How does a First Wife Really feel about her Husband when he has Married a Second?

S%C3%A9pulcre_Arc-en-Barrois_111008_12Question: Could you please tell me honestly how does a first wife feel about her husband after he has married a second wife? Everybody tells me it will be good, I will learn to see my husband again the way I used to and soon everything will be normal. But I have a feeling this is not true. I am feeling already my feelings changing, and I think when he has married I will never feel again for him as I used to. I would very much need an honest answer even if a hurtful one!



No, things will never be all well again. You will never feel the same about your husband again. You will feel:

* Hatred. You will be hurt. The pain and suffering is beyond words and it never ends. You will hate him for doing this to you. Every time you need him and he isn’t there you will hate him. Every time he hurts you by talking about her you will hate him. Every time he leaves you to be with her you will hate him. Every time he comes back from her and expects you to welcome him back you will hate him. Every time you see your children suffer because their father is polygamous, you will hate him.

* Disgust. You will see him with her in your mind. Over and over again. You will feel her on his body. You will know every time he comes home and smells of soap that he has performed ghusl after having had sex with her. You will be disgusted by the fact that he will be having sex with her, wanting her, when he could have been having sex with you. You will be demanding he brushes his teeth again when he comes home because you can’t kiss him with her bacteria in his mouth.

* Mistrust You can’t trust him. He has let you down in the worst way possible. You are no longer his main priority, you are no longer his main investment. Your children won’t be his most important love and asset. He will no longer do anything for you and the children. You are not to him what he is to you. And you can’t tell him any secrets any more. And you can never ask him what he did yesterday, if he has seen that movie, why he suddenly loves new food, if he can attend your son’s football match. He is not half a husband. He is half a stranger.

* Contempt. You will despise him because he will not be able to be just. He will not be able to fulfill your needs, or even your rights. You will despise his weakness, the way he let his base desires cause you and your children this irrevicable pain. You will despise him because of the inevitable lies. You will despise his selfishness. You will despise the fact that polygamy clearly shows all men’s deficiencies, weaknesses and faults.

* Pain. The sight of him will cause you pain. Everything he does, says or thinks will cause you pain. His deserting your children will cause you pain. His leaving will cause you pain, his coming back will cause you pain, he will be pain, every breath will be pain. And all this pain is brought on you, simply because your husband feels it is his right to fuck another woman.

This is what you will really feel about your husband when he has married a second wife.

Let nobody fool you into believing otherwise.

And let nobody fool your husband into believing otherwise.

2 thoughts on “How does a First Wife Really feel about her Husband when he has Married a Second?

  1. Thank you for answer. This is what I am afraid. I feel I might feel like this, many of these feelings are already coming to me and he has not married second yet but soon will. I am afraid of speaking of this because everybody says it is only bad and weak women who cant live with polygamy. My husband believes everything will be good again after a couple of weeks and I ask him if he is ready to lose my love and he says no and says I should not think so much just live my life the way I have he simply doesnt understand that everything will change and I can not love him anymore. When he sleeps I look at him and hate him. He is doing this to me and I am destroying inside and he sleeps and is happy. I ask him if he would not be full of pain if it was me marrying and he laughs and says that it is not the same because he is a man and I am a woman and he would kill anybody who even looked at me. Then I ask if he then can not understand my hurt but he just says women are meant to share and he is man enough for many women. I believe in you Fiona. I must speak to an imam and prepare for divorce. When my husband is marrying again I will not stay his wife.

  2. this is true.i love him still but i feel all this also. he is so hurt and feels i am unjust but this is what i feel and i can’t be blamed for what is in my heart.

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