Can an Intelligent Woman Accept Polygyny?

Topfer_Feminines_Corrections_2A while ago a woman, a woman living polygyny, claimed that she would only discuss polygyny with people who are intelligent. She  specified that “intelligent” in her book meant that they were pro-polygyny, muslim and willing to bow to her superior knowledge. She stated she would not discuss polygyny with any unintelligent person who’d resort to “name-calling”, e.g. say things like “you are worth something better than a man who’s sleeping with somebody else” 🙂

Since this woman repeatedly has stated that women are to subject to their husbands, be devoutly obedient and polygyny is a path to heaven for true believers, I didn’t really give her statement much thought.

But then again, the question of intelligence is interesting. Is accepting polygyny a matter of intelligence?

Since I was forced into polygyny, I’ve had the privilege to meet – both IRL and online, a lot of women living polygamy. Some of these women are happily polyamorous and living equal polygamy. All good. Most women however are living in unequal polygyny, sometimes even forced polygyny. These women are of all kinds. Some are highly educated, some are almost illiterate. They’re located all around the world. Most are muslim,.

Many of them seem to be highly intelligent.

Some of them have found pragmatic reasons to accept polygamy. “He provides for me, and as long as he coughs up he can fuck whomever he wants”. Ok, if that’s enough for some, it’s up to them. Others are staying because they have no choice. Theirs is a life in perpetual agony, unbelievable pain. They accept it because survival in hell is better than death.

Some women survive thanks to the Stockholm syndrome. They start defending polygyny, saying things like “My husband didn’t do this to me, God did”. They claim that whatever doesn’t kill you will make you stronger, that it’s a test. They turn viciously against anybody trying to open their eyes. They defend their keepers and tormentors, because admitting that they are victims of a horrible crime is even more painful than denying it.

They start reading the quran the way the devil reads the bible. I found e.g. a site where a woman who was obviously intelligent defended polygyny saying: “Polygamy is allowed unconditionally (so long as the husband treats his wives equally), unbound to time, place or people. To accept this fact is a part of my faith, whether I like it or not.”

This woman can read. Still she isn’t able to see the conditions explicitly stated in the quran. E.g. it says: You shall hand over to the ORPHANS* their rightful properties. Do not substitute the bad for the good, and do not consume their properties by combining them with yours. This would be a gross injustice. If you fear that you will not be equitable towards the ORPHANS*, then you may marry their mothers. You may marry two, three, or four. But this woman. like thousands of others, can only read the last seven words. It’s incomprehensible.

I believe an intelligent woman can accept polygamy. I believe an intelligent woman can accept polygyny too, if she sees it as a means of survival. She may choose to accept polygyny to survive. Her psyche may also choose any means available to survive, e.g. the stockholm syndrome.

For an intelligent woman to accept polygyny however, she has to give up her integrity, her mental health, her freedom of thought and expression – her soul.

So the interesting question is, can any intelligent man accept polygyny?

 

8 thoughts on “Can an Intelligent Woman Accept Polygyny?

  1. Can an intelligent woman except polygamy? I believe that an intelligent woman trapped into , born into , brainwashed into & BELIEVING A LIE THAT SHE HAS TO SUBMIT TO IT OUT OF FEAR can be intelligent but is BRAINWASHED that it is her “lot in life” ordained by God himself (that IS the lie part).Let us take a look at the 2 main groups who are required to submit to polygamy……Mormon & Muslim .The Mormon faith was started by Joseph Smith who had a “revelation from god” that men have to have as many wives & children as possible so that after they die they will “become gods ” in their own little celestuel kingdom in the heavens ruling & reining for eternity.Oh i must add that Joseph was having an affair with one of his servants in his house hold BEFORE he got this so called revelation .Joseph Smith also lusted after married women & went to them in private telling them that god told him that they were to become his celestuel wives! He was a FALSE PROPHET who committed adultery repeatedly & taught a lie that men can become gods.The Muslim faith i think has more honor when it comes to polygamy then Joseph Smith version….BUT it still came from a man’s mouth NOT GOD’S mouth. It all comes down to what a woman believes in her heart to be truth. she can be intelligent & brainwashed at the same time.

  2. Can an intelligent man except polygyny ? Of course…….they are the ones that created it.They are the ones in total control over the whole situation & can do whatever they want without any input from their “wives” because they “rule over them”.The first polygamist was Lamech (can’t spell) who was a decendant of Cain who murdered his brother Abel.It became a custom & has’nt changed for centuries .Women were not allowed to make decisions on their own.They were owned & controlled by their father (first) & then by their husband.Let me give you an example of this “mind set custom of owning women” & how it still goes on today.My friend Denise took a trip to Israel recently with her church group. They were on a bus tour & stopped somewhere when this man came up to the bus driver & offered his camel in exchange for Denise to become his wife!!!! Notice he never even talked to Denise to see if she was interested in becoming his wife (why do that when he was taught that men are in control & women do not have any choices) Yes you can buy a woman in some countries without her permission still today! 2000 years & things haven’t changed one bit.

