I feel like an idiot for writing and an even worse idiot because of the situation I’m in.
I met a woman 5 years ago, a wonderful woman my fantasy woman you might say. I love her to death. She knows every part of me and loves me just the way I am. She has made me happier than I ever thought possible. I feel like I have found my home by loving her.
When we met she was on the rebound from a long relationship. She told me everything about it, I could understand how hurt she was because this guy had chosen a job abroad before her. They broke up bad.
We have been married for 3,5 years, the best years of my life. We had a baby girl almost two years ago.
Now she tells me her former boy friend is back and she still loves him. Not more than me, but as much she says. She wants us both. She says she loves me and won’t leave me but she can’t give him up again so she wants us both. She is forcing me to live polygamy – just like you describe all these women.
I feel so powerless and so stupid, ashamed and disgusted and hateful. I could kill her boyfriend. Sometimes I feel like I could kill her! The problem is I love her. I love her just the same. And she’s the mother of my child, I could never take them from each other.
So I let it happen. I share her and I am dying inside because of it. Please help me. //Stupid Ass
Answer: Dear Stupid Ass,
You are not stupid! Nor are you, as far as I can tell, an ass.
You are trapped, just like so many of us. You are a crack whore. No offense, I’m a crack whore too. All of us who stay in a relationship because we are willing to prostitute ourselves to get an injection of love from our spouse are crack whores. All of us who’d rather stay and be raped and abused than give up on our habit are crack whores. This is how it works. This is why polygamy survives.
My advice is, focus on what you want. What does your future look like when you envision it? Are you willing to keep sharing? Is there anyway you can keep your half of happiness and add another half somehow?
What would be best for your daughter? What kind of influence will your wife’s new husband be in her life?
Do you love your wife more than you hate her?
Would you be happier without her?
Divorce is not always a failure! Divorce can be a new beginning.
Good luck ❤