Bounce back from what?
Well, first of all from my appendicitis. Since surgery was so quick and easy, I thought I’d feel fine in a sec. It’s taken some time though, and I still feel tired. I think I’ll have to go and have a check up. I’m feeling slightly anemic.
Tamsin’s been keeping us up nights too. Stomach aches. 😦 Poor little pumpkin!
And it’s a bit difficult to reconnect with Mark.
I believe that when he’s with her, he promises things that he can’t keep once he’s back home. I believe she keeps pestering him to bring her back here somehow, and he says he will. Of course, he can’t. And as soon as he’s back in London, she starts badgering him to make good on his promises.
She texts him, e-mails him, tries to call him when he’s forgotten to turn his cell off. I’ve heard him talk to her – sometimes he sounds very angry, sometimes he tries to cajole her. I don’t understand enough Arabic to be able to make out everything he says, but I get the gist. It’s clear to me that he is, maybe not lying to her, but not telling her the entire truth either. And I know he feels guilty about it, about the whole situation.
So Mark is feeling bad. He misses her too I suppose. And he’s ridden by a guilty conscience, both because he’s hurting her and because he’s hurting me.
Sometimes, I just want to sit down and cry. Or run away from it all.
But here I am. Trying to comfort myself, not with chocolate as I’d like to, but with broccoli and cauliflower. 😦 Even if I’m a bit down, at least I don’t want to be anemic.