Heading Towards a New Year in Polygamy

ThreeringsWe had a very nice Christmas. Graham is an excellent cook, my daughter in law to be proved to be an expert pastry chef. It was wonderful to have all my children staying, and I am still the unvanquished Scrabble champion.

Mark spent Christmas with an old friend. Graham didn’t want him to come to the Chilterns, and I needed to respect his wish since he has so little privacy in the annexe. Our house in the Chilterns is Graham’s home and mine, not Mark’s. And of course, my son didn’t want his father there either. He has told his fiancée that he’s actually still alive anyway, which is a giant leap forward.

We agreed Mark would get an extended vacation with me in June instead. I’m looking forward to it, both to go away with him and to get off the rotating schedule for a while. It can be rather tiresome to keep altering homes every three days…

I’ll be going back to London tomorrow. To Mark ❤

Letter From a Liar

Bonfire_NightThis letter was sent in August from a liar who claims not to be in polygamy.

But first a fatwa about liars that some people should read:

Lying is the source of all evils. It is the negation of faith. It can never exist in a person who has true faith in Allaah Almighty. It is universally condemned by all humans with a minimally sound nature. “Verily, truthfulness leads to righteousness (birr), and righteousness leads to the Garden. A man speaks truths until he is written with Allaah as a truthful person (siddeeq). Lying leads to wickedness (fujoor), and wickedness leads to the Fire. A man lies until he is written with Allaah as a liar.” [Al-Bukhaari, Muslim]

Liars will end up in the Fire.

As Salaamu Alaikum, XX,

Insha Allah, you will receive this mail. I’m trying to reach out to some of the regulars from the blog. I just want to let you know why the blog shut down.

A few week before shutting down, I had received an email from Lah, saying she knew my real identity and that of my husband and was going to the police about polygamy. She’s an ignorant fool. I know the laws and the system. Prior to it, she had been harassing me by way of email, as I wouldn’t allow her on the blog. When she came to the blog, writing civilly, I allowed her to stay. Note: She was writing from XX but lied saying she was writing from Pakistan.

I then began to receive posts from some guy name “Bob” who said he knew my husband’s and my identity and threatened to contact my husband’s employer to get him fired.

At that point I decided to temporarily shut the blog down for a while, which I put a notice on the blog to that effect. The next day I visited Fiona’s blog. Low and behold my real name is on it, my husband’s name is on it, an article from the newspaper about my husband is on it, so is my Facebook page and Google plus page – oh, and the obituary of my husband’s mother.

I immediately contacted my wali/bestess who took everything associated with polygamy  off the internet. I shut the blog down completely.

I suspect my husband’s ignorant, uneducated wife revealed my name out of spite not knowing they’d investigate and find out about him, as well. Anyhow, he won’t believe she did, but what else is new when it comes to that straight up kaffur liar.

Nonetheless, I read some of Fiona’s blog, only to find that Kim also known as “unchained” on Fiona’s blog and Jenny also known as “happy” on Fiona’s blog had their hands in the investigation of me.

I contacted Jenny by email and tell her that I’m aware of what’s been going on and I will take the article that is in the newspaper online (that a commentator from our blog sent me months ago) will put it online with her comments and expose her the same as she has done me. Well, Jenny insist it was “C” who did it and told me to do this, that and the other. She said she’d email Fiona, and will ask her to remove the information. She sent Fiona a weak email asking her to remove the information, as my family and I were being threatened. Fiona asked Jenny why I hadn’t contact her (Fiona) herself. Jenny emailed me saying she didn’t know how to answer. I only said “Thanks” to Jenny and it ended there. Note: I have no intention of doing what I said I’d do to Jenny.

Well, there you have it. I will not re-open the blog, at least not until my husband retires, which won’t be for another three years.

XX, I felt you deserved to know what happened. You’ve been a wonderful sister and I can’t begin to thank you for all your input on the blog. I am blessed to know you. I pray the best for you and your family. Insha Allah, we’ll stay in touch.

Much salaams!

Why Do Women Agree to Being Described as Inferior?

800px-Be_stupid_@_AmsterdamOne of the islamic websites I sometimes visit published this quote yesterday. The source is given as  Sahîh al-Bukhârî 1/267-268.

al-Bukhari said:

101 – Adam told us: Shu’bah told us: Ibn-ul-Asbahânî told us: I heard Abu Salih Dhakwan retelling from Abu Said al-Khudri, who said:

The women said to the Prophet (Peace be upon him):” The men have taken you from us. Give us a day from you. “He decided to spend one day with them and met them, admonished them, and commanded them. He said among other things to them: “There is not a woman among you whose three children die, but they will protect her from the Fire.” Then a woman said: “What about two?” He (Peace be upon him) said, “And two.”

This hadîth consists of several curiosities. One of them is that the women of the Companions were looking for knowledge.

Another is that the Prophet (Peace be upon him) taught mostly men. This proves that the woman can not be compared to the man when it comes to knowledge, patience with the knowledge, the proclamation of knowledge, practice along the knowledge or vocation to knowledge.

It will never cease to amaze me how women can be attracted to a philosophy that describes them thus. Even worse when it’s a religion, claiming to be the guardian of universal and divine truths. What can possibly be attractive about a religion that describes you in this way? And how can anybody claim that women in quotes like these aren’t described as inferior?

Furthermore, I totally disagree with the conclusion made by the islamic scholar. As a teacher I know that you need to spend a lot more time explaining things to the stupid students. The smart ones understand things quickly, the stupid ones need constant reminding and aid. So clearly we must deduce that men are poor students and scholars while the women got it in one.

Polygamy and Christmas

imagesI have always loved Christmas. When I was a child we used to gather the entire family, aunts and cousins and everybody, and spend Christmas eating, singing, playing and reading. It was wonderful!

When our children were small we had started spending Christmas with just the immediate family. Less fuss, more quality time. Still wonderful.

Now of course, my first son and daughter aren’t children any more. When polygamy happened, they demanded Mark spend Christmas with #2. So I spent Christmas with my children, and later with my children and Graham. Mark went to Bimbo, and I suppose they didn’t celebrate Christmas at all. (Mark always loved Christmas). Last year, Mark used his X-mas time off to go to Oman.

This year, things are a bit more complicated.

Mark and #2 are divorced, so he won’t be going to Oman, won’t be spending the holiday with her. And since I now have a little girl, we want to celebrate Christmas in style – the entire family including my son’s fiancée, toys and horseback-riding, a Santa, all of it. So we’re going to spend Christmas in the Chilterns.

So, what about Mark?

According to the schedule, I’m to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with Graham, Boxing Day with Mark. But I don’t want to go back to London until New Year’s Eve… And I don’t want Mark to be alone in London all Christmas, while all the rest of us are in the Chilterns. But I also know Graham doesn’t want Mark to invade his privacy in the Chilterns.

So I don’t know what to do.