I am however not required to love them equally or share intimacy with them equally.
According to islam, allah granted the polygamous spouse the right to love one spouse more, to have a favorite, to have as much sex with one spouse as you want as long as you have sex with the other spouse every four months.
I am also allowed to show favoritism, as long as I don’t leave the other one completely hanging or abandoned.
Just and fair in polygamy means spending equally and sharing nights equally. Nothing more. I am not required to love equally, show affection equally, share secrets equally or enjoy intimacy equally.
“This is my division in what I own, so do not blame me for what You own and I do not own” – my heart, my soul my love.
Do I have a favorite? I think all polygamous spouses have a favorite. It’s unavoidable. I do however favour different qualities in both my husbands, and I love them both. But I can’t feel guilty because I find sex with one of them more enjoyable, or because I like going to the cinema with one, but prefer going to art museums with the other. That I love to do different things with my husbands, that I love different things in them is of course one of the reasons why I choose to be polygamous.
So having a favourite, wanting a favourite, is actually at the heart of polygamy.
And this is of course why men have made sure that it is allowed to have a favorite spouse.