Thank you for allowing men too on your website. I have looked many times for blogs for men but I haven’t found any welcoming places where all views are welcome.
I want to ask a question and I know many of you will be angry with me and it is allright I can understand but I still need advice.
I married a second wife a little over a year ago. My first wife was very upset and sad but she accepted it finally because I explained how important it was to me to have a large family and I promised I would never love her less. I don’t love her less, I love her more. But the reality is that two families takes a lot of time. I have not been able to keep all my promises to my first wife. I promised I would never take time from her half and give to second but I have had to do that many times because I little daughter has a hear condition and is often ill and in hospital and our son is too young to be alone. My children by my first wife are all healthy. So I have been spending a lot more time with my second wife and family. Now my first wife has stopped complaining about it and that makes me nervous. I am afraid she will stop loving me because I can not give her her time and maybe she believes I love my second wife more. The truth is that all the time I have to spend with my second family makes me love and miss my first wife more. My first wife is definitely my favorite and I am very afraid of losing her.
All you women with experience of us men and our shortcomings, how can I compensate my wife? How can I make her feel better and how can I pay her back for her patience? What would be a woman’s secret wish? I would do anything except leave my second family because I love them very much and my children need me.
Thank you very much, Peace
Why not ask her? There’s usually nothing a wife appreciates more than honesty from her husband. Tell her what you have said here. That you know you have let her down, that you know that you haven’t been able to be fair, that you love her very much. That she is your favourite. Ask her if there is anything you can do.
To be perfectly frank with you, you must be prepared for an unwelcome answer. She might say that the only thing you can give her that she really wants is a divorce. Should that be the case, you must give it to her. You can’t force a woman to live with a polygamous husband unless it’s her free choice.
Maybe that’s the best thing you can give her. Her freedom. Might be the best thing for the sick child too. Why should her mother be alone with all that responsibility while you are off making love to your first wife, trying to compensate her for spending too much time with your sick child?
I know I’m being harsh, but you asked for my opinion. This is it.
Maybe somebody else has better advice to offer?