Be Thankful Allah Only took Half Your Husband From You

En_boca_cerrada_no_entran_moscasPolygamy is extremely painful. Especially if your spouse becomes polygamous against your will, or behind your back.

Living in a country where this is HIS right, not yours, certainly doesn’t help. It will add insult and helplessness to the betrayal. You have no rights. You are not equal. You must not only fight loneliness, depression and jealousy, you must also fight the notion that your husband is a degree above you, that he has rights that you don’t – that you are inferior.

A muslim man not only believes that he is superior and holds superior rights, he will see it as his right and duty to humiliate his wife too, by teaching her how to react to his betrayal. When the husband comes home and drops the bomb that he is going to marry a second wife, or indeed already has, he is not only saying that you must share him for the rest of your life, that you must allow and watch him fall in love with somebody else, that you must teach your children that it is ok for dad to leave them to go fuck another woman, that you must allow him to make love to another woman and for ever go between you and her, carrying her scent, her touch and her bacteria into your bed. He is also saying that if you object, if you are hurting – this is your fault. Your pain is due, not to his action, but to your selfishness, your low deen, your lack of religion.

“Be thankful to Allah, before He takes back all the good things that He has been giving you.”

This was the answer a first wife got when she finally broke down and told her husband she couldn’t live with polygamy, she couldn’t stand the jealousy and heartbreak, she couldn’t stand the pain in her children’s eyes every time their father left and their mother cried.

How did she react to this answer?

When hubby returned home from overseas with her, I was ridden with jealousy. I tried everything that I could think of to overcome it, but I was overwhelmed. So I lost the battle and somehow I blurted out to him to say how jealous I felt since she got to have private time with him (she doesn’t have kids with him), while I had to share his time with the kids. (Actually earlier this year he brought us to a much better place and for a much longer duration)

He kept quiet for while before finally said, “Be thankful to Allah, before He takes back all the good things that He has been giving you.”

It hit me right away.

How can I be so ungrateful to Him? (

This is how a muslim husband is allowed by religion to treat his wife, his children. And while his wife is crying, trying to help and comfort their children, the husband goes off to spend his time falling in love and fucking his new juicy wife, where no children yet can disturb his wonderful new sex life. To enjoy his god given right to fuck a new woman while destroying the life of his first wife and children. And muslim women are taught to submit. If she doesn’t, and her husband is angry with her, the angels will curse her.

The husband doesn’t feel guilty, the husband has done nothing wrong. Polygyny is his right, if his family is hurting it’s because they are selfish. And in islam, this is considered the right approach, the right thing.

But islam protects the rights of women. And Brutus is an honourable man.

7 thoughts on “Be Thankful Allah Only took Half Your Husband From You

  1. Who is really to blame?

    The man for being such a self righteous, selfish, sexist bastard,

    or the woman who puts up with it, takes pride in her own victimization, and sells her kids out?

    Or maybe the woman who marries this jerk even though he has wife and kids already?

  2. What is wrong with being grateful? What is wrong with being patient? What is wrong with rather being generous and sharing than selfish? Why are you talking badly of these women? Every woman who gladly shares her husband and gives to her sister will be rewarded. is it wrong to want such reward? If the husband is unfair he will be punished for this and also if he neglects his children. But if these women want to share it is not for you to say they are wrong. I think.

  3. Hi Fiona, I just stumbled across your blog. I am really enjoying your posts. I have noticed a lot of negative statements you have made about Islam. I was raised in the Bible Belt and I know of Evangelical Christians who display some of the very same attitudes. What’s more, while living in NYC, I befriended Atheists who had major issues regarding lies and adultery in their relationships. I think you are focusing a lot on Islam but the real issues here are character, culture, and lifestyle choices. Lastly, you decided to marry a man who is of this faith. He didn’t hide his religion, ethnic, or cultural background from you. You keep stating in your posts that you are of means, you are a home-owner, and you have more money than your husband. So why are you still with this man? It is obvious you don’t agree with his actions and you clearly don’t like the religion he follows. So why stay? Why not just be with Graham or be single again?

  4. Hello, and welcome!

    As for why I stay with my husband, I tried to answer that question at some length a while ago, you can find the answer here:

    ” Lastly, you decided to marry a man who is of this faith. He didn’t hide his religion, ethnic, or cultural background from you. ” In a way you are right – I knew my husband was muslim. But he was muslim an a very un religious way, the way most people in the UK today are “christians”. He wasn’t practising. He never prayed, went to the mosque, read the quran or anything. He celebrated christmas and dressed up as the easter bunny… As for his cultural background, I knew his father was from Oman. But his mother is from the UK and my husband has lived here ever since he started school at 6. So, I actually always thought of him as British.

    I know a lot of christian men also suffer from a superiority complex. I know a lot of atheist men do too. Fine. Let somebody else settle that score. I choose to speak about my own life, my own experiences. Thanks for posting!

  5. Wael,
    I don’t recall anyone on this blog, blog owner and respondants alike, saying that there is anything wrong with gratitude, patience, and generosity. Those are universal virtues. No one is “talking badly” of these women. If you saw that in the writing, it is in your own perspective.

    You said: “Every woman who gladly shares her husband and gives to her sister will be rewarded”. That is a religious belief for many people, women and men alike, and you obviously share it. Nothing is stopping you from living out that life, and garnishing the reward that you believe is due to you.

    Then you said: “is it wrong to want such reward?” Why would you be asking someone who does not share that belief if there is something wrong with it? Wael, you are asking that question of the wrong person. Do you believe that someone who does not share your belief has the capacity to answer your question? If you have any questions about the details of you own belief, I suggest seeking out knowledgeable guidance.

  6. Do you think this man ever stops to think what he has taken from his wife? Do you think a man like this feels any guilt at all?

  7. Woman of the world:
    Does your question relate to Wael? The man who wrote in at 4:49 PM on July 31st? As far as Wael is concerned, I think you are asking your question from a different vantage point, and so it isn’t really possible to say yes or no.

    My impression is that Wael is concentrating on a set of beliefs, most of which are future oriented, and involve the concept of the after life, not present circumstances, which in Islam, are viewed as ephemeral. (Which they are.) Insofar as he would think about his wives’ happiness, he believes that her happiness comes from meeting his needs, and following his guidance. So he views himself not as taking anything from his wives but as giving them what they need, thus fueling their happiness.

    That’s my impression of Wael, and a lot of other Muslim men, and Muslim women too. I do agree with some of the writers here that there are many practicing Muslims who don’t think exactly like this. But they don’t get a lot of publicity, and for the most part are intimidated by more strident and outspoken Muslims.

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