Why Polygamy? “He Thinks About Other Women”

Johnny_Depp_1I found a ludicrous article called something like 7 things your muslim husband won’t tell you. It really is full of the worst garbage. For example the writer claims:

He Thinks About Other Women

Okay, first of all, calm down. Don’t unsubscribe from my mailing list just yet. Let me explain this.

All men think about other women.

It doesn’t mean he’s going to cheat on you.

It doesn’t mean he’s thinking about taking a second wife.

It doesn’t mean he’s fantasizing about another woman.

It just means that all (straight) men do, at some point in their lives, consider having another woman (i.e. wife).

You’re better off coming to terms with this and accepting it than having false, purile notions about men.

The best way to combat these thoughts are to apply the advice given in the first three secrets:

  • Respect him.
  • Be loyal to him.
  • Give him physical love when he wants it.

Does this mean he’ll never take a second wife if you do these three things? Of course not.

But it will raise your value in his mind relative to other woman and he’ll be all the more reluctant to look for those three things (respect, loyalty, and sex) elsewhere.

Let me tell you:

She Thinks About Other Men

This is something men refuse to grasp, they simply can’t and won’t accept it. Women are turned on by other men than their husbands. Sean Connery, Johnny Depp, the cute guy at the bank – you name it! We eat them with our eyes and feast on them in our imaginations.

It doesn’t mean she’s going to cheat on you, but it might. Especially if you go off hallucinating about living a happy life in polygyny.

It doesn’t mean she’s thinking about taking a second husband, but realize it – nowadays she might.

It does mean she’s fantasizing about another man. Most of the time it’s just a harmless bit of fun. Like thinking about lasagna.

It just means that all (straight) women do, at some point in their lives, consider having another man (i.e. husband). They might consider replacing the one they have, having one or two lovers on the side, or getting a second husband.

You’re better off coming to terms with this and accepting it than having false, puerile notions about women.

The best way to combat these thoughts are to apply the advice given in the first secrets:

  • Respect her.
  • Be loyal to her.
  • Give her physical love when she wants it, and make sure it’s about her pleasure too, not only yours.
  • Appreciate her
  • Never ever pretend that you have rights that she doesn’t, that she has obligations that you don’t. Take out the trash, do the laundry, do the dishes, help the kids with homework, water the plants and fix dinner before you fix her!

Does this mean she’ll never take a lover or a second husband if you do these things? Of course not.

But it will raise your value in her mind relative to other men and she’ll be all the more reluctant to look for those things (respect, loyalty, equality, love and sex) elsewhere.

Not that difficult, is it?

7 thoughts on “Why Polygamy? “He Thinks About Other Women”

  1. LoL! This is so true!! 🙂 I sure don’t watch a Johnny Depp movie to lower my gaze… 😉

  2. My husband told me men are attracted visually while women need to love to feel attraction. He says this is why women must wear hijab, because men are trracted while women are not. He says this is why men need more wifes. He says for example men who watch Aishwarya Rai will be attracted to her and want her and that women can’t understand this… 😀 I asked him “How many women do you think look at their husbands and see Shah Rukh Khan – and how many women do you think see Shah Rukh Khan and wish he was their husband??? 😉 That made my husband very angry! 😀 This men thinking women don’t get attracted and want other men is a bit like the story of the ostrich who hides his head in the sand and believes he is invisible – is it not??? 😉

  3. Salam,

    I love this blog.Seriuosly am really glad women are speaking up,although my husband is one of those men that feel if a man wants another wife,than his wife should leave his ass,so I decided to keep him.Anyways,i have heard ,dividials like Bilile Philips and others speak about men getting second wives as if we are cars.I get soo angry ,and am dump funded why none of the sister in the audience does not freak out on the ass,rather they just sit there and act all puios women,as if that means we can not speak agisnt stupidity. I wrote in ontoher polygamous site,but iw as kick out, b/c I did support the “I love my husband ,but allow him to do another women, even though i wanna die’.Listen Islam is perfect and I refuse to believe that Allah has men to be ruled by their lust,but rather like women should control them selves. If I hear or read on more scholar telling a man that it is right take another wife ,without the consent of his wife I will scream.
    Later ladies

  4. Hello Souamya, and welcome! Thank you for posting. I just want to warn you, that if you post here, you won’t be welcome back to Ana afterwards… I am glad you came! I am in a hurry now, because I have to be off to work, I just wanted to welcome you and let you know I’ll be writing answers to your posts later today. 🙂

  5. Salam,
    I think that blogs were a place where individuals were allowed to state their comments freely,in any case I have no problem with Ann or other sisters that practice polygamy and I stated that in her blog,howver,as a muslim and a free adult female am entitled nay its my duty to speak when their is oppression ,and abuse of any kind. Polygamy is institution that Allah has allowed for the sake of the condition in those days,where women knew it benefit everyone involved,however,am against Religious leader telling women who have refuse to be involved that they are some how sinner opposing God law.I feel that is the main reason a lot of sister stay ,because they have been told to be patient and obedient, but I wish they would just see that their is no compulsion in Religion. I honesty do not how some sisters do it,but if they are happy ,power to them, but if they are not than please give your chance to be happy.The fact that I find interesting is that when men are speaking about this subject ,they speak of women as if they have no feelings, or emotions, in fact many scholars have said that a woman will be married to her husband in Jannah, because she is emotional attach to him,but when emotions are involved in such cases it is not important ,bc it conflict the husbands desires.I have no problem with Islam or Quran,infact I love it, but I also understand that Allah as given me rights to want my own husband, so loyalty goes both ways.Regarding Ann’s blog,as I said no problem with the sister, everyone should have the respect and dignity to live her life ,and I support any muslim sister,hwoever,i my self decided not to go back to the blog,because I could not sleep from the pain that those sister were going through,SubanAllah .Islam is peace within the society and self,and one will not find that unless they balance between the own rights with those of others,interetsing Amina wadud has made me realized that.I am in support of disrespecting any part of my religion,however,i feel as many other women Islam is being used by abusive ,ignorant men inorder to oppress women,and infact is my Jihad.


  6. You are very welcome here and you can give voice to any views or arguments concerning polygamy! I am glad to see you 🙂 I believe, just like you, that one huge problem is that women have been taught that they must submit and be obedient no matter what their husbands do, and that the worse he treats you the more you will be rewarded for your patience. It’s a very cunning plan these men have come up with, I’ll give them that! It’s sad that women allow them to get away with it!

    This nonsense about women and men harbouring different kinds of emotions, different kinds of jealousy is major BS. Did you read these posts: https://polygamy911.wordpress.com/2013/05/22/lies-about-polygamy-part-ii/ and https://polygamy911.wordpress.com/2013/05/24/lies-about-polygamy-part-iii/ I think you might find them interesting!

    As for religion I am prepared to respect any religion that is tolerant, acknowledges human rights and equality, and regards all people as equal before the law. My view is that if people of all religions could respect the rule “Don’t do to others what you would not have them do to you” – a rule that can be found e.g. in islam, judaism and christianity – the world would be a lot different and a lot better!

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