Living in a country where this is HIS right, not yours, certainly doesn’t help. It will add insult and helplessness to the betrayal. You have no rights. You are not equal. You must not only fight loneliness, depression and jealousy, you must also fight the notion that your husband is a degree above you, that he has rights that you don’t – that you are inferior.
A muslim man not only believes that he is superior and holds superior rights, he will see it as his right and duty to humiliate his wife too, by teaching her how to react to his betrayal. When the husband comes home and drops the bomb that he is going to marry a second wife, or indeed already has, he is not only saying that you must share him for the rest of your life, that you must allow and watch him fall in love with somebody else, that you must teach your children that it is ok for dad to leave them to go fuck another woman, that you must allow him to make love to another woman and for ever go between you and her, carrying her scent, her touch and her bacteria into your bed. He is also saying that if you object, if you are hurting – this is your fault. Your pain is due, not to his action, but to your selfishness, your low deen, your lack of religion.
“Be thankful to Allah, before He takes back all the good things that He has been giving you.”
This was the answer a first wife got when she finally broke down and told her husband she couldn’t live with polygamy, she couldn’t stand the jealousy and heartbreak, she couldn’t stand the pain in her children’s eyes every time their father left and their mother cried.
How did she react to this answer?
When hubby returned home from overseas with her, I was ridden with jealousy. I tried everything that I could think of to overcome it, but I was overwhelmed. So I lost the battle and somehow I blurted out to him to say how jealous I felt since she got to have private time with him (she doesn’t have kids with him), while I had to share his time with the kids. (Actually earlier this year he brought us to a much better place and for a much longer duration)
He kept quiet for while before finally said, “Be thankful to Allah, before He takes back all the good things that He has been giving you.”
It hit me right away.
How can I be so ungrateful to Him? (Source:Polygamy411.com)
This is how a muslim husband is allowed by religion to treat his wife, his children. And while his wife is crying, trying to help and comfort their children, the husband goes off to spend his time falling in love and fucking his new juicy wife, where no children yet can disturb his wonderful new sex life. To enjoy his god given right to fuck a new woman while destroying the life of his first wife and children. And muslim women are taught to submit. If she doesn’t, and her husband is angry with her, the angels will curse her.
The husband doesn’t feel guilty, the husband has done nothing wrong. Polygyny is his right, if his family is hurting it’s because they are selfish. And in islam, this is considered the right approach, the right thing.
But islam protects the rights of women. And Brutus is an honourable man.