Love and Loose with a Muslim Husband

Muslim_woman_in_YemenI stumbled across a blogpost I found very interesting. It’s called Having loved and lost in Oman – divorce.

I think it’s a very good read for women thinking about marrying an Omani man, or any muslim man for that matter. But it also makes me think. If this is what you should know if you as a Western woman intend to marry an Omani man – what should an Omani man know before he marries an English woman?

First of all, the author of the article I’m discussing says women must understand it’s a muslim man’s right to marry up to four wives. Well, in Europe if you do, you’re a bigamist and you’ll go to jail. And you can kiss any chance of seeing your children goodbye. This is something an Omani man must realize before he marries a European woman.

If you’re a muslim bigamist and your wife divorces you, there is no way you’ll get custody of the children. And I believe this is fair. And if you take the children from the mother, you’re a cursed kidnapper and if you ever show up in the civilized world you’ll grow old in jail. And that is fair.

A muslim man must understand that if he uses his islamic “right” to admonish, strike, his wife, he will go to jail. And loose the right to see his children.

An Omani man must understand that if he marries and has children with an English woman and then divorces her, she gets to keep the children and he must keep paying maintenance and child support until the children are 18 (or 20 if they’re at school). And he must keep paying even if the woman marries somebody else. As is only fair. And if an English woman divorces her Omani husband and keeps the children, she will also get the house. No matter if the husband paid for it. And this is only fair. Especially if he’s a criminal who strikes his wife or his children, or is a bigamist.

So just as western women should not complain about the islamic laws in Oman if they choose to marry there, an Omani (or any muslim) man has no right to complain about the laws here, if he chooses to marry e.g. in the UK.

We should however make sure that no muslim man of foreign origin who has children with a UK citizen is allowed through customs without written consent from his wife, or ex-wife if she is the mother of his children ๐Ÿ™‚

I wonder if the Omani princess would agree?

And all the Omani princes?

17 thoughts on “Love and Loose with a Muslim Husband

  1. A woman is much safer with a good muslim husband than a cheating husband who allows her to be in danger and not in the safety of his protection. The children should be with the father because he is economy responsible for them. I don’t understand why you dont find it better to live like a princess who is protected and loved by a husband who maybe can protect more than one wife remember it is an option not an obligation. Than to have cheating husbands and being judged over your bodies and beauty and have to work instead of to be with your children.

  2. I live in a south Asian country.In our country a written consent of wife is to be taken incase of polygyny.Without this if a husband remarry,he will go to jail.Besides he is hated in the society for polygamy.

  3. Hi Jasmeet!
    All good. But what if the husband tells his wife that he will divorce her and leave her unable to fend for herself and socially stigmatized if she doesn’t consent? What if he says he will take the children and never let them see their mother again but give them to the new, young beautiful bride? What rights does the wife have then?

  4. Not so easy.The father pays for rearing children.Besides children stay with the mother.But after a certain age(i forgot),the court ask whether they want to stay with the father or mother.Besides our society doesnot approve polygamy.I have seen men are beaten for remarriage and the society help the firl.Besides if the wife complain both men and the second wife lose their jobs.I am not bluffing it is true.

  5. Why are you agonizing so over Ana? If she’s happy in polygamy sharing her guy, why worry? Yeah, she spills some rotten beans sometimes but what’s that to you? Maybe they like having two-timing husbands? Maybe they like being victims? Why not just let them? Hey, this Ana character may be some creep who gets off on this kind of thing? What do we know?

  6. I’m agonizing over anybody who is trying to manipulate women into becoming victims of horrible crimes. I agonize over traffickers, over paedophiles, over polygynists, over Ana. Simple as that.

  7. I would really love to know how a polygamous husband is able to love and protect his wife when he is spending half the marriage away from home “loving” and “protecting” some other woman. And how it is possible not to work when he takes half of his income and spends it on the other wife? I had to work my ass off to make up the difference when mine decided to marry again.

