Voluntary Segregation?

397px-White-onlyHow would you feel about an event where there were offered separate sections for coloureds and white people? Voluntary? And a special section for mixed couples? In the UK today.

Or maybe a university event with separate seating for jews and non-jews? Voluntary of course. With a few rows available for mixed groups or couples?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2013/may/27/gender-segregation-university-voluntary-equality

 

A Cliffhanger…

titleImagePacking our things – the cruise ship is waiting in the harbour.

A whole week away from everything is exactly what we need Graham and I.

I love him so much! 🙂

I had a very interesting e-mail from my husband yesterday… I’ll tell you all about it when I’m back online again. 😉

But for now – I’m heading for the horizon!

Muslim Polygamy in America

20081123120727-violencia-de-generoHere’s a very interesting study concerning muslim polygamy in America.

Polygamy and Wife Abuse – Muslim Polygamy in America

It illustrates clearly some of the massive abuse caused by islamic polygamy in general, and forced polygamy especially. The descriptions of co-wives as witnesses and perpetrators are very interesting indeed.

And again, proof is provided that when polygamy is combined with the husband being given divine right to beat and punish his wife/wives, we end up with hell on earth.

I remember they had an old-fashioned heater. Behind the heater he would have a stick waiting. And the minute he came home, both of the wives would look at each other and they would go into their rooms

And he would hit my sister and hit her up to the point where she would just like,you could hear like the bird, you would just hear like a tiny noise coming out of her mouth. And when he would leave the house I would come out and lift her head to see if she is okay or not.
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 How can anybody believe this is what god wants?
But this is not because of islam you might claim. There are wife abusers in every religion!
True.
But islam is the only religion today that allows and propagates polygamy as well as beating your wife.

Why power should Always be Earned, not Given

skrietI managed to get hold of my husband yesterday. He really did look tired and worn out. He didn’t say much, just told me everything is ok. It was obvious though that things are far from ok.

So I called him again today (Skype really is a wonderful invention!). We chatted for awhile about everything and nothing. He was very stand-offish and it felt so awkward.

Finally, I just asked him what’s wrong. And he started screaming at me:

“If you had just acted like an ordinary woman, if you had just accepted #2 we could all have been happy, you could have accepted a nikah instead of a marriage license and I could have given #2 a green card and we could have been happy the way it’s meant to be. Instead you had to ruin everything and now #2 is miserable, I am miserable and she’s saying I should divorce you and I feel like shit while you’re off acting like you’re the man in this family! This isn’t right, you’re not allowed to do this to me! You’re treating me like a bloody woman and it isn’t fair! Hell, it isn’t fair!

And he hung up.

Ok, Oman isn’t agreeing very well with him…

Islam grants power to people, not because they are qualified, not because they’ve earned it or shown they can deal with it. Islam grants power to people, and makes them believe they have rights and superiority,  just because they have a dick. Sadly, it doesn’t come with intelligence.

His other Marriage – a Parallel Universe

Bahamas_-_No_Entry.svgHad a call from my daughter today. She called because she had just talked to her father and she said she could hardly recognize him. She said he had acted almost bipolar – joking, then clamming up all of a sudden, laughing, being on the verge of tears, reminiscing about her childhood, and then erupting with anxiety over her exams.. And she said he looked haggard and had lost weight. She had tried to call her grandparents, but nobody had answered.

I told her not to worry, that I’d make sure he’s ok. I managed to get hold of my father in law, they were visiting some friends. He said that yes, my husband is having what my father in law called a “mild meltdown”, but he said I shouldn’t worry, they’re watching him closely and taking care of him.

I called my daughter and she was relieved. I’m still worried though.

Still, I believe he has to cope with this on his own. This is about his other woman, about his other “marriage”. It has nothing to do with me. He told me so many times, in the beginning, before I became polygamous too, that I had to learn to realize that his other “marriage” didn’t concern me, didn’t involve me, and I should think of it as belonging to a parallel universe, something beyond my reach and reality.

So be it.

Alienated Young Men

David Lammy writes in the Guardian, concerning the heinous murder of Lee Rigby:

We need to turn our attention to the generation of alienated and brutalised young men who remain vulnerable to the poisonous ideology of violent extremism.

I can’t help but wonder; How come only young men are alienated and brutalized? How come it’s the young men who become extremist killers, not the young women? Could it possibly be that all brutalizing, alienating, violent extremist ideologies are patriarchal? Islamism, nazism, the Mob – they are all ideologies that consider men to be superior to, and guardians of, women.

Where women are influential, in communities where equality is a shared value, the basis for these extremist groups is radically diminished.

