Polygamy Trauma – the Phone Call…

400px-Young_Saudi_Arabian_woman_in_AbhaI’m still out lecturing, staying in hotel rooms.

Yesterday, as I was preparing to go to bed, I had a phone call from my father in law in Oman.

First, I need to tell you that my husband didn’t tell his parents about being polygamous. His mother is English and his father is a muslim liberal who was educated in the UK and who is dead against polygamy. My husband simply didn’t dare tell them, and he asked me not to either. So, he’s been keeping them in the dark, and I have been aiding and abetting him, because I wanted him to tell them, I didn’t want it to be me.

Anyway, my father in law called me. He said my husband had called them and confessed everything. He had told them about #2, about not telling me until afterwards, about my pain and suffering, about our son’s refusing to have any more to do with him. He had also told them about my subsequently becoming polyandrous.


My father in law said he’d be handing the phone over to my mother in law, but he had wanted to tell me first that they were both on my side, that they loved me and were sorry for the pain their son had caused me. Wow….

I was sitting on the bed, shaking, as my mother in law came on the phone. She cried. She said she was so sorry, so ashamed that her son had done this. She said they all thought I was so brave who had staid with my husband, even though I had found another love.


She said the main reason my husband had decided to confess was that he was having serious problems… Obviously his #2 had been in the UK on some kind of exchange program student’s visa. However, she has been failing her courses, even her beginner’s English courses. (Typical… My husband didn’t only “marry” a silly cow, he had to “marry” a STUPID silly cow.. 😉 ) Because of this, her visa is going to be withdrawn. So, she can’t stay in the UK.

Obviously, she can’t go back home, or she won’t. She would be returning a failure, a shame to her family. So my husband was asking if she could come to his parents in Oman instead.

My mother in law said that they had refused. Totally. After a family pow wow however, they had decided to offer #2 to come stay with my mother in law’s older sister in Oman. She is an elderly widow. They had made it clear that #2 would not be welcome in their home. My mother in law told me, my husband had said he would talk with #2 and they would decide shortly what to do…


I have been itching to call my husband all day today, but I haven’t.

I am feeling confused and scared. I’m also experiencing a fair bit of schadenfreude, I do admit…

What will happen now?

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