Polygamy can be beautiful.
Sharing your partner takes a whole lot of humbling yourself, setting your own wishes and dreams aside. It also makes you scrutinize your relationship, and many times, having seen clearly what was lacking, it will make your marriage better.
But you must come to accept that it will only be half a marriage from then on. As long as you keep fighting that, you will be hurt. As long as you keep trying to get back the marriage you had before, you will be hurt. You must learn to look at what you have, decide if you still want it, and if you do – make the best of it.
However, I believe, I know, that there are two prerequisites that MUST be met if polygamy is to work without becoming a living hell:
First of all it must be consensual. Every notion of one person’s right to enter polygamy without the spouse’s consent, or even knowledge, is horrid, dispicable and a crime against basic human rights.
Secondly, polygamy must be equal. If you become polygamous, you must wholeheartedly grant your spouse equal rights to become polygamous in turn. Any other maxim is horrid, dispicable and a crime against basic human rights.
I know a whole lot of people out there disagree. And I understand that. I know all about the Stockholm syndrome. I also know that those who suffer from it, don’t know they do. That’s the problem.
I do admire my husband, who has been able to overcome the barrier of cultural imprinting and instead has accepted principles of equality and democratic values. It’s been a struggle, I can tell you!
This morning, when he woke up, the first thing he said was “It’s good to be home”. 🙂
I’ll let you know if he tells me anything about #2, there sure is something going on….. :s
So, I’m off to the gym. I’ve taken up pilates, and it’s doing wonders with my abs. Beach 2013 – here I come! 😀