The writer had found a post on the same topic he thought was very shallow, I suppose it was focused on beauty and sexiness. So this writer instead wanted to focus on what was important to him, which obviously is religion. He wanted a woman who was a practising muslim and who would hence regard him as her head and godgiven leader. (A woman must submit to her husband and the writer found it disgusting that some women actually think for themselves when choosing a husband, which the writer calls giving in to shaytan.) The problem is, he also wanted her to be intelligent. But then he defined intelligent as being able to discuss islam with him, so fine, maybe that’s doable.
Anyway, his list – that said the woman must be intelligent, pious, regard him as her superior, beautiful (although he’d rather she was a niqabi or at least a hijabi since he wants to own her beauty and stamp her as awrah) and preferably able to cook made me stop and think: What do I look for in a man?
1. He must be confidant and secure in himself. I want a man who would consider it a compliment if a gay bartender flirted with him. Someone who is manly enough to be proud of that – not threatened by it. A man who would be secure in treating a woman as a god given equal.
2. He must be intelligent. Intelligent enough to know that the person who should lead in a relationship or in a family is the one with the best ideas and the strongest conviction – and this can alter with the situation. A man who instinctively understands that leadership is a question of qualities, not of gender or race.
3. He must have a great sense of humour. He must have the ability to laugh at himself.
4. He must be a liberal who believes in democracy, individual freedom, absolute equality and basic human rights for all. If he happens to be religious too, well fine I don’t mind. As long as he can laugh at Life of Brian, Dave Allen and the Danish drawings of Muhammad.
5. He must see it as a natural thing that cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, tending crying babies at night, staying at home with the children, doing the laundry et.c. are chores husband and wife take turns doing. He would be willing to be a stay at home dad to allow his wife to have a career.
6. I must find him attractive. He must also be an attentive lover who takes great pleasure in pleasing his woman.
7. If I am smarter than him, have a better job and career than him, earn more than him, am beautiful in the eyes of other men – he must be able to take pride in this – not feel threatened or diminished by it.
So – if you’re all that – fancy becoming #3?? 😉