It turns out there are many men out there feeling lonely and devastated in their polygamous marriages.
It all starts out with dreams.
These men are often happily married. They enjoy being doted on, obeyed and admired by their wives, the way husbands often are in cultures where polygamy occurs. They often enjoy a good sex life with their wives.
In these cultures, male-female interaction is often scarce and restricted and sex is wrapped up in forbidden, exciting and intoxicating taboos. In the West, men and women are used to speaking freely and openly about sex and can easily find healthy out lets for their sexual desires. In muslim countries however, a spouse is the only way to have all your sexuality out, and since the forbidden fruit is always more attractive, and since all the voodoo and taboos around sex turn sex into an obsession with people, a lot of young men start thinking about polygamy.
If sex with my wife is good, why not have another wife? I would have twice as much sex, I would be able to see another woman’s body, I would finally know if sex is different with different women, I could imagine one wife while I fuck the other, I could have sex with both of them on the same day, sex. sex, sex, sex…
Once a man finds himself in this place, he will start looking for advice, answers…
Islamic websites will tell him it’s his right to marry up to four wives. They will tell him that he need not ask his first wife’s permission nor even tell her about the second marriage until it’s done. They will tell him it is good for the man, good for the ummah if he marries plural women and has lots of children, as long as he can provide for them.
And then comes the worst part. They will tell him that women are different from men.
They will tell him that although his first wife may at first feel a little anger, maybe sadness, this will soon revert into happiness to have a sister wife, and an increase in deen once the first wife realizes that sharing is caring and she must want for her sister what she wants for herself. They will tell him that as soon as this happens, the first wife will love him more than before and be happier and more religious than before.
They will tell him that women don’t think about sex the same way men do. They will say that if a woman is jealous, it’s only because she loves her husband so much and is afraid of losing him. If the husband just makes it clear to her that although he has married a second wife he will never leave his first, the first wife will be all good again. She will be better than before.
Many men have told me that the imams, and other “brothers” have told the would be polygamous man that first wives become horny when their men marry again. They will start to compete sexually, so sex becomes hotter and more frequent than ever. They say that first wives will admire a man more when he has proven himself attractive to another woman. They say that having two or more wives is sexually intoxicating, a great adventure of everlasting sex of great variety while having several wives submitting to your desires, competing to take care of your every need….
So – the men go off and find themselves a second wife.
After a while, they discover that what they were told were lies.
The first wife never recovers. She is disgusted by her husband. Their friendship is gone, she no longer trusts him. Even if she eventually returns to his bed, they may have sex but the intimacy is gone. Her happiness in him is gone. Their marriage as it was is dead. His second wife, who was so sweet and satisfied, is nagging him, grudging every minute he spends with his first wife, back stabbing, manipulating. His first wife cries and awakes with panic attacks in the night. Nobody wants to have sex with him. They lie still under him and let him have his way.
His children by his first wife won’t recognize him when he’s spent a week with #2, if they are small. If they are big, they will hate him for what he did, and is doing, to their mother.
The children of #2 will grow up hating him for forcing them to live with half a dad, a dad who will not be there when they need him the most, for making their mother cry.
When the husband is sick, he still has to rotate between the wives. When his daughter graduates, he is with the other wife. When his son is ill, he is with the other wife. When he is told his mother died, he is with the wife who didn’t like her. When his first wife is in hospital, he has leave her to give #2 her conjugal rights. When he is old and tired, he still has to keep rotating. And nowhere is a woman who loves him entirely, trusts him and confides in him.
When some other young man asks him “What’s it like to have two wives” he will say it’s great, lots of sex and the women compete for your attention! Because he doesn’t want to seem like less a man.
So the honey trap is set once again.