It’s an enigma we keep coming back to. We understand how a selfish man, brainwashed by islam that it is his right and he is doing the ummah a favour, can opt for polygyny, hoping to gain excitement, maledom and sex.
But how can a woman agree to becoming a second wife? And, the thousand pound question, how can she live with herself if she knows she became a second wife at the expense of another woman whose life, love and health are irrevocably destroyed through this deed?
As I see it there are a few different answers to this question.
1. The second wife is extremely young and/or extremely selfish. The kind of woman who is on the maturity level of a four year old, who hides in a cupboard with a candy bar so she won’t have to share it with anybody because all that exists in the mind is mine, mine, mine. This is the woman who believes she is the winner when she gets the man to marry her, and she is silly enough to believe that he will soon get rid of the old wife, and she will get the toy all to herself. This kind of immaturity can also be caused my mental illness.
2. The second wife is a whore. She doesn’t care the man is married, or that she is destroying a family and another woman, as long as she gets paid.
3. The second wife is a sadist. A mentally and sexually warped woman who takes pleasure in causing pain and wallowing in the misery of others.
4. The second wife is starving in the streets, watching her children from an earlier marriage die from lack of food and medicines and she is unfortunate enough to have as her only aid a muslim man who believes there is no other way to help a woman and her children than to fuck her.
These are the answers I have come up with. All second wives I have come across have belonged to one of the first three groups.