Maybe the best way to turn our attention to these brutalized men, is by working without failure or compromise to empower women?

A new Solution to our Situation in Polygamy

Heart-beatGraham and I bought a house in the Chilterns last year. It’s a wonderful old farmhouse and since Graham is a diy kind of man it’s already almost completely refurbished. I love that house!

Graham also has a nice flat in South London. He runs his own business, and can choose to work from home sometimes, so he can spend a lot of time in the Chilterns. But he needs a home in London too.

The flat is extremely expensive though.

When my parents died my brother and I inherited the house in Belgravia, and since my brother died the house is mine. There’s also an annex that used to be stables, then garage, and the chauffeur’s flat.

I’ve been thinking about asking Graham to move into the annex.

Then we could all live together and I could be able to see both my husbands every day, and alternate between them more easily. They wouldn’t have to give up half their time with me. And they could still live separately.

I have been waiting for an opportunity to bring it up with Graham…. Maybe tomorrow?

Lies about Polygamy – Part III

treringarMany people, even muslims, wonder why a god would allow something as painful and destructive as forced polygamy. They also question why a god would be discriminating and misogynist and allow one sort of people a right at the expense of another group.

This is the kind of bogus, lying falsehoods that muslim scholars will use to justify why muslim men should have rights at the expense of muslim women:

Men and women are different, physiologically and psychologically. Their roles and responsibilities are different. Men and women are equal in Islam, but not identical.

Surah Nisa’ Chapter 4 verses 22 to 24 gives the list of women with who you can not marry and it is further mentions in Surah Nisa’ Chapter 4 verse 24 “Also (prohibited are) women already married”

The following points enumerate the reasons why polyandry is prohibited in Islam:

1. If a man has more than one wife, the parents of the children born of such marriages can easily be identified. The father as well as the mother can easily be identified. In case of a woman marrying more than one husband, only the mother of the children born of such marriages will be identified and not the father. Islam gives tremendous importance to the identification of both parents, mother and father. Psychologists tell us that children who do not know their parents, especially their father undergo severe mental trauma and disturbances. Often they have an unhappy childhood. It is for this reason that the children of prostitutes do not have a healthy childhood. If a child born of such wedlock is admitted in school, and when the mother is asked the name of the father, she would have to give two or more names! I am aware that recent advances in science have made it possible for both the mother and father to be identified with the help of genetic testing. Thus this point which was applicable for the past may not be applicable for the present.

2. Man is more polygamous by nature as compared to a woman.

3. Biologically, it is easier for a man to perform his duties as a husband despite having several wives. A woman, in a similar position, having several husbands, will not find it possible to perform her duties as a wife. A woman undergoes several psychological and behavioral changes due to different phases of the menstrual cycle.

4. A woman who has more than one husband will have several sexual partners at the same time and has a high chance of acquiring venereal or sexually transmitted diseases which can also be transmitted back to her husband even if all of them have no extra-marital sex. This is not the case in a man having more than one wife, and none of them having extra-marital sex.

The above reasons are those that one can easily identify. There are probably many more reasons why Allah, in His Infinite Wisdom, has prohibited polyandry.

Dr. Zakir Naik

Ok, so let’s look at these blatant lies one at a time:

*Men and women are different, physiologically and psychologically. Their roles and responsibilities are different. Men and women are equal in Islam, but not identical.

This is a ridiculous statement based on falsified science. Please read Lies about Polygamy – Part II for scientific proof that this is pure B*S* Please also compare the “Men and women are equal in Islam, but not identical”-statement with the quote from Hitler in the same post. You will find proof here that islam shares not only ideology but also rhetoric with the nazis.

*If a man has more than one wife, the parents of the children born of such marriages can easily be identified. The father as well as the mother can easily be identified. In case of a woman marrying more than one husband, only the mother of the children born of such marriages will be identified and not the father. Islam gives tremendous importance to the identification of both parents, mother and father. Psychologists tell us that children who do not know their parents, especially their father undergo severe mental trauma and disturbances. Often they have an unhappy childhood. It is for this reason that the children of prostitutes do not have a healthy childhood. If a child born of such wedlock is admitted in school, and when the mother is asked the name of the father, she would have to give two or more names! I am aware that recent advances in science have made it possible for both the mother and father to be identified with the help of genetic testing. Thus this point which was applicable for the past may not be applicable for the present.Damn right it’s not applicable! So stop using it! 

*  Man is more polygamous by nature as compared to a woman.

