Is it my Right to Divorce my Husband when he takes Another Wife?

imagesIn islam, many scholars claim that a woman has no right to a divorce on the grounds of polygyny. Having a husband who states that he wants a new wife, or a husband who says he is marrying a new wife next week, or a husband who tells you that he married another woman last year, is not grounds for divorce. Islam thus forces women to live polygyny, making them prisoners of their husbands.

Some scholars claim that a woman can stipulate in the marriage contract that she must be allowed a divorce if her husband decides to remarry. She has no right to hinder him, but she would then have the right to divorce. Other scholars however claim that such a clause would be void, since nobody can make unlawful what allah has made lawful. So such a contract really gives a woman no rights at all.

In most muslim countries, women who want to divorce are considered sinners and social lepers. Leaving is simply not an IRL option.

Islamic websites more often than not make women responsible for the family break up, if they decide to leave husbands who marry more women, teenage girls, children of nine, and force their first wives to live most of the time alone with their babies and even with small, sick children, while they are off fucking their child brides.

Even moderate, western islamic websites put the burden on women in these cases. This is what it might sound like:

Sister, it is clear that one should not ask for a divorce as soon as her husband announces he wants to marry a second wife. If he has gone ahead with the second marriage, do your best to continue to make your marriage happy and do not create problems between him and his second wife. If you act sullenly or angrily with him, he might well divorce you.

And if you want a second husband – go ahead!! Your husband has already proven that he doesn’t give a shit about your feelings, and that he is in favour of polygamy, so go ahead! Marry somebody else! Fuck them as often as you can, as soon as you hub is out of the house! Let him know, and make sure he understands he’s not to be upset or angry since polygamy is halal, and he should not try to cause difficulties between you and your second, third or fourth husband or else you’ll divorce his ass!

If he has not yet married the second one but has only voiced his intention, you could calmly ask him to delay the decision for two or three months. He may change his mind after considering his situation, but if you react with anger he may go ahead and marry the second one immediately to get back at you.
During that interval, ask yourself if there is anything wrong with your marriage that would make him want to take a second wife. Sometimes when men say they want another wife, they really mean that they have a problem with the first. They might then take a second wife with the thought that that will make the problem better. If you find that the two of you need to work to improve your own marriage, then seek the advice of family, pious friends, or professional counselors.

Make sure your husband stays calm when you tell him you’re dating and looking for new husbands. Tell him it makes you happy, and his duty is to make you happy. If he gets angry, then go off and marry others, fuck them and make sure they give you what you want! Tell him the reason you’re looking for other men is that he’s a real sucker for a husband, no good in bed, no good at anything and your only keeping him around as a commodity. Tell him to take a cooking class, to learn how to arrange flowers, to do some kama sutra – something to make him worth while. Tell him to go to a councillor if he has a problem with any of that!

And he might not change his mind but go ahead with the second marriage. Then, my advice is as before: pray for patience and make an effort to make your marriage happy.

The best way is to have the lovers on hold, ready to go if this sucker proves himself to be such an ass! Go ahead! Marry all the husbands you want, get laid the way you want – see if your husband really is man enough to eat what he serves, and love for his brother what he loves for himself! If not – good riddance! πŸ˜€

And make sure you pray for patience brother!

9 thoughts on “Is it my Right to Divorce my Husband when he takes Another Wife?

  1. I wanted to refrain from posting since the tone here when I do is bad. But I must say that this post is unjust. Divorce is in the hand of the husband, not because women are prisoners to their husbands but so that husbands shall be able to protect them. Women are emotional and might want divorce for irrational reasons, hurting the family and regretting it. Men think carefully before divorce and only claim divorce as a last resorce, thereby protecting the family. If women were allowed divorce they would be rash and irresponsible and most times cry afterwards and want their husbands back but the men would have been hurt and maybe not trust their wives and take them back. if a man takes a second wife, the first might scream that she wants a divorce, but she will regret it when she sees how beneficial it is and that the husband continutes to be fair and love her and treat her just. This is why men can decide over divorce not women. And again it is only to protect everybody and avoid harm.

  2. Zach,

    Your post shows why no sane woman who believes in human rights and democracy can ever marry a muslim man. Thank you.

