I got this e-mail, and I want to share it with you, and I really thank the anonymous sender. I feel so sorry for you. I feel so sorry for your wife. My heart goes out to you.
Thank you for creating this blog, it has made me understand so many things, although reading it has sometimes been very painful.
I became polygamous six years ago. I loved my first wife very much, still do. She is the smartest person I know, she always made me laugh and enjoy life, because she was the kind of person who enjoyed life. We have two beautiful daughters, and I have been very blessed with such a fine wife and daughters. When I went to medical school my wife worked two jobs to support the family, and she still managed to take care of me and surprise me with little things of love every day.
Sometimes you read that men become polygamous because first wife is lacking, but I love my wife more than anything.
But I couldn’t help thinking about one more wife. I wanted a big family, I wanted more of the happiness I had. I just wanted to love and be loved and I knew it was halal. I thought my first wife would maybe hurt a little but understand I just wanted more of what I had, I didn’t love her less. And with being a doctor I could afford a bigger family.
I made my first wife very unhappy. Just like you write she cried and cried, and it never got better. She refused to let me make love to her, I wanted to make love to her often and show her how much I loved her and wanted her but she screamed when I tried to touch her.
After a while she stopped crying. She stopped talking. She stopped smiling. My children can not remember having a mother who smiled.
My wife used to be my best friend. We talked about everything, we dreamed together, made plans together shared secrets and looked forward to things together. She always knew when I was upset, she helped me, she was my best friend.
I knew when I married second I would hurt my wife, but I thought it would be ok again eventually.
Now, it has been six years. My first wife is never angry with me any more, she doesn’t cry anymore. But she never smiles anymore. And she never shares secrets, she never talks plans, she never asks me questions, she never comes to me to be touched.
Someone should have warned me. I still have my wife, but I lost my best friend when I became polygamous. I lost the thing that was most made me happy in life.
Now, when I have read your story, I know why I lost her.
I regret polygamy more than anything you could imagine.