One woman, Fatima, from the US told her story in a way that made me cry. She was 38 years old, a mother of two, her youngest son was only three years old. And she was dying.
Her husband had married a second wife 8 years ago. As usual, it had been against the wishes of the first wife. She said however that being a good muslimah she had tried to cope, and she had taken comfort in the fact that her husband had chosen to marry a divorced lady instead of a young virgin. She was happy that at least her husband was trying to live polygamy islamically, and not only looking for new, younger women.
A while back, Fatima had started to feel poorly. She had begun to experience pain during sex, and she found that she sometimes bled after intercourse. She also had a bad, continuous backpain.
They found she had cervical cancer. And it was beyond help. She is dying.
They told her papilloma virus was the reason she had cancer. And the papilloma virus had been brought to her by her husband from his other wife. The other wife never knew she had papilloma virus. Not all women get any symptoms at all from this.
80 million people in the US alone carry the virus. Many of them will never know, so they keep spreading it. Men won’t as easily get sick from it, but they give it to their women, and they might die. Fatima said polygyny is one of the reasons papilloma is spreading so rapidly. Many men still don’t make their new wives check for STD:s before they marry, and there are men who don’t care if their women have papilloma since it’s not as hazardous for males. And a lot of people don’t understand that e.g. papilloma virus spreads just as much among people who only have marital sex. So all you women out there living polygyny – you must be aware that your husband may be bringing death to your bed! As a small gift from his other wife…
So Fatima is dying, her children will loose their mother. Why? Because her husband chose polygamy. Because her husband forced her to share the papilloma virus with his second wife.
Polygyny killed Fatima.
It’s interesting to know that polyandry does not cause the same damage. A woman is five times as likely to contract e.g. gonorrhea, or cancer from papilloma virus, than a man. So in polyandry, the polygamous party is the one taking the major risk. In polygyny however, the polygamous male takes almost no risk. It’s the monogamous wives who have to pay the price for their polygamous husband. Another clear moral argument for polyandry, and against polygyny.