Words Matter in Polygamy

ThreeringsWhen my husband came home and told me he had “married” again, that he had taken a second “wife”, he kept referring to her as my “co-wife”.

“Your co-wife is feeling anxious”

“I will talk it over with your co-wife”

“I can’t tell you that, and you must respect your co-wife’s integrity”

And so on.

He also tried making me call her just that. He kept asking me why I wouldn’t call her my co-wife, why I couldn’t just, as he put it, respect HIM enough to accept her as my “co-wife”. I never called her my co-wife. She is my nothing. If he wants to claim she’s his wife, it’s on him. To me she is nothing.

When I entered my common-law marriage with Graham, I never asked my husband to talk about Graham as his “co-husband”. I have a few times referred to him as such, and my husband abhors it. Now of course he understands why I would never speak about Bimbo as my “co-wife”. It really is true that nobody can have a true understanding of things they have not themselves experienced. That is why for example no man can ever in my eyes argue pro forced polygyny without having lived and accepted forced polyandry.

I can tell you, my husband is nowadays vehemently against islamic polygyny.

Anyway, yesterday my husband suddenly referred to Graham as his co-husband.

Gee.

What does that tell you?

3 thoughts on “Words Matter in Polygamy

  1. πŸ™‚ Love to have you here! I really don’t know about the feed… Since when aren’t they showing up? 😦

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