When women defend polygyny, they often claim that it’s a test meant to improve their and their husbands deen. For men it means more responsibility and that could be claimed to improve a man’s maturity and level of commitment. For women it’s a test of sacrifice. Women must fight their jealousies and insecurities and become generous enough to share their husbands.
So, does it work?
It is obvious from all the comments and e-mail I get that for most women polygyny is destructive, humiliating and excruciatingly painful. The betrayal, hurt and violation of polygyny makes many women doubt their self worth. Many women lose their sense of self and get lost in a void of self doubt and pain. For some women it means losing all religion. For others it means that they must accept misogynist dogmas, that men are superior and have superior rights, in order to survive the pain. Stockholm syndrome is common.
Does any of this increase these women’s deen? Of course not. Not unless you define deen as survival strategies under extreme stress.
What about the men?
Well, according to my experience men get a high out of feeling superior and this can be achieved by polygyny. They feel like macho men having two or more women. They also get a kick out of breaking their first wife, watching her bend to their superior rights. They get an increased sense of divine rights and superiority, combined with some exhilarating s/m ting.
Does this increase their deen? Of course not. No more so than wanking while reading 50 Shades of Grey.
So why do pro-polygynists keep claiming that polygyny is good for your deen, and for the religion of the Ummah?
You tell me.