Guide on How to be a Good Muslim Husband

polygamy-femaleDear Mark.

You showed me a version of this guide once, remember? Half in jest, half in earnest. “Guide on How to be a Good Muslim Wife”. Well, I have adjusted the guide somewhat, and hope you will find it beneficial reading. 🙂

Husbands must do everything they can to keep their wives pleased with them. The ideal husband combines three characteristics; he pleases his wife when she sees him by taking care to appear beautiful before her; he obeys her when she gives a command; he does never go against her wishes regarding his person or property.

To refuse to go with his wife when she calls him to bed is a grave mistake that a husband must avoid.If he is feeling jealous because she has just come from one of her other husbands, he must be patient and double his efforts to please her.

When a husband intends to fast, he may do so only with his wife’s permission. If he does not receive her permission, then she has the right to make him break his fast when he is observing it. The reason for this is that she might wish to exercise her conjugal rights with him, which she cannot do if he is fasting. It’s also extremely important that he keeps himself in good shape so he can make sex enjoyable every time for his wife, his own needs must take second place.

It is a husband’s duty not to allow anyone, that his wife does not want, to enter the house without her permission. He may not give anything away without her permission. He should avoid asking his wife for extra money and he should show immense gratitude for whatever is given to him.

A good husband is one who is true to his wife’s word if she commands him to do something. On a wife’s return home, a husband should receive her kindly and meet her with a good temper, a clean house, a nice meal and beautiful appearance. He should try not to neglect his wife’s needs nor ignore her demands. The more a husband takes care of his wife, the more he will be loved. Most wives consider their husbands’ care of them as an expression of their love.

A husband should make sure to treat all his wife’s friends and family with great respect. This is a mark of respect and honour for the wife.

Leaving the house frequently is a bad habit for a man. He should also not leave the house if his wife objects to his doing so. He does not have the right to leave the house without her express permission.

If a wife’s friends enquire about her, a husband should answer them but without indulging in lengthy conversation. Spending time with friends keeps a husband from giving his wife and his house the attention they deserve. Taking care of the house and running the household are the husband’s responsibility.

If the wife gives her husband permission to go out to work, this should not be seen as a licence to equality. In fact, the issue of also producing income to the households is something which might later act as a dividing factor between husband and wife. If the husband works outside the house, his income might delude him into thinking that he is in any way equal to his wife, or entitled to rights others than those she chooses to infer on him. This is not true. A husband should take his sole pleasure in subjecting himself to his wife. If his wife does not allow him to work, he must be satisfied with the level of comforts his wife can provide on her income and not pose unreasonable demands on her.

Speaking to or telling others about sexual matters between a husband and wife is a grave sin in Islam. This applies especially to the husband who must keep himself chaste. His sole sexual concern must be to give pleasure to his wife. He must also understand that it is her right and duty to seek intimate pleasure with her other husbands. A husband may never inquire about what takes place between his wife and her other husbands. Instead he must make sure she finds peace and pleasure in his company. He should not be afraid to express his love, need and affection for his wife. It will please her and bind her closer to the family; Moreover, if she does not find an attractive, loving man at home, she may be driven for solace elsewhere, outside the home.

Leadership in the family is given to the wife. For the husband to demand complete and full equality with his wife will result in having two heads in the family and this does not exist in Islam. However, the wife should not misuse her position. She should display love and affection and treat her husband well, give him enough food and only beat him when he is disobedient or rebellious.

If a husband remembers these rules, his marriage will be happy and he will feel fulfilled knowing his wife will be pleased with him.


20 thoughts on “Guide on How to be a Good Muslim Husband

  1. I was relieved that this blog was down. This is disgusting. It is unnatural. No man would demean himself like this.

  2. Fiona

    Don’t you see how you disrespect all muslim women who try to be good wives by living in accordance with sunnah? Why mock women who try to reach Jannah by serving Allah through serving their husband? I am proud to serve my husband to be a comfort to him. Obedience is no burden when you have a good husband!

  3. And yet you keep coming back. Why? Because something inside recognizes that something is wrong.

    I agree though. It is totally disgusting and unnatural and no woman should ever demean herself like that. But…women aren’t actually people to you, are they? 😦
    News flash: every single human starts off female in the womb. Female is the DEFAULT for humanity.

  4. Women who try to reach Jannah by serving their husbands are not going to end up in Jannah, plain and simple. The ONLY one that must be served is Allah.

  5. But you expect a woman to demean herself like this. All Fiona did is swap the genders.

  6. Jannah, huh? Where you wont be jealous, because you will be beautiful?
    And your husband will be having sex with perpetual virgins?

  7. “Disgusting” only when the shoe is on the other foot eh? Disrespectful only when it’s pointed out in neon that you’re nothing more than chattel, eh?

  8. Hello, and welcome!

    Could you please be a bit more specific? It’s difficult to answer you properly otherwise 🙂

  9. Oh dear I think I will just read the comments on this one 🙂
    Great job Creating this post Fiona!

  10. Hello

    I see what you are trying to do and I can understand. If I was a woman I think I would also find some rules unfair because you always want what somebody else has. I can sometimes be very envious of my sisters who can stay home when I must go to masjid and I can find fasting difficult when my sister maybe must not fast. But these rules consider the differences in our nature. My sisters biology may need food because of woman issues, so they have permission not to fast. I can’t say this is unjust? I may be envious but I must see it is fair. Same with ruling of family. A woman doesn’t know as much of the world and economy since she is more in the home, so it is natural that the man is head of family. If a woman decides something about the house or clothes or something a man should let her decide because she knows more about that! And polygamy is natural to men, it is not unjust. I understand that you may be envious and not want to share. But children may not want to share things between them but as parents we teach them they must share is it not so? And a man can have many children at the same time is this unfair? Or is it just natural?

  11. Hello Khaleed, and thank you for offering your opinion about what women are. What women are is really none of your business.

  12. oh good lord Khaleed. Where have YOU been the last 50 years? What antiquated rubbish. Well at least you feel sharing is a good life lesson….so your wife can go find herself a second husband? 🙂

  13. Awesome replies guys. I do feel sorry for these men’s wives or future wives though. The woman being taught by the man how to be a woman. Us women know exactly how we feel about this matter. After a while though these men look like cows moving their mouths.

  14. Actually I feel sorry for all women who listens to men like these, or have to listen in some way, whoever the man may be.

  15. Hie Zach!!

    Undoubtedly you are a Muslim man so are polygamous too?
    How many wives do you have and whom you love more and why?
    Please tell us if you don’t feel offended, I just want to know and understand what qualities a Woman according to you should posses and what’s that you find attractive??

    Warm regards

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