I have been doing my best throughout the pregnancy to respect Marks feelings. I chose a new room to be made into Tamsin’s, since I didn’t want Mark to feel I’m allowing her to take the place of our children. I have bought all new clothes and toys for the same reason.
The Annex will be Tamsin’s home, but naturally I want her to have a room in the House too – we’re her family and this is her home. We talked a lot about this, and Mark agreed even though I realize it’s not easy for him.
We came home before Mark did. I prepared dinner. I’ve missed him very much and I was longing for him to meet Tamsin, to be a part of this miracle.
When Mark came home I just stood there, waiting for his reaction. He looked at me and smiled, but he went over to Tamsin’s recliner first. I was watching them, my stomach in a knot.
He picked her up. Held her, looked at her, let her grab one of his fingers. He just stood there silently for a long while, holding my daughter.
Finally he looked at me.
“I love you Fiona. And I’ll love Tamsin too if you’ll let me”
This is the beginning of a new chapter. I’m looking forward to it.