He can only be away for a week, but they knew that all along, that’s not of my doing. So now, I have done what I can. I even managed to tell him I’m happy for them.
My husband looks like a huge weight has been lifted from his shoulders. He Skyped her yesterday, and when he returned to the conservatory I could tell how happy he was feeling. Good. He needed something to look forward to. I know he misses her. In a way, I’m glad he does. I mean, it really would have been awful if he had put us all through this and then not really cared for the girl.
But I do have a stone in my stomach now. I had gotten used to having him all to my self. Now I have to share again. Honestly, the instinctive reaction is proof enough that people aren’t really supposed to share the people they love and share intimacy with!
I saw an episode of Friends the other day, where Joe’s father shows up with a mistress and Joe forces him to come clean with Joe’s mum. Turns out the mum knew everything all ready but had chosen to turn a blind eye. She says “He used to be a miserable grump. I couldn’t stand him. Since he met her, he’s been happy. And because he’s been feeling guilty, he has been more loving, more gentle and more romantic than ever. Now, I like things the way they are”. But still she says, she wishes she could have had that husband without having to share him with a woman who stuffs animals… 😉 I know just how she feels!
Maybe the loving, tender and attentive facade of husbands, brought on by the immense feelings of guilt any sane polygynous man must feel, is one of the reasons why women stay in polygamy?
I will try to be supportive, try to show my first husband I am happy for him. But I can tell you, if it hadn’t been for Graham I would have been dying right now.