Would you make your Husband Divorce his Second Wife if you could? Q&A

Question: Would you make your husband divorce #2 if you could?

Answer: Well, first of all I don’t really agree with the term “divorce” since in my mind they aren’t really married. He is married to me, I’m the only one with a valid marriage license, and we live in a country where bigamy is criminal. The fact that they had some kind of hoax wedding, a voodoo kinda ceremony called a “nikah” does not mean that they are married. No way. No more than Barbie is really married to Ken, Buzz Lightyear and Winnie the Pooh after my niece has said abracadabra over them and sprinkled them with lemon juice and declared them all to be married. 🙂

Apart from that, would I want him to leave her? Well, in a way I do. You see, I hate her for what she did to my family. She knew when she “married” my husband that they did it behind his first wife’s back, she did that willingly which makes her a liar, a cheat, a homebreaker and a whore. She also knew that we had children, and that they knew nothing about their fathers choice to become polygamous. This didn’t stop her. Her need for sex and money was more important than my children’s right to their father. It’s her fault my son is saying his father killed himself. So, in a way she is a murderer. She knew that I am not muslim, so she knew I would never accept any islamist excuses for her whoring, stealing and cheating. So – I hate her. I would love to be able to pay her back. To cause her any pain to make up for the pain she has caused me and my children. I hope she goes to hell. Just for her sake, I hope there is a hell.

But at the same time, I have paid such a high price, my husband has paid such a high price, for polygamy – wouldn’t it be even worse if it was all for nothing?

And by now, there is no way going back. So where would we end up?

So, really, I don’t know.

But I can say this: muslim women have no business “marrying” men who are already married to women who aren’t muslim. If you share a husband with a muslim woman who is ok with it – fine. But NEVER NEVER NEVER invade the marriage of a non-muslim woman. May you be cursed if you do.

3 thoughts on “Would you make your Husband Divorce his Second Wife if you could? Q&A

  1. Whew! what an answer…” NEVER NEVER NEVER invade the marriage of a non-muslim woman”. The real question here, “Why a non-muslim woman married a muslim man and would never understand this reality?”… many countries doesn’t allow multiple marriages, very unacceptable but accept same sex marriage. And those countries that doesn’t accept multiple marriages, have a lot of cases married men still dates other woman… that’s reality… we may have ideals but in reality, men are polygamous…including men gays can have multiple partners… All the best to you! your blog is very informative, it helps me to reflect and learn more about the reality of polygamy. Nice Post… very straightforward…

  2. First of all, why did I marry a muslim man? Well, you see his father is from Oman, but his mother is English. My husband grew up in England from the age of 6, when he was placed in a public school. So he is English, and comes across as English. I never thought of him as anything else. We were still in university when we got married, we were very young. He has never ever been to a mosque or prayed any muslim prayers or anything else muslim ever, until he suddenly became polygamous in November 2010. He was always the one to bring home the Christmas tree and dress up as easter bunny. So, I really didn’t marry a muslim man, the way I saw it. Knowing what I know now, I would say that no woman who considers herself free and equal should ever marry anything but a Western man – born and bred. Sorry.
    You are right that the UK e.g.accept same sex marriage but not bigamy. It’s because we accept EQUAL and CONSENSUAL love. Polygyny is the opposite, so of course it can not be made legal. We don’t accept child marriage either. Do you think we should?? Nor do we accept slavery or having sex with your female slaves. Do you think we should??
    SOME men are polygamous, not all. But equally: SOME women are polygamous, not all. So the fact that women too take on lovers should make polyandry legal in muslim countries too according to that kind of reasoning.. 🙂 Glad to have you here, hope to hear from you again.

  3. I just came across your blog and find it very interesting. However, the ONLY person that is to be blamed is your husband and not the poor, brainwashed girl! I hate when men cheat and the wife’s blame the other woman as being a home wrecker. Yes, no self respecting woman would ever start something with a married man, but she is not the one who is betraying a wife and children, it is the MARRIED man who vowed faithfulness.
    I feel sorry for this poor girl, being most likely forced by her family into a relationship to fulfill an old mans needs. My heart goes out to her and all other girls living this kind of life and my heart goes out to you and all other women having to go through this. Shame on those dirty men inflicting so much pain on wife’s and children.
    Greetings from Switzerland.

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