Like, one of my spouses took me to a really fancy restaurant for our anniversary. He had pre ordered everything, we had the best table, my favourite wine.. It was fantastic. And then he said he had always wanted to take me there ever since we walked past it once and talked about how wonderful it would be to go there to celebrate something. He asked me if I was happy to finally go. I said yes. It was such a wonderful surprise. The thing is, I had talked about it with my other spouse too, and he had taken me there the year before. I chose not to tell. I pretended I had never been. A typical white lie. The kind of lie that is unavoidable in polygamy. Most of the time it’s about small things.
Sometimes it’s about big things. Things like who is my favorite, whom do I love more. I hate those lies really, but we tell them in monogamous marriage too – don’t we? We want our partners to feel special, beautiful and loved.
Mark tells me he has told #2 that he will never divorce me. He says she exploded when he told her there was no way that was going to change. She screamed, cried and threw things at him. She said it was keeping her a prisoner i Oman. Mark says he offered her talaq again, but she refused. Adamantly. Instead, she demanded he renegotiate with me, give her more visits, time and money. He tried to explain to her that it’s not only for me to decide, he has a job and he can’t up and leave whenever she wants him in Oman. Obviously she is having problems understanding this.
I won’t give him any more money to go to Oman, not if I can help it.
Mark tells me that he also told her he can not have children. Strangely, this doesn’t seem to have affected her as much. She just said it’s just as well since she doesn’t want to be stuck in Oman alone with a child. I can understand that, but I’m still surprised. I would have thought she would want a child so she could use it to hurt me, and to blackmail my first husband emotionally and financially. Strange that. I need to think about it.
I have been having such a wonderful time with Mark. We have been so close, talking and talking, wrapped up in our old fourposter that I inherited from my grandmother. 🙂 He bought me a beautiful little golden butterfly locket, and today we’re going shopping for a bracelet to put it in.
He’s home and I am happy.
Tonight, I’m going back to Graham. I want to tell him how much I love him, how much I’ve missed him. How extremely grateful I am to have him in my life.