Will I be Punished for Getting Back at my Polygamous Husband? Q&A

Source:Wikimedia Commons

Source:Wikimedia Commons

Question: Salam

I am an ordinary woman but I have done something and I never thought I would find somebody to talk to about it so I was so happy and overjoyed to find this blog.

My husband took a second wife a couple years ago. He tried to be very just about it, made sure to tell me how much he loves me and he has let me know before they married that he was doing it. He has also been good and kept her outside our marriage and he has tried to help me when it has been most difficult and hard.

I have tried but I can’t forgive my husband or feel for him what I used to. I can understand if he is attracted to another woman but I will prefer if he has a mistress. Now he just said I must give half of him up and I must accept it is halal and a test for me. I believe this is not true and men have made these rules.

Some time ago I got to know one of our neighbours a very kind man who is widow. He and I started talking sometimes and I cried once and told him how lonely I am because my man married another and is gone so much. This man understood and we have now been together for some months. We are together when my husband is with his second wife. I have no children and I can be with this man without hurting anybody. I don’t really love him but I like him and feel good with him. But in truth I am also getting back at my husband.

Will I be punished for this? I know you are not a religious woman but you seem so knowing and smart. Do you think I am doing wrong? I am more happy now and my husband is too because he believes I am acceptin his new marriage. Isn’t this something good? It doesn’t feel like zina because I am not unfaithful on my husbands days. I would be very happy to have comment and help. Kind regards.

Answer: No you will not be punished. You are not committing zina since you are not cheating, you are simply using time your husband has given up. You are not breaking any vows since your husband was the one to make your marriage polygamous. You are not committing any kind of sin since you are not causing any harm. You are giving love and happiness and receiving, and nobody is hurt by it. I am happy for you.

5 thoughts on “Will I be Punished for Getting Back at my Polygamous Husband? Q&A

  1. Salam,

    Listen am all about women speaking about polygamy in such athat is unfair because Allah hs already told us it will be.But My friend you are doing something wrong,its harm.Why can you just leave your disrespcetive,selfish excuse of husband,and get with this other brother halal fashion.Do not disrespect your honour ,and let your husband make you do something that is against your Lord,he is not worth it.So I say ask for Khul,the waiting period is one month,than get married ,that should show him, hwoever, sister do not lower yourself for this pathic stupid men.

  2. I too think you should divorce show your husband that he can not have the cookie and eat it also. If you do not love this other man than do not marry him. I know it can be scary to leave a marriage but believe me – there is a good man out there for you if you go look. There are so many men in the west who are lonely because women dont want to marry they work instead or are cheating and divorcing. I tell you that if a good women wanted to find husbands in the west countries she could easily find two… šŸ˜‰

  3. This is harmful to you and your husband. Don’t listen to a woman of no faith. You must understand how much sin this is and you must repent and stop from sinning. A woman who is adulterous should be put to death.

  4. Well Amir, what do you say we let the person without sin throw the first stone?

  5. I think this is one and the only way to be happy in a polygamous marriage because in today’s world everything is based on the principle of give and take and also equality….
    Be happy because its your right to be happy and if its not at the cost of someone’s happiness, you are doing nothing wrong!!

    Well How’s your life going on at the moment??
    Take care

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