My Husband has offered to Divorce his Second Wife

S%C3%A9pulcre_Arc-en-Barrois_111008_12My husband called Graham and asked his permission to ask me out to lunch, even though it’s Graham’s day. Graham said that I’m a free woman and I can do whatever I want.

He knows how I’m hurting, and he’s willing to do what he can to help me.

I said ok to my husband, I agreed to meet him for lunch. I thought I’d be nervous, but actually I just felt numb. I’m so tired of the pain and drama, it’s drained me completely.

The moment I saw my husband I knew he was feeling extremely upset. He told me how much he loves me, that I’m the one most important thing in his life. That he wanted to die when he understood he had sent me that text. He asked me to forgive him.

He said he is willing to do anything to make things right again. He said he will divorce #2 tomorrow if I ask him to. He said he has reached the end of the road, he can’t take it anymore, all this causing me pain over and over again.

I said I’ll think about it.

4 thoughts on “My Husband has offered to Divorce his Second Wife

  1. Personally, I think he is lying to you! Doesn’t matter though, cause this is a no win situation for you any way you look at it! Bascially he is asking you to fix his mess that he created! If you tell him not to divorce her – you are giving him permission to stay in it and he will take that as you accepting it and it will be used against you in the future. If you tell him to divorce her (which I believe he will find some reason not to do), but if he does actually go through with it, he will probably resent you for it and also hold it against you in the future – and then of course – what happens to Graham. You will be expected to leave that relationship as part of the bargain – I can guarentee that.

    Seems to me the only solution here is to throw it back in his hands as he created the mess – he is the one that should fix it. If he believes he is hurting you by this marriage (and it is very clear, he has and still is) and really does not want to hurt you anymore – he would just divorce her on his own, without asking you to make the decision!!!!

  2. Futhermore, why do you stay in this relationship and allow him to hurt you like he does over and over. Clearly you are really not adapting all that well! I feel so much bitterness and anger coming from you – alot of it directed at the religion when instead it should be directed straight towards your husband who has used the religion as an excuse to DESTROY your marriage! Sometimes love is just not a good enough reason to stay in a relationship, especially when the entire relationship is so caustic! And actually if you two staying married to each other is because you “love” each other so much that you can’t end your marriage – yet you are still able to do things that hurt each other so deeply on a regualar basis – really? – who needs that kind of love???

    No offense, but if I were you – I would take Graham and run as far away from this man and his dysfunctional love as possible!!!

  3. You are so absolutely right! Thank you very much for commenting, reading your post helped me. Everything you say is true. I’m going back to my husband tomorrow, and I am going to say exactly what you stated above: that he has to make this decision himself, that I will not be made responsible for his actions and that I have decided to be happy and live a good life regardless of his choices.

  4. You are asking some very valid, and difficult questions. Thank you! Your questions force me to analyze my situation, and that’s extremely helpful.. The answer to the questions you’ve posted here is somewhat complicated though, so I hope it’s ok if I post the questions, and some kind of answer, in the Q&A section instead. And I do value your input! 🙂

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