Compulsion in Polygamy

MosqueThere is no compulsion in islam.

Still, thousands of women are forced to live polygamy against their will. Some of them are refused divorce by sharia courts who don’t think polygamy is a valid reason for a woman to want divorce, since polygamy is allowed. Others because they would loose their children if they left. Others because they have no means of survival outside marriage. Others again because divorce is considered a shame in many cultures and a woman can be ostracized or even killed by her family if she asks for a divorce.

But there is another kind of compulsion in polygamy too, I am told.

Polygamy of compulsion.

This is how a muslim scholar explains it:

It is your own fault that your husband doesn’t appear happy at home, shouts or becomes violent. This is because you don’t look after your husband and children properly; you don’t take care of the house properly. Come morning and the woman is out in the street, and that too without hijab, talking and laughing. In the afternoon the husband returns home only to find a dirty house, a dirty wife and dirty children. There is no trace of any lunch. When faced with this situation, he is forced to consider re-marriage. He thinks that, perhaps, the second wife will keep his home; the children and herself clean, and prepare meals on time. When he re- marries, the first wife starts crying.

Ladies! Don’t become the cause of your own misfortune! If you make yourself a good housewife, take care of your husband, children and home properly, there will be no reason for your husband to re-marry. Times are such that the husband can barely afford one wife, how will he support the second wife. Inspite of this if he re-marries, it is your own fault – you neglected to look after him, forcing him to re-marry. This is termed as marriage of compulsion. (Source: http://www.al-islam.org/islamicfamily-life/16.htm)

Women are forcing their husbands to marry a second wife. If the husband comes home in the afternoon and no dinner is ready, he has no alternative but to marry a second wife. If the wife goes out and spends some time with her friends, she is forcing her poor husband to remarry because he might come home and the house hasn’t been hoovered that day. The poor guy has no other way out then to run off and get himself another wife. Even though he can’t afford it.

It’s your own fault if your husband has to marry a second wife!

It is your own fault if your husband shouts and becomes violent, if he uses his permission to beat you!

If you ever claim the right to have friends, you will neglect your husband and he must marry more wives. If you ever go for a walk your husband might come home and your not around for him to have sex. He might have to wait ten minutes, maybe even half an hour. Can’t you see that forces him to get another wife? Or three? And what if you ever did something for yourself and skipped cooking for a day. What if your husband comes home and there is no warm dinner!? Of course, he has no choice but to marry another wife. Or two or three.

It’s your own fault if your husband is forced to re-marry!

Doesn’t it just break your heart, all these muslim men who are forced by their wives to re-marry, to suffer in polygyny?

2 thoughts on “Compulsion in Polygamy

  1. It is sad beyond words that there are people who want to add burden to suffering like this. Not only is a woman’s heart bleeding from having her husband marry a second wife, when she looks for help and comfort in islamic forums, she has to find this. Male scholars adding blame and insult to the pain. It makes me so sad. I ask forgiveness from all women who are faced by this. This is not islam. This is male chauvinism. Can you picture the Prophet writing something like this? No. It is sad that people should believe this is islam.

  2. dear Jenn,
    pls dont be sad so much. actually only blind people such as u believe. Not us, especially not me. Practising Islam is not a problem here, but following everything blindly is the cause for all these miserys. Anyone with logical mind would think twice before takes decision to follow or being adherent to some ideas, this applies also to the religion we follows. But the problem in Islam today is their majority followers are blinded with tiz fanatic way of life but being munafiq all the time. Yes, i would say munafiq because even by heart they know things are wrong especially many things in the quran, are wrongly interpreted, but the believers are still upholding it like tomorrow never dies.
    It would be really beautiful if islamic brotha/sista hoods could stop giving lame excuses on the name of Islam and start telling the truth…!

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