My Baby

Heart-beatWe have a daughter.

A healthy, beautiful daughter.

Her name is Tamsin, after her paternal grandmother.

I can’t tell you how much I love her, how much I love her father.

You should see them. The tenderness of a man with his newborn daughter in his arms.

And I’ll let you in on a secret: It’s true. All babies come with a hat.

263 thoughts on “My Baby

  1. I understand Maryam. I do. I just don’t agree. And why don’t men have to wear hijab, if modesty is in the hijab? To me, modesty is a matter of behaviour, not a scarf. Modesty lies with the beholder.

  2. Why don’t men have to keep women from stumbling? Can’t you see that this is exactly the kind of argument that adds fire to the debate? Why does not covering the head give an increased level of modesty to men???? I could be posting derogatory cartoons about women and niqab or hijab too, but I won’t. I’m not out to ridicule. I’m letting go of this subject now.

  3. Fiona! i agree with you, modesty is in the behavior, i really do. though i wanted to ask you why you find american vulgo cheap and why do you detest it, aren’t they modest? because according to you(i side with you here) modesty lies with the beholder. so it is subjective.

    more over i took the trouble of writing a lengthy post, explaining hijab i hope you read that? As for Veil, it is erroneously derived from some verses of surah Ahzab of Quran. i would like you and maryam to go through this link.

    http://www.javedahmadghamidi.com/index.php/books/view/32.-misinterpretation-of-some-verses-of-suurah-ahzaab

    again even though i don’t believe women have to veil themselves up because it is not requirement of Islam. but i stand with them and i support their right to cover themselves up. but people start mocking us of playing “RELIGIOUS FREEDOM CARD”.

  4. In cultures like United Arab Emirates, men do cover their head. For one thing, getting a more honest translation of Khimar would be useful. There are Hadith which talks about women with head-covers. Now I am not sure if those Hadith are referring to make a distinction between free believing women to slave women. I should check up more on that.

    Secondly, many of us already wearing it are fine with it, and it has provided various benefits to us. I don’t see how removing my head-cover would make me more free, except that I am succumbing to another party’s definition of freedom. So we had rather have people leave us alone, and let us continue this part of our Muslim lifestyle.

    Perhaps the definition of freedom could be further investigated, as to what is truly free, before anyone tries to follow another’s definition. There are other parts of body besides the head to be covered. Indian women wearing sarees are called modest n India, while in the West she could be criticised for revealing a large part of their belly. In the West wearing shirts showing slight cleavage and skirts above the knee is termed within modest, while in India it is not.

    Men have to wear thick suits in everyday formal attire, while women don’t have to and can wear gowns or other dresses less hot and uncomfortable. Women can get around skinny jeans and showing cleavage, whereas if a man wears skinny jeans and shirt unbuttoned halfway, he is called immodest and made fun of. I have noticed that. Men’s clothing is in general loosely made, whereas for women they are a lot more form-fitting. Those are just as much of double standards too. I would say perhaps the fact we have so much of patriarchy in society makes this difference in Muslim men and women’s clothing all the more noticeable.

  5. By the way Fiona I understand your concern on women’s body parts being an increased level of shame apparently compared to men, because of the hijab, or niqaab. And that she must be covered more to prevent men from being sexually aroused. I don’t have much of a reply on this. All I do know is that it is a matter of faith for us.

    Perhaps you could do more investigation on this, discussing with knowledgeable women with Muslim backgrounds, and those who are not simply out there to prove Islam is flawless to you so you can accept Islam. This topic is not as obvious as it seem. The internet is quite unreliable for this, being filled with articles from ex-Muslims and on the other side fundamentalists who have a patriarchy mindset such as scholars of islamqa.com. There are also people who have a distorted reasoning for hijab. So yeah. But otherwise for you hijab/niqaab may be oppressive, but for me and others we see it in a different way. So this matter needs to be discussed in a more careful way to avoid upsetting certain parties.

  6. I started writing an answer on vulgo culture, but it is really complicated, and the post on my being THE most unlikely person in polygamy is actually part of the answer I started to write. I’ll try to finish it soon, but Tamsin keeps me from focusing 😉

  7. //I would say perhaps the fact we have so much of patriarchy in society makes this difference in Muslim men and women’s clothing all the more noticeable.”” Yes. And I’m glad at least you recognize that the hijab is part of a patriarchal structure.

  8. I didn’t mean that. I said with all other levels of unfair patriarchy being present, the difference in clothing between men and women is also easily constituted under patriarchy. Even if women say otherwise, women’s modest clothing will still be constituted under patriarchy, till other levels of real and unfair patriarchy is removed from the Muslim society.

  9. Saad I just went through the link you provided on the misinterpretations of Surah Ahzab. Thanks for that.

    By the way that webpage did not include the interpretation of Surah Nur on the hijab verse (24:31 verse). Khimar is referred to as something that covers. Otherwise it seems to have varying interpretations. The verse is directed at believing women. So she does seem to have some level of increased modesty compared to a man, when she is directed to use a khimar to cover their chest. I don’t see any annotation of free or slave woman being attached to this verse.

  10. Ooh, the idea that any fraction of an inch of Woman is shameful BURNS me! We are as much the image of the Divine as the males of our species and we ought to be darn proud of our femaleness. I’m proud of my child-bearing hips, my nourishing breasts, and my life-sustaining womb. I celebrate my monthly flows, the evidence that I am capable of producing tiny life, a literal blood sacrifice to the Goddess and my family. Looking at what signals my sex, I am PROUD. The things the female can do and think and be are practically unlimited. How dare anyone tell me to hide my glory??? That said, true liberation is in CHOICE. Choosing to go completely veiled or completely skyclad or anywhere in between, knowing that any choice will have the same result. I ought to be able to cover everything from the top of my head to the soles of my feet and still garner the same public respect as if I chose to go stark naked. Another man’s or woman’s lust is not my problem. If I can’t legally go topless, then neither should men be able to do so. I understand women who find comfort in covering, and I don’t want to take that away (it would make me no better than those who force women to cover), but it should not be based in shame. I admit, I like to veil myself sometimes. I don’t belong to any patriarchal religion, but sometimes the covering affords seclusion I need at the time. But it should be just as acceptable for men to be covered and secluded when they need it. Sometimes I like to wear nothing and be free and open. Again, it should be acceptable. The human body is a wonderful thing, but it’s still just a thing. What goes on in your mind has precious little to do with your sartorial choices and much to do with society’s expectations and sanctions. As a nod to social convention and plain polite behavior, I’d cover my head in mosques or churches and strip at a nude beach. God doesn’t give a damn if you cover or not. If that was the case, we would have all been born clothed and covered.

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