I am having a problem that I am afraid to discuss because it might seem like I have no trust or faith. I am married since 8 years and my husband took a second wife two years ago. I was very reluctant but I have tried to adjust and I do believe that polygamy is permissible. I have not questioned that. I hoped it would not ever be a real thing for me but I have tried to accept it after my husbands decision.
My husband is not handling polygamy well I think. He is not just with time and he keeps letting his second wife manipulate our schedule. They have a small baby and he keeps taking my night and gives to her and says he can because of the baby. He is often changing promises and even if he gives excuses I believe he often lies. He has also told me things about his other wife that should have been private and this makes him a great sinner and I am afraid that he tells her things about me.
I have children and I don’t want to leave my husband. I can not give my children up. And he does provide for us and I believe he is just with money. But I know that he does not keep up his religion with his second wife and they say he does not even attend Jumu’ah on her days. When he comes from her he also speaks foul words and behaves differently. He treats me and his children bad because of her and this.
But my big worry is this. I try to live so I can reach Jannah. It is my greatest wish. But I believe my husband has no chance to reach Jannah the way he is living now. His lies and being unjust and not coping with polygamy I think he will not be allowed paradise. So I am afraid. Does this mean that if I am admitted to Jannah I will have to marry another man? The thought is horrifying to me! And also that this man then would be married to another woman and to hoori and I would have to share this man too and for eternity. I am so afraid of this.
So my question is, should I or any woman who is married to a man who is failing polygamy so he will end up in Jahannam rather divorce so she can go with her husband to Jannah? Or is it better to stay with a husband who is failing all religion and take the obvious risk to have to marry a new man in Jannah?
Thank you sister for allowing me to post and to be part of this blog. /Merica