Envy, Jealousy and Polygamy.

59232We have agreed to go to Scotland.

Mark and I will be staying in my grandparents’ house, Graham and his sister and her family will be staying with my cousin. We will stay for at least a fortnight, and ten days in Graham and Mark will simply swop rooms 🙂 So Tamsin, Graham and I will get a few days together too.

I can tell you, it took a lot of talking, tantrums and bargaining before we arrived at this solution.

Mark was adamant about wanting to be alone with me and Tamsin. He said it’s the least he deserves, he has put up with so much intrusion in our marriage, he needs time alone with me.

I agree. We need time together Mark and I, time to be romantic, time to be adults. But with Tamsin around, it’s not easy. And that’s why finally Mark agreed that Graham could come along, since that means Tamsin can be with dad a few hours now and then. But Graham felt odd about going on his own, hanging around my cousin’s place without me. Happily, Graham’s sister and her family were looking for a place to go for a short vacation, and voila – problem solved.

Graham is still grumpy though about having to share his daughter. Doing it is a lot different from talking about it! And Mark is hurt and angry because Graham will be invading our private time – we have so little of it living polygamy.

So we’re all happy, but beneath the surface there is jealousy, envy and resentment.

Please, keep your fingers crossed we’ll have a nice time!


(I’ll try to approve posts, and maybe write some posts myself while we’re away, but internet access is shaky at best up in the Highlands!)

5 thoughts on “Envy, Jealousy and Polygamy.

  1. Glad to hear things worked out. Graham will get to spend time with his sister, he will have company! Now it makes sense for him to go…he will have fun and not just be alone most of the time..he will get to visit his daughter here and there as well. You and Mark can have some grown up dinner dates or movie time, great! Fun!This really has worked out quite nicely, and yet there’s a part of me that still thinks it would have been lovely if it were just you, Tamsin and Mark. Mark has expressed he wants to love her and I’m sure wants to help raise her along with you. It could of been quality bonding time for Mark and Tamsin, without Graham in the background, a nod to the fact that he’s the real dad.
    The original polygamy rules you have set up are bending a little. Be cautious and think if you can have the same done unto you when/if Mark’s other re-enters the picture, as I’m sure he will want you to make exceptions as well. One day he might say, “You know Fiona, my 2nd has been depressed and I really think it’d be nice if she could tag along on our upcoming vacation, you know, like how Graham tagged along on our last one”. :p For now, enjoy your weekend. 🙂

  2. Is the photo given above is you mark and graham?which one is mark graham.why dont you give ur photo.sorry if i am being rude.pls forgive me

  3. I’d love to share photos, and use my real name. As a matter of fact, I have shared so many details about myself that I know I’m getting close to be detectable already. What’s keeping me from posting my name and pictures is the sad fact that I receive hate-mail, and sometimes threats.

  4. You know, you could always create a private Yahoogroup in addition to/instead of this blog, where you could invite those you trust to chat there or something (and share photos and such). No one has seen me either. Not here, not at 411, not on facebook either. Though I’m obviously pretty detectable, since I got outted to Ana as being “Unchained”. I’m a bit sad but it’s for the best. I liked the girls I talked to there, the ones who weren’t batshit mental anyway, and since Ana forbid us from exchanging contact info off the blog I won’t be able to talk to them anymore, unless they come here.

  5. I appreciated Judith, Gail and Jenny. Those were the girls I would have liked to keep talking to. I don’t think they’d write here though, since that would bar them from Ana’s blog. Sadly.

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