I’m so happy to have found this blog, not that I have anything to do with polygamy, but I was looking into the subject just to gain insight and came across polygamy 411, it made my blood boil! And I’m Muslim lol, not because I don’t think polygamy is allowed, but the polygamy they talk about is ridiculous. I remember seeing your comments and your story was so interesting, then she blocked you. Obviously although I don’t think a woman should be polygamous, tbh in this day and age I don’t think a man should either, but how you dealt with things is a breath of fresh air, and you can tell karma definitely got your husband. Does he regret polygamy now?
I think it’s pretty clear he loves you more, being infatuated with #2 is different, she is new and young, that’s natural but I don’t think he loves her anywhere near as much as you. Do you think the reason he stays in his second marriage is cause you are polygamous too and he doesn’t want to seem less manly so to speak? I really don’t get why he became polygamous to start off with, but maybe you’re right, he became brainwashed into believing it would be something it is not, even for your own marriage, from the way he loves you I highly doubt he ever really wanted to hurt you. Do you think he loves her enough not to leave her and move on?
Sorry so many questions, just really intrigued!
One of the best things about questions, is that they force me to study my own life, and come up with answers that help me along. Thank you very much for contributing to that!
Does my husband regret polygamy now? I have asked him many times. He says that if he could do it over, he would never never ever choose polygamy again. But he says that as things are, he finds it difficult to regret finding a woman he actually loves (hm..) and finding new love in new ways with me. He says that he regrets having hurt me the way he did. He knows he can never really heal the wounds and scars he’s given me. And he regrets having hurt his children. This, I know, is the worst part for him, he can hardly talk about it. You know, our son has denounced him, lives his life as if his father were dead. This is heartbreaking to my husband who is finally starting to realize that this may never alter, he may never get his son back.
My husband has just had a huge discussion with his #2. She is making a lot of trouble, and is having problems with respecting our agreements. Much of it is based on her cultural background, she can’t get it into her head that I own our house, I own most of our money, that my Husband can’t order me about and that I am free to come and go as I please.
I think he stays with her because he it’s an honour thing. He feels responsible. But I think he loves her in a way too. I agree with you, he doesn’t love her the way he loves me. But she treats him like he were Caesar, she adores him and looks up to him. It appeals to him. And he obviously finds her attractive too. And Graham is part of it too. It’s a power thing. As long as he has #2, my husband feels he has something that’s all his not mine – it balances things. I can understand that.
I think she’s more likely to leave him, than v.v. And with her being reliant on him for her survival, that’s not gonna happen… 😦
So, it looks like we’re stuck in this cobweb..
Hope to hear from you again! Love, F