This is one of the most selfish male lies. Men of course want to promote their right to sleep around, while believing that their own wives would never as much as look at another man because it’s not in their nature. OMG that anybody can be that stupid! Many women would love to have a whole harem of Johnny Depp look alikes around to sleep with, if we just never had to deal with their dirty socks and packed lunches! That aside, I’ll say it again. Science proves that this is a lie! : For 122 different characteristics, from empathy to sexuality to science inclination to extroversion, a statistical analysis of 13,301 individuals did not reveal any distinct differences between men and women

* Biologically, it is easier for a man to perform his duties as a husband despite having several wives. A woman, in a similar position, having several husbands, will not find it possible to perform her duties as a wife. A woman undergoes several psychological and behavioral changes due to different phases of the menstrual cycle.

Well, first of all recent science shows that men are cyclic too. Theirs is a 24 hour cycle which makes them even more unstable, hormonal and unpredictable than women. Science also proves that men’s innate aggressiveness make them more unstable in temperament and psyche than women. Financially, providing for two wives and families is impossible for many, especially in Western countries. For a woman to have two husbands is extremely beneficial to the family economy. So the financial argument speaks for polyandry, not for polygyny. As to physical need very few men manage to fulfill the sexual desires of more than one woman per night. Biologically, men are less able in this respect than women, and their deficiency increases with age. Women however have the physical and biological capability to have sex with as many men as she pleases every day. Hence, polyandry is physically and biologically possible and beneficial while polygyny is not.

* A woman who has more than one husband will have several sexual partners at the same time and has a high chance of acquiring venereal or sexually transmitted diseases which can also be transmitted back to her husband even if all of them have no extra-marital sex. This is not the case in a man having more than one wife, and none of them having extra-marital sex.

Huh?? This is basic lack of logic on a level that makes it downright laughable! This guy should not be married at all since his intellectual standard obviously shows him in possession of genes that should not be allowed to be passed on. There is simply no way to understand what he’s getting at, so I’ll just let this argument be proof of it’s own idiocy.

Conclusion: All these arguments claiming that polygyny is beneficial are biased and or false. Instead, proof shows that polyandry is biologically, socially and economically beneficial.

Also:

It might be interesting to know that this islamic scientist and acclaimed representative of islam has stated that all muslims should be terrorists, that evolution is “only a hypothesis, and an unproven conjecture at best”, that he supports Bin Ladin, and that homosexuality and reverting from islam should be punishable by death.

Confidential Posts – Please Read!

Magnolia_campbellii_flowersHello everybody, and thank you for visiting my blog!

I am getting quite a lot of posts, questions and stories, from people who ask me to

keep their posts confidential, and not to publish them.

I am perfectly fine with that, I promise I will never ever publish anything anybody posts for my eyes only. I would only like to ask you to state your preference clearly, so I don’t ever publish by mistake something you wanted to keep private.

I would also like to make it perfectly clear that although I am a doctor, a Ph. D in history in no way qualifies me to give any kind of professional advice concerning matters of religion, psychology or anything similar. I will listen – I am a good listener – and state my view, but you must take it for what it is. 🙂

I appreciate your trust and will do my best to deserve it.

Come again! //Fiona

A Husband Laying down the Law to his Second Wife

Source:Wikimedia Commons

Source:Wikimedia Commons

I have been skyping with my mother in law. She is such a fantastic woman!

She has been living in Oman now for the better part of 30 years, keeping her integrity, living her life as a free independent equal woman, supported by her husband and gradually she has been able to get the rest of his family to accept her point of view too.

Now though, she was worried.

My husband’s #2 is going to live with the eldest sister of my father in law. She is sickly and in need of help. Her best friend is living with her since she became a widow, but that lady is very old too and not of much help. #2 is staying there already since my parents in law won’t allow her in their home. My husband however has to live at home out of respect for his parents, but also because he can’t inconvenience the friend of his aunt.

So – they are already forced to live apart!

Now, my mother in law told me my husband had been over to see #2, and he had brought an imam. His aunt had called my mother in law and told her all about it. Obviously, my husband had brought the imam so they could lay down the law to #2, and tell her the rules for the future. She is not to accept any visitors that are not approved by my husband. She may skype with her mother and father on occasion, but nobody else. She may not leave the house without my husband’s explicit approval. She will not be allowed to go back to her studies, but is only allowed to do islamic studies via recorded lectures.

My mother in law didn’t know what to do. She said, basically in Oman my husband has a right to do this to #2. But my mother in law would never have accepted it normally, and my father in law would not have allowed it to happen in his family. But with things as they are, they don’t really know what to do.

My mother in law asked me what I thought. Did I want them to try and get #2 “a better deal” or did I want them to turn a blind eye?

Tricky one…