When my husband became polygamous, there were so many things that hurt – the betrayal, humiliation, loss of trust, sexual jealousy, loneliness… One of the things I hated about my reaction to his taking a second “wife” was the feeling that I needed to compete, that I wanted him to love me, want me, need me. In my worst moments, I felt like I was even prepared to beg, to grovel, to make him come back to me, to me alone. I never did. I screamed, I cried, I raged, but I never groveled.
When I became polyandrous, my husband went through the same emotions, he even begged – and groveled…
Now, I can see how he is becoming needy, he is wanting me to love him, make love to him, he’s turning to me like a flower to the sun… Obviously, the current situation is making him unsure of himself, and he is now turning to me to be there for him.
Fine, I’ll be there for him.
However, if he is thinking he might be able to get me to give up Graham – he has to think again. I won’t. I am polyandrous, and he will have to accept that, just the way he expected me to accept his becoming polygamous.
He hasn’t said anything yet. But I can feel it coming….