  8. I got a big smile reading your post LilGal. Frankly, that’s how most “religious” people look to me; 2-timing, empty cans of rotten beans who talk all the time about the afterlife so they can cover up their behaviors in the here and now.

  9. Wahamin, I was just about to respond to your post, but then I stopped and thought about the mental perspective that is reflected in your words. Now I only have one query.

    You don’t need to justify your choices to anyone, why are you reading and responding to this blog? You are already free to do anything you want in the context you just described. Why do you care, Wahamin, if the blog owner wants to do something different with her life?

  10. “The children should be with the father because he is economy responsible for them”
    How exactly is he going to take care of the children if he’s out making money? The free in-home babysitter (wife) is gone at this point. Have you looked into how much child-care costs? It can literally consume EVERYTHING one person makes monthly just to pay for it. If you dump the kids off on another wife, be prepared that she will more than likely mistreat, or at the very best neglect, these children that aren’t hers, these children that are proof her husband has been screwing someone else. In the wild *both* male and female animals can and will KILL young that does not belong to them. Humans still have that deplorable instinct. Besides, how disgusting do you have to be to steal children away from their mother? Away from the person who sacrificed her health and life each pregnancy to bring them into the world? To the person who reassured them that daddy still loved them even if he didn’t play with them anymore because he was too enthralled with some pussy?

  11. I had to laugh at the princess comment. As far as I recall there was only ONE princess that was forced to stay home all day, had to dust/mop/do laundry/be the household slave, and that was Cinderella. Guess what, when she found her prince he RESCUED her from that crap.

  12. I’m with you Allie. But in Oman e.g. what happens most of the time is that daddy keeps the children and hand them over to wife 2,3 or 4 while the divorced wife is cut off and socially stigmatized. If you browse islamqa e.g. you will find lots of posts from polygamous fathers who are ASTOUNDED that their new young wives aren’t treating the children of the first wife right.. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  13. @LilGil.
    I’ve been reading 411 for years. I found my way there because I thought my husband was cheatin on me. When I’d been readin a while i saw thats just what was goin on over there too they just called it religion and says men have rights to cheat ๐Ÿ˜ฎ Struck me as a sick kind of sect, and nothin they wrote since has been none healthier! Somethin interestin though is those ads that Ana used to have there for Anti Age R Us? Well for the curios you can find this company in Morris Plain,NJ, like here: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/naim-samad/11/652/b14 And now, Ana says she is investing in a security company. And know what, I kinda recognize this guy: http://www.manta.com/c/mx7zxjg/blue-moon-security-llc Aint saying nothin, just find it interestin but might have nothin to do with nothin ๐Ÿ˜‰ Seems to me Ana might be a real ugly ol man, or the wife of a r u o m … lol.

  14. Salaams
    My husband married a Scandinavian woman some years ago. He needed a second wife he say because he travel and is in Scandinavia months every year. She has caused much ruin for family. She demanded time and money from my husband and threatened to tell he was polygamos otherwise and he would lose his work with a big international firm and she would take his children. He has been forced to spend less and less time with me and our children and is afraid of coming lame to Jannah because he can not be fair. I will not forgive him for be unfair because I hated to be polygamos and it is his fault so I dont forgive. He has hardly no money for us anymore my father must pay. My husband is breaking his heart over this and I many times see he has cried. But he can’t divorce her because she can prove he is polygamist and he will lose his children. She is evil to my family but it was mu husbands fault. Maybe muslim men should not be allow to marry any but muslims just like muslimahs?

  15. Morris Plain,
    I was so glad to read your post above, and to know that there are some normal people over at 411, reading. I always feel slightly insane after reading some of their posts.There is a very funny editorial in Time magazine this week written by Joel Stein, about the pyramid scheme, Herbalife. So he went to a Herbalife sales session, and describes it as having that “cult quality”. No matter how crazy it is, it just makes you sort of want to “join up”. Well that’s the 411 blog. Lets all “join up” and suffer so we can get to the afterlife.

  16. I used to post there and still read regularly. It’s kind of a trainwreck you just can’t help gawking at. I’d like to think I’m fairly normal though lol

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