophet since it is clearly stated in the quran that it was only allowed under very special circumstances during a certain period of time. While muslim men have used both the quran and their intelligence to oppose slavery, they have used their intelligence and their libido to keep polygyny, although both are treated with equal restrictions in the quran. The prophet also forbade his son-in-law to force Fatima into polygyny.

4. Polygyny is the source of massive spread of STD:s around the world. Everything from papilloma to HIV to gonorrhea and yeast infections come as gifts from one co-wife to the others.

5. Polygyny forces families to live in financial misery with men being unable to provide for their families, thus forcing women to be the breadwinners so the husband can spend his time fucking other women instead of protecting, and providing for, his family.

6. Polygyny turns people into liars. Women lie to survive, tell themselves that polygyny is a test, that it is sunnah, that it makes them grow in their deen, that they are the favourite, that it gives them the same experience of love, partnership and protection that monogamy offers just not all the time (which is a heinous lie!!!!!), men lie to keep their wives from falling to pieces, they lie about their other lives with their other families, they lie about religion. Polygyny turns all people involved into liars.

7. Polygyny is false, a criminal false interpretation of religion that turns men into animals, women into ghosts and children into semi-orphans.

Please, feel free to add more reasons should you wish!

70 thoughts on “Why Women Should Never Accept Polygyny

  1. Olivia, you also follow the craziness that goes on on polygamy411. I heard that in Scotland Muslim men have to sign an agreement that they will not practice polygyny and live according to the law of the land. I remember reading something like that in an article. I am sure Musa’s #2 and 3 wives are on Govt benefits as single mothers! The west really needs to take some strict measures to stop these leeches. It boils my blood that hard earned money of taxpayers is going into supporting such scumbags and encourage gender discrimination. If government doesn’t do much then citizens should start some grassroots level activism against these people. I am sure some modern Muslim organizations might help too because these people give their whole community a bad name.

  2. Leia, divorce his ass. As soon as possible. Don’t prolong your misery and that of your child. Don’t make the same mistake I did thinking you could “outlast” your co-wife. I did outlast her but the marriage had been irretrievably damaged by the time that happened and we ended up divorced anyway. What a waste of time.

  3. Laila, I’ve been reading along the Musa saga too. Omg…..guys like that need to be castrated.

  4. Another gem at polygamy 411 is something that Lynn said recently. She is the one whose husband married their maid. She was recently on her period and wrote something like this “I will be all clean and ready for him when he comes back to me!” I pity these women for losing all their dignity.

    It surprises me that they can’t see how messed up it is to be so needy and competing for their own husband’s attention. On the other hand they claim polygyny makes them strong and independent! I think its just a stage of permanent depression or state of indifference they reach after getting tired of competing with cowives.

  5. Leia, i am sorry for the unfortunate situation you are in. Looks like you are married to a Muslim and heading towards never ending torture of polygyny. Unless you are someone who doesn’t mind living a life of submission and endless pain, you need to act fast. Good thing is you still have a chance to do something because he hasn’t yet married and brought the other to US. Are you legally married to this man? if so he cannot bring the other wife to US. Do you think he has used you for immigration purpose? You clearly caught his lies, Do you want a future with such a liar? If i were you i will report him to police before he goes to bring the other woman to US. You can choose to either have a part time husband and the everlasting pain of your husband sleeping with other woman or you can choose to stand up for your rights now. Don’t listen to what the liar says, if there is any chance that he still loves you then his actions should speak about that. If you are financially dependent on him then I am sure the courts can help and you will get child support and alimony upon separation. Its much better to live a life of dignity than being in relationship with someone who considers you unworthy of his exclusive affection.

  6. Leia, I see he was already married to other wife before he married you. You said you were kept in dark about his previous marriage. I think you need to see an attorney as soon as possible and get legal advice. I am sure there are many organizations who might be willing to help you. All you need is a strong will to stand up against the injustice done to you.

  7. Leia said “And when I confronted him he confessed he loves her too. Now he’s bringing her to the US an I’m desperately miserable. What shoul I do?”

    Are you in the United States? Polygamy is illegal. He can actually go to jail for bigamy, too. You could walk away from him and haul his butt into court and sue for child support, if you really wanted to. You’d probably even get custody of the child in a U.S. court of law.

    But really, you should consider whether or not you want a civil solution or an Islamic solution. Not being Muslim myself, I can’t recommend anything regarding that. But if I were caught in that situation, I would report him to the authorities (showing the marriage certificate, etc.) for bigamy and fraud.

  8. In a way I love it too – I have always wondered why women have accepted side entrances, poor space, fewer hours for using common space et.c. BUT – at the same time I don’t really believe that a way for coloured people in ALabama to receive equal rights would have been to build more “coloureds only” schools.

  9. I would too. And Leia, I’m sad to say but my experience is that once you’re in polygyny, the way out is extremely hard. Once she’s there and your husband is forcing you to try and accept it, your brain will do anything to oblige because it will enter survival mode. Your best chance to leave is now.

  10. Leia,
    This isn’t really about your personal misery. It’s about what blinded you and prevented you from seeing what this man actually is, of which denying his love and loyalty to his wife is the worst, and is what he’ll do to you too when it suits him.

    And it’s also about the fact that you are focusing on your own feelings, instead of the welfare of your unborn child, who will develop a relationship with this man before you leave him, or he leaves you, and for which rupture you will be responsible since you made your fantasy life the priority instead of the real needs of your child.

    This man is not your husband, and he’s not the material that fathers are made of. So leave this man now before more damage is done, and grow up.

  11. @ Yakub

    You’ve made your bed, now it’s ALMOST bedtime!

    I hope you know that already..

  12. Leia,

    Dear before you fall into the category of those who when it comes to endurance , tolerance..
    or in other words may I say managing to accept polygyny, completely “lose track” about themselves & their relationship status; now just cannot figure out how much is too much,
    LEAVE!!!

  13. My husband divorced me. I would say, it’s a good news but at same time it’s a bad news cos im pregnant of 9 month – old now. And will give birth soon. I’m counting days. He kept asking me to be an obedient wive, while he himself never even bother to fulfill his responsibility as a husband. Can u imagine he divorced me cos I didn’t send picture to him? His first wive was away n he was alone. And he asked for pictures of myself to fulfill his lust. I can’t imagine he got aroused because of me, but did sex with his first wive. And I have to realised that he doesn’t love his son n the baby in my stomach now. If i knew things would be like this, I wouldn’t agree to marry him at first place!! FYI, his first wive asked me to be her Co wive.
    Now i am looking into christianity. Need to learn…

  14. Andrea, sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you have family or friends near you. I think even the second one is good news because you have something to look forward to, someone to love and experience the most pure and selfless form of love.

  15. Laila,

    I just can’t believe how stupid I am. But at same time, I kinda thanks to Islam cos now I am able to see that it’s not a religion.
    I am with my family now. They all love me and I thank God for that. I really want to give a lesson to that guy, but then again…. God is fair. I will never let him come to see my son and the unborn even if he is willing to support them financially. Not even 1 cent, lol.
    He is jobless anyway….

  16. Dear Andrea, I am so glad you have one less terrible person in your life. You don’t need him, and neither does your child. Take good care of yourself from now on, and I hope you do not repeat the mistakes of the past.

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