Easy does it

800px-Philadelphus_coronarius_ACame home to the Chilterns. My son was here waiting for me. Lovely surprise! His girlfriend really is so sweet, I am so happy for them!

We are preparing a family dinner for when Graham comes home.  The smell of bread, their laughters from the kitchen – I do love coming home.

Things are falling into place. I can only be responsible for my own actions, my own decisions. From here on, I’ll try to keep that in mind.

My husband seemed ok when I left. I thought we’d have another scene, more drama, but he just kissed me goodbye and said see you Friday. I’ve been fighting the impulse to call him, make sure he’s all right. I must let go, let him deal with his own devils. I’ll assume he’ll ask me if there’s anything I can do. Otherwise, I am going to treat him like an adult, able to handle his own life.

The hurting must stop some time. It’s time to start building in stead of tearing down.

I will do my best to make sure that if things fall apart in the future, it won’t be all my fault. 🙂

5 thoughts on “Easy does it

  1. It’s incredible your husband is letting this happen! I wonder how other polygamous men would react if their wives claimed the same right to have multiple marriages? I wish more women dared do what you have done! Maybe men would think twice about marrying a second if they knew their wives would do the same?? 😀

  2. How do your children respond to your having 2 husbands? It’s time for women to stop talking about their situation, and create it instead. That’s what men have always done. That, and the fact that women enable them to be what they are is why men have what they have.

  3. When I first told my son about Graham, and deciding to become polygamous too, he was overjoyed. He was so filled with hatred and resentment against his father that the thought of revenge pleased him immensely. Since then he has come to truly love Graham, he even calls him “pop” sometimes, to show he thinks of him as a sort of father. My son has refused to have anything to do with his father ever since my husband told the children that he had married a second. My daughter still meets with her father occasionally, generally when we’re all together. She has only visited her father once when he has been staying with #2. My daughter was thoroughly disgusted by that experience, meeting this woman of my husband’s who was younger than herself. After that she refused to ever see #2 again, so mostly she sees her father together with me as I said. When I first told her about Graham, she was a bit taken aback. She didn’t really know how to react I think. But now, she loves Graham too, and has often brought friends to the Chilterns to stay weekends, even when I have been in London with her dad.

    My children are fantastic!

    You are so right about women having to create their own lives. That’s why I am so disgusted by women who oppress other women, who claim that men have other rights, more rights, than women. You can’t sink any lower than that. So, how do we stop them? :p

  4. I believe that women should not try to stop men at all. Because whatever a woman does, if it involves reacting, or trying to persuade, the man will win. I believe that women should instead focus on building what they need for their lives. This is what men have done.

    Men appear to have more need for segregation than women do. Fine. Let them have it. Their whole concept depends on having women to put in another room. Once women have started building the rooms they need, and are not there to be put in another room the complete impotence of the male need for segregation will become apparent.

    For example, Zach says: “You are putting words in my mouth the way people do when they want to badmouth islam.”

    Now, this is a man who believes he has an innately correct concept of justice as Allah wants it, and is entitled to enforce that concept. So he is religious legislator and judicial review and police force all at the same time. Then he whines about people “badmouthing” Islam? Sounds like a normal child to me. Children should not be empowered with such power. He simply arrogated to himself, because he’s a man, and he can.

    The truth is, men like him, of which the world is full, only do it because women let them.
    So my POV is, quit focusing on what men are doing, and focus on the future.

    And BTW, Zach, if you’re reading, I’d say “listening” but I know your not doing that, ever hear of a movie called “History of the World Part I” produced and directed by Mel Brooks? The part where Moses announces that there are 12 commandments, then he drops and breaks 2 of the stones and then says actually there are just 10 commandments? FYI, Christians and Jews think it’s funny. They laugh. Try it sometime.

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