  3. I want to leave another example of “owning woman” that happened here in San Fransisco Bay Area. A customer of mine worked at a business with a young Muslim man who had 2 wives.She asked the man how he met his 2 wives.He said his first wife was an arranged marriage & his 2nd wife HE WON IN A BET!!!!! Exscuse me but is’nt that called human trafficking???? Or should i say slavery?

  4. I’d like to think I’m reasonably intelligent. I was in the National Honor Society my junior year in high school, I graduated college, I’ve worked in administrative support and database management roles for many years (taught myself computer stuffs lol)…so in a purely “book-learning” sense, I’ve got it going on.

    My common sense is lacking at times, and my reasoning when it comes to emotions, relationships, planning and looking at the big picture is where I need quite a bit of work. I’m impulsive and eternally optimistic.

    I’m also quite co-dependent. I got that from my mother. And stubborn beyond any reason. So when polygyny hit me like a ton of bricks several years ago, I was ripe for “brainwashing” despite the fact that I am actually a pretty intelligent woman. Stockholm Syndrome indeed. I am an expert at justifying things to myself, and others, when the need strikes and boy, was it ever needed then. I look back at who and what I was during that time and I’m absolutely disgusted at my husband for doing what he did to our marriage and family, but moreso at myself for even thinking that this was ok, to “convert” to Islam (which of course only allowed the subjugation of myself to escalate) even if it was only superficial, in an effort to cope.

    I read 411 and the women there are pretty intelligent too. It is truly remarkable how those otherwise perfectly normal and reasonable women are sucked into this and spout off all the “we have no will but that of Allah swt” and perpetrate the oppression of their sisters. It’s remarkable, yes, but it’s what and who I was not too long ago.

    I see Laila (aka Cupcake) is speaking about going back to her Sikh roots. I was more than a little surprised to read that. Jenny made a great point in the midst of a heated argument over there where she said she wouldn’t convert to Islam based on the behavior of its ambassadors – Ana and the other extremists. They’ve been on a roll lately 😛 I can’t help but wonder what my input would have been had I continued to be part of the cabal. Thankfully I came to my senses!

  5. Unchained, Thanks for sharing your experiences with the world. I hope women going through similar life situations read and get inspired by you. I don’t know any polygynous women personally but i am sure many women silently suffer without reaching out to get support because of the stigma related to polygamy in democratic countries. Many women like Laila (aka Cupcake) who are converts, their relationship with their own families gets affected a lot and they lose all or most of their friends and family support. I think her husband tolerates her dominating and independent nature (to some extent, he doesn’t like her elaborating Sikh/punjabi festivals) just because she is 20 years younger and i have heard she is with this man since she was 19 years old! A married man with an aging wife gets a 19 year old personal wh*** in exchange for a fixed monthly allowance (excuse my language but it is what it is) why wouldn’t all men including the intelligent ones support Sharia law. Then these second wives act all innocent and surprised that why this man’s first aging wife is so mad and is trying everything to make their life hell!

  6. After reading these blogs i sometimes wonder if my colleague who wears Hijab can be polygynous! She is a very soft spoken and nice person but doesn’t talk much except sometimes mention about her many kids (4 or 5). She married very young and might be same age or a year or two older than me (I don’t have any kids yet). Hijab reminded me of something. I had 3 different Muslim roommates over many years during college (in a US university). All of them let their boyfriends stay in their rooms for looong time even overnight. These women were unmarried and wore Hijab. It was a big surprise for me especially because none of my non-Muslim roommates ever let their bfs stay overnight in their rooms. One thing is clear these women did not believe in Hellfire 🙂

    Currently the talk on polygamy411 is Hellfire. Ana explained the horrors of Hellfire as given in Quran and says that she want to follow all of what Allah tells people to follow including polygyny because she is scared of Hellfire! Reading a little bit about these women shows that many of them come from broken families or abusive childhood. I hear someone say her mom has x number of divores (x was more than 3) Ana i think said she was abused by her stepfather (I am pretty sure i read this i one of her comments). I am not saying all kids from those families turn out to be like Ana and such but i see that those situations might have some role to play in them converting and not believing in what their families believed.

    Ana keeps repeating over and over again how important it is to read Quran and follow QURAN ONLY. Why does she and other Quran followers fail to understand these lines “You shall hand over to the ORPHANS* their rightful properties. Do not substitute the bad for the good, and do not consume their properties by combining them with yours. This would be a gross injustice. If you fear that you will not be equitable towards the ORPHANS*, then you may marry their mothers. You may marry two, three, or four.”
    How hard is it to understand that an “If …. then…” means conditional statement hence polygyny isn’t permitted for all its permitted under special conditions.

  7. Aye, there’s the rub!! I’ll never understand it either. Nor how islamic leaders have gotten away with making this warped interpretation normal.

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