Being a Family in Polygamy

ThreeringsIt was time for me and Tamsin to go home, to meet Mark.

I have been doing my best throughout the pregnancy to respect Marks feelings. I chose a new room to be made into Tamsin’s, since I didn’t want Mark to feel I’m allowing her to take the place of our children. I have bought all new clothes and toys for the same reason.

The Annex will be Tamsin’s home, but naturally I want her to have a room in the House too – we’re her family and this is her home. We talked a lot about this, and Mark agreed even though I realize it’s not easy for him.

We came home before Mark did. I prepared dinner. I’ve missed him very much and I was longing for him to meet Tamsin, to be a part of this miracle.

When Mark came home I just stood there, waiting for his reaction. He looked at me and smiled, but he went over to Tamsin’s recliner first. I was watching them, my stomach in a knot.

He picked her up. Held her, looked at her, let her grab one of his fingers. He just stood there silently for a long while, holding my daughter.

Finally he looked at me.

“I love you Fiona. And I’ll love Tamsin too if you’ll let me”

This is the beginning of a new chapter. I’m looking forward to it.

 

18 thoughts on “Being a Family in Polygamy

  1. Oh, wow… I think the fact you respected Mark’s feelings regarding your pregnancy and coming of the new baby helped Mark to overcome his own negative feelings, at least for now. I hope things go well for you.

  2. I know it’s difficult to believe from reading this blog, but Mark is a man worth loving 🙂

  3. aww, this made me smile. I’m glad to hear things are headed in the right direction 🙂

  4. Wow How did such a loving man fell for the you-can-bring-a-young-wife-from-Yemen. Really we should be very careful what kind of people we choose to hang out with and be very very careful if they are changing us for worst and taking us away from our family.
    I am so glad that the Love between you and Mark stayed strong. Its so big of Mark to Love and accept Tamsin. This is what every child deserves irrespective of any family situations, conflicts, jealousy.
    Tamsin is bringing out the real Mark, your loving husband. I hope this helps ease some of the pain you went though.

  5. Hie Fiona,

    Perhaps this is the Most Beautiful post one can ever get to read in a blog meant for living Polygamy!!

  6. I sniffled a bit. Babies are so innocent and precious, if smelly and loud at the worst times, and I’m glad he was able to see that and support you in your joy.

  7. I am happy too – and grateful. But I must admit, there is tension in the air.

  8. I have no doubt. I still feel that edge-of-the-seat feeling regarding Mark and Bimbo and what is to come, as the status quo can’t last forever. Probably an effect of sorta reliving my own experience when writing about it here, yeah, but I am remembering when M waffled back and forth about and with N, and I wondered when it was all going to bust open. I didn’t push anything about it with him, but just waited.

    I didn’t have to wait long. I don’t think you will either.

  9. Having said that, Fiona, try not to absorb that tension too much. If I’m not mistaken, you’re nursing Tamsin and tension can disrupt your milk quantity and quality. Plus babies pick up on mum’s feelings. Detach from the tension as much as you possibly can my dear ❤

  10. Fiona, since you and mark are now equal in polygamy. that might have reduced your hatred for your co-wife or what ever you call her?

  11. She is my husbands whore, she is nothing to me. And no, it has not reduced my hatred and contempt. You see, the pain was too great, the torture too horrible for me ever to be able to forgive or let go. You know, when I think of how my husband left me, over and over again, to go to her while I was trowing up, screaming, crying shivering – the look on his face when he closed the door. When I think of his sheepish smile when he came back from her, newly fucked and smelling of her, expecting me to let him come back to me as a husband – I HATE HIM SO MUCH!!! And – him I love. So you can just imagine how I feel about her, the girl who texted me images of him asleep in her bed, who called me the vilest names, who demanded he divorce me and give her everything that was mine, who texted horrible things about me to my children…

  12. Oh gosh, that all sounds so familiar. “N” did the same things, except the photos. I think even she knew where to draw a line, and with all the threats I made to M about mopping the street with her if she ever crossed my path, she knew she could only go so far before I made good on those threats (trust me, I meant them. I was out for blood, literally as well as figuratively). I knew where she lives, where she works, where her closest relatives live and work.

    My hatred of N hasn’t abated one iota. And a part of me hates M, a guy I love very much, for how he continued to go back to a woman who’d do these vile things, making lameass excuses for her insane and evil behavior. I just couldn’t understand it. Still don’t. I was no saint – but I didn’t bust into a family and fuck everything up and continue to rub poison in that wound. I defended myself, yes. I give what I get, and when kindness was rewarded with hate, I let loose on her and reduced her to hysterics on more than one occasion. It was way too easy to do with her, though.

    I couldn’t understand how M could love a creature like that and elevate her status to wife? How could he lay in bed with that thing for 4 nights straight and then come home to me and the boys? I sit here writing this after reading Fiona’s statement about Bimbo and the things she did…it resonated deep, like FLASHBACK…PTSD I swear! 😛

    I’m not kidding, I feel my anger bubbling up all over again like I want to rip her – and him – to pieces. Even after all this time.

  13. I think the wound is too deep to ever actually heal. I am not the person I was.

  14. Neither am I. I was always a very laid back, happy-go-lucky optimist (the Sagittarius in me), always believed in trusting someone implicitly until given a reason not to, and forgave very easily. Not at all quick to anger, no anxiety issues, no depression. Difficult situations I handled with my weird sense of humor.

    That has all changed, bigtime 😦 I miss the old me but she ain’t coming back anytime soon I don’t think. I still have my sense of humor but it’s got a bitter edge.

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