Why power should Always be Earned, not Given

skrietI managed to get hold of my husband yesterday. He really did look tired and worn out. He didn’t say much, just told me everything is ok. It was obvious though that things are far from ok.

So I called him again today (Skype really is a wonderful invention!). We chatted for awhile about everything and nothing. He was very stand-offish and it felt so awkward.

Finally, I just asked him what’s wrong. And he started screaming at me:

“If you had just acted like an ordinary woman, if you had just accepted #2 we could all have been happy, you could have accepted a nikah instead of a marriage license and I could have given #2 a green card and we could have been happy the way it’s meant to be. Instead you had to ruin everything and now #2 is miserable, I am miserable and she’s saying I should divorce you and I feel like shit while you’re off acting like you’re the man in this family! This isn’t right, you’re not allowed to do this to me! You’re treating me like a bloody woman and it isn’t fair! Hell, it isn’t fair!

And he hung up.

Ok, Oman isn’t agreeing very well with him…

Islam grants power to people, not because they are qualified, not because they’ve earned it or shown they can deal with it. Islam grants power to people, and makes them believe they have rights and superiority, Β just because they have a dick. Sadly, it doesn’t come with intelligence.

9 thoughts on “Why power should Always be Earned, not Given

  1. Of course his second wife is leaning on him! He’s probably under pressure from friends in Oman too, saying he should be the leader and control the situation. And he’s probably hurting too. No wonder he is close to a nuclear meltdown. What are you going to do?

  2. Well, you know, this isn’t really my husband talking – this is sheer panic. Men are so emotional – he should learn to deal with his pms and be rational instead! I’m not really worried, he’ll come around once his brain kicks in.. πŸ™‚

  3. Thank you! I am having problems both reading and writing while I’m on vacation. The internet connection here is fickle at best… I’ll make up for it when I come home! Thank you for posting!

  4. I couldn’t stop laughing at this one!
    It’s all YOUR fault, bahahahaha!
    As if.
    He had an awesome marriage, a wonderful family but decided on bonking an 18 yr old.
    Bed/make/lie

  5. Oh Vera, I couldn’t agree more! And I do think that knowing that what you’re saying is spot on is what’s eating my husband…

  6. This is an old post but I couldn’t help but comment because I remember well this same kind of flailing about by my husband when #2 started her caterwauling and demands. Suddenly it was MY fault. Oh really? Was I there when you dropped your drawers and threw yourself on top of that woman? Gah, these men take stupid to a whole new level.

  7. Men seem to have huge problems admitting things are their fault. And we’re supposed to believe god wanted them to be the leaders… πŸ˜‰

  8. salaam.

    Lets be real and honest here. Muslim men take more than one wife because they can, all these rules and regulations my Muslim brothers and sisters put forth are way of trying to justify it and make it acceptable to those who cant seem to accept it.
    Men love women its a known unspoken fact. infidelity, cheating, plural marriages, affairs are a practice mostly found in men, (hence the saying ; men are like dogs.) They want to have women and many of them, they are attracted to women undeniably. (if all the people of the book looked in past religious history, they would see all prophets had more than one wife. In basic history it also seems that man had wives and concubines even those void of any religious affiliation.)
    Islam only came to regulate the practice and put it in to order, a man cannot have access to a woman and take from her unless he makes an oath with her that he promises to look after her, maintain her, feed her, house her and treat her well. If he falls short and is unjust he will receive his due with his lord.
    Its really not that difficult to understand.
    Her chastity is hers and her one time to truly remember and cherish it when she ultimately loses her virginity to the man she has married, in islam it is cherished. (while culture has elevated it an misplaced it where it shouldn’t be)
    I think for Muslim women, yes, we go through the emotions and we feel the pain and hurt of polygany but one does rise above it and then put their trust, hopes and fears in something higher than a human who doesn’t fail to disappoint.
    it kinda unshackles the chain of emotion hopelessly binding you to someone who will eventually disappear and who is never always consistent.
    As brutal as it may sound everyone hurts you some time or another and husbands are no different imo.
    Obviously i disagree with fiona vehemently in her choice to practice polyandry due to my beliefs and my loyalty to my way of life and how (Yes!! it does define righteousness, the fine details of it, but humans have an innate moral compass that automatically steers them to goodness, but society and times allow that compass to shift with the changing attitudes and especially the introduction of absolute modernity and the feminist revolution and freedom to do as you please.) but if Fiona is a person who does as she pleases then such a lifestyle is suited her, whether you believe there a repercussions for such actions in this life or a hereafter is down to what you ultimately believe.
    And i believe in polygany. πŸ™‚
    with all sincerity
    me.

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