  3. I started off reading this post with curiosity… and ended up quite confused, and frankly, disappointed. To me, this reads as a rant by someone who is treating his/her writings as a way to take revenge or just let out some anger. A lot of the claims you have made stem from ignorance.

    Islam does not allow for polyandry- so basically the second half of your “advice” is illogical. Polyandry is when a women has more than one husband- and this is haram. The Quran allows for polygyny which permits a man to have more than 1 wife.

    And anyway, taking revenge would never mend a broken soul, it will only provoke further hurt, anger or unhappiness. You would hate your husband AND yourself too!

    I am not a Muslim. neither do I support polygamy really- mainly because I cannot deal with the thought of sharing my husband with anyone. But I respect those who are capable of that- and as long as the reasons for marrying another wife are just, and that the husband treats them all fairly and places them at equal pedestals, it is okay on the whole. Time to be a little less judgmental, perhaps?

  4. Hello Aishwarya Jha, and welcome!

    I am sorry if you are disappointed. You are right, I am angry. Every time somebody says that one group of people has rights another group of people is denied, it makes me angry. When somebody says one group of people should be treated differently, granted different privileges or different rights according to law, it makes me angry. Whenever one group of people claims to be superior to another group, it makes me angry. I am sorry if you find this disappointing.

    Islam does not allow for polyandry, and that makes me angry because it means one group of people is granted rights above another group of people, and often at the expense of the other group. My creed is that all people have the same value and the same rights. If you grant one group of people a right you must grant all people the same right. Monogamy for all – fine. Polygamy for all – fine. Polygamy for whites but not for blacks – no. Polygamy for men but not for women – no. Simple.

    So I am all for polygamy, you see. But it must be equal. All humans must be equal before the law and before each other, equal in opportunity – not identical. I am sorry if you find that view disappointing.

  5. Sorry, I never meant that the inequality was justified, and that’s why I found the post disappointing. It was because the post gave off the impression that Islam allowed for women to behave like that; and that you were being too judgmental about it. And then I read your earlier posts. Maybe I was being judgmental about you earlier. Your stance is justified. I don’t pity your past, but I marvel at your strength. You are one strong woman, thank you for sharing your life with the world. πŸ™‚

  6. Asalamualikum,

    I am 27 years old married girl.I have been married since 1 year and 3 months. Ours was a arranged marriage though before marriage we got a chance to know each other through email conversations and few phone calls. After marriage we stayed together for just two weeks as my husband had to resume his work overseas and I had to wait for visa. My Visa process took one year and during this one year his behavior towards me was not as it should have been. He supported me financially but he least bothered to call me. and whenever he would call he would always be in a hurry. But I always took the initiative and used to call him frequently. Since our marriage till this day he has never said that he misses me or loves me. He has never shown his love for me though we had a physical relation.
    To cut it short, after 1 year I joined my husband here in one of the Western society. Within two three days of coming here I discovered his messages of past girlfriend with whom he was still in touch but as a simple friend. Reading all those dirty talks of my husband and his ex-girlfriend broke my heart though my husband had told me before marriage that he had some relations in his past. But what annoyed me was his continuing conversations with her after marriage. since I have come here his attitude towards me has been very cold. Initially he used to go for late night parties with his male and female friends but since last two weeks he has stopped that.
    Now the issue is that I tried to talk to my husband several times but he is always not interested in discussing the issue. He says that he does not love me and has lost interest in sex life. We hardly have sex. I tried my best to save this marriage. I USED TO GIVE HIM HUGS AND KISSES but he never reciprocated. I cannot live my whole life with the fact that my husband does not love me, he always curses our marriage and never shows any affection towards me. I am a human being and I need my husband to love me, to want me and to desire me but nothing is working. Now I am thinking of divorce. Please guide me that is my decision correct?? What should I do?? Please please help me….

  7. Asin
    I have been in similar situation as husband left me for other woman.its good that you have discovered it took me 7 yrs to realize that my husband hates me,inspite of being a good wife.its been very painful for me and my family to go thru this betrayal.

  8. Dear Asin,

    you deserve someone to treat you well! If you stay with someone so cold and distant, you risk to develop patterns of believing deep inside one day that you are not loveable or worthy to be loved. If your husband cannot give the least bit of decency in his behaviour towards you, but is just cruel as you explain, there is no reason for you to stay.

    All the best to you!

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