Is it Possible to Marry a Muslim Man?

20081123120727-violencia-de-generoOne of the two sane people at Polygamy 411, Jenny, came  up with an interesting perspective today. The other sane woman Gail, (they are both non-muslims by the way) is unhappy in her marriage since her husband is a lying, cheating misogynist muslim who is forcing her to live an abusive life among her in laws. She is dreaming of her first, great love.

This is the advice Gail gets from Jenny:

  • If you were ever going to pursue this relationship with this man, do it when you are not married! Doing while you are married is insane and not of G-d.Second, what will you do to your children? Is it worth wrecking their home life so you can get an itch scratched? If that is the case, get a vibrator, and let your children remain happy. Once you have children, your life is no longer yours to do as you please. Your “happiness” comes secondary to theirs.
    Jenny is right of course. Basically.

However, Gail’s husband chose polygamy (behind her back, cheating and lying about it) which means he has said that having several spouses is ok. This then should naturally apply to Gail too. Her right to have a second spouse has been given her by her husband’s actions. “Doing while you are married is insane and not of G-d” is true I’d say (although I’m an agnostic and don’t believe in a particular god) but once one spouse has chosen to become polygamous, polygamy must be equally allowed. This is natural law “We believe all people to be equal”. Gail’s husband has given up all rights to have a monogamous marriage.

Jenny continues to state the rights of the children. This is so spot on! But it applies to fathers too! This is why a father who chooses polygamy automatically becomes an abusive father!

This is why no sane woman should ever marry a muslim man. Islam grants men the divine right to be abusive and absent husbands, abusive and absent fathers, destroying the lives of their wives and children.

The saddest thing about it is that there are women, brainwashed, warped and sick women, who propagate men’s right to destroy their children and wives, by claiming that a god would want it that way.

I am having a wonderful time, by the way. We saw sea turtles today!

8 thoughts on “Is it Possible to Marry a Muslim Man?

  1. Erm, hmm… well, you probably won’t publish my comment but I did want to gently say that Islam does not grant men the right to be abusive, in fact they get sinned for being abusive. Abuse is not specific to muslim men, as there are several non muslim men that are abusive. If a man had married another woman behind her back then in Islam she has the right to divorce, she also has the right to divorce if he was open to her about his polygamy, similarly if he was being abusive she also has the right to divorce (which must be done through the courts in order to unearth abuse). If a woman is unhappy with her marriage and she can prove it to be damaging to her children then in Islam she has the right to a divorce. I think it rather dangerous that a statement is made that no sane woman would marry a muslim man because I can give you several examples of happy marriages. Anyway, peace! Hope you enjoyed the turtles!

  2. Hello zaffa 87, and thank you for posting. Of course I publish – I am for free speech! 🙂 You are most welcome to state your views here..

    I know many moderate muslims, mainly in the West, try to make these claims. But fact is that many islamic countries do not allow women divorce if her reason is her husband’s polygamy only. In some countries like Iran and Malaysia, men are required by law to have their first wife’s consent before they marry a second. However, in Malaysia e.g. the punishment for marrying without spousal consent is a small fine, so many men simply marry and pay the fine. In Saudi e.g. khula is extremely difficult to get even if the wife has been repeatedly and severely beaten, polygamy is not accepted by the sharia courts as reason to grant a woman khula.

    You are right that abuse is not specific to muslim men, tragically. However – only muslim nations in the world today legally allow wife abuse like rape within marriage and wife beating. Therein lies the fundamental difference!

    And I would be interested to know where in islam – quran or hadith – I can find that a man is required to have his wife’s consent before he marries a second, third and fourth… If you search islamqa e.g. you will find that islamic scholars disagree with you on that one!

    I would also be very interested to know how she is to prove to a sharia court in Saudi e.g. that polygamy is harmful to the children…

    And why does she have to prove that in order to get a divorce, while a husband only has to utter a few words to have a divorce, while sometimes not even informing his former wife that he has divorced her.. :p

    Of course there are happy muslim marriages! And people can survive Russian roulette too! 😉

  3. AAh! I didn’t notice you replied to this, sorry! I didn’t get a notification about it, so I assumed you had ignored it, I will of course reply but again give me time!

  4. If you have an education and a job and can support yourself whatever happens and if you also live in the West, then you can marry a muslim man. If he takes a second wife you can just leave, and if he just leaves and disappears to Paki or whatever and sends you an email divorce a year later you will manage anyway. There is just one more problem though. You can not have children with a muslim man because he has shareeah right to take them from you and if he is from a muslim country he can take off with the children and you will never see them again.

  5. Marrying a muslim man was the biggest mistake of my life. In the UK he was all charm and he swept me off my feet and he talked about his home in a way that made me fall in love with it the same way I fell in love with him. When we came there it turned out we had to live with his parents and sisters and a brother and his mother watched every step I took and backstabbed me to my husband. He forced me to wear niqab. After a while I wasn’t allowed outside the house if he or his brother wasn’t with me. I didn’t have my own passport, He had a married couple passport for both of us so I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t even get to my bankaccount without him since I needed the passport. After a while he married a second wife, a girl his parents chose. She moved in with us. My in laws compared us all the time, how obedient and beautiful she was, how ugly and rebellious I was. My husband beat me to prove to his parents and his second wife what a man he was. His second wife loved it when he beat me. At last he let me go. I thank god I didn’t have children. If I had, I would have been stuck there forever. Never marry a muslim man.

  6. Hello, my friend

    First I am very glad that you have gone out of the horrific situation.However, please remember that bad ,and abusive men belong to all different relgiones,so please do not generalize one man or two for the whole of relgion.My brother married a Christian woman,and we treat her with more reseopct that our own sister.Thefirst advice I would give to any woman marry any man of different relgion or culture ,please make sure your family are aware and have met the person before,and make sure your family are always aware of the situation,so in case abuse takes place ,you can get the help you need.You might not believe me,but Islam is not like that,soo many people associate disturbing culture with Islam,I don’t know any woman in my family that has been treated in such a manner,nor a man getting married to second wife.I have been born a muslim,practicing infact,but I have to honestly say I have never heard of the stories I have heard in the last couple of months on these blogs,it breaks my heart.My dear Viola please do not judge us for the horrific action of one despicable family .
    Peace,and cheers

  7. “Islam grants men the divine right to be abusive and absent husbands, abusive and absent fathers, destroying the lives of their wives and children.”
    Oh my… oh my my my…
    The sister we stopped the courtship with is now with a Muslim man and has been with him as his second wife since the end of November, or beginning of December, I think it was.
    WHEN I hear things about how she’s doing and her life, I hear that her situation is what you’ve stated here.
    Sad and frightening.

  8. It’s difficult to understand how women CHOOSE that life, in stead of mutual respect. I can accept any kind of relationship, as long as it’s based on wanting for each other what one would want for oneself. Like love and respect.

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