I found this question on another blog and since it is so astounding I had to copy it, and try to answer it! The question comes from Maureen whose story you can find here:
I just have a question for you ‘n the ladies here ‘n would like to hear/read your input. It may be out of subject, but it would really mean a lot.
It’s nearly 3 am where I live ‘n I just can’t sleep 😦 Does the 2. Have the right to know about the first (wife)’s pregnancy. Does the husband have to tell the 2nd the news ( his first wife’s pregnancy) in the first place or it is something private ‘n it’s not of her business knowing that?Why do men do this ‘n share these kinds of informations without even speaking with their first wife?
Is it better if the 2nd knows?My hubby told his 2nd this last Thu about my pregnancy. He did tell her that ‘n that the baby does have an XXY syndrome, which is not the case alhamdu li Allah much for that.
He let me know about this conversation with Nr. 2. Today. When I asked him why he did that, he told me to make her feel better. She has lost everything ‘n has a miserable life ‘n I do not want to have children with her due to her alcoholism so I wanted to make it kind of easier on her. That’s why.I do not know what to think of this ‘n how/what to feel right now.
Thank you for your comments in advance ladies ‘n have a good night/say
The first question is: Does one wife have a right to know when the other wife is pregnant and has a child? Should the husband let the first wife know he is expecting or has had a baby with the other wife?
This question shows, in a frighteningly clear way, how warped muslim polygyny is. I’m holding my breath while waiting to see what kind of replies she’ll get from the sick, islamist women (and occasional men) at Polygamy 411. They might write that the husband isn’t obliged to tell one wife that the other wife even exists. They might write that a husband in islam isn’t allowed to share private things from one marriage to the other and that having a baby is private. They might write that your husband being off fucking other women, having children with them, being a father to other women’s children, being the father of handicapped children in need of extra care is none of your concern! This is really what is implied by the question, so the question in itself is so sick and warped that we need not wait for the answers…
The second question, my question, is: How the hell does this husband arrive at the conclusion that since he is married to an alcoholic with whom he can’t have children due to her addiction, he will help her by letting her know he is having a baby with another woman? And, even more, this baby is a retard and will demand even more of his time (unless of course he will use his muslim right to be an absent father) than an ordinary baby! Well, I suppose the answer is that this is what he believes since he is a brainwashed muslim who thinks women are born to enjoy having their husbands off fucking and breeding with other women. His being morally and mentally challenged obviously doesn’t help.
The third question is why men do things, like give out info that hurts their wives without even talking to them first. Now, get this one honey: You married a man who believes he has a divine right to “marry” other women, or children aged 6 and above, behind your back and spend half his life, or 75 % of it, away from you and your children to go off and fuck other women and children. You married a man who believes he has a right to have sex with his women whenever he wishes, with or without their consent. You married a man who believes he has a right to lock you up in your house for any period of time, even the rest of your life. You married a man who believes he has a divine right to beat you, a duty to do so when ever you dare question him or disobey him.
And you are surprised and hurt that he told his other wife that you had a baby by him???
Maureen; There is help to be had. Social services can help you care for your child. There are help programs for people who want to leave destructive cults. But you need to wake up first, and realize that you, and your child, badly need this help!