Del‘s husband swore over and over again on the Quran that he had not married another woman. This however proved to be of no consequence since muslim men are permitted by their religion to lie to their wives, if lying is a way of keeping the peace in the home, of keeping the woman calm and submissive.
So he lied. Over and over again. On the Quran.
Of course he had married again. Second time around. The first time was the same, lies and lies and lies, and raging anger that Del wasn’t fast enough in hunkering down under the lies, submitting to his superior rights and status.
Del’s husband’s second wife lives in another country. This means that Del is left alone for long periods of time to tend to a handicapped son who demands around the clock nursing. Del does this all alone, her husband does not help or provide her with the possibility to hire anyone to give her occasional aid. In stead he flies off to fuck the second wife he denied existed while Del nurses her son, weeps and gets a couple of hours sleep every night.
Del found out about the second wife this time around when she found pics of her in her husband’s computer. When asked her husband first flatly denied being married, then altered his story and said they had been married but that he divorced her. All lies. When he realized Del no longer believed a single word he said he called in a relative to try to sell her new lies.
Now, Del was told that her husband had married again because an Imam had asked him to provide for a poor widow. Del wrote about how happy she was that her husband had become polygamous, and lied to her on the Quran, from sharia reasons. He’s such a good man, a good muslim husband! As it turned out, the woman was neither poor nor a widow. Del’s husband simply wanted someone to fuck when on business trips and Del of course had to stay at home to take care of the handicapped son. When Del told her husband how angry she was, he said he divorced her, and he flew off to his other wife. As you know, a muslim man can divorce his wife simply by saying the words, with no reason, while women can’t divorce without having very specific reasons and being granted a divorce by a sharia court.
So, how did the women of Polygamy411 react to this story?
They all told Del she must remember what a good husband he is, and how much he loves her. They also told her that a wife must always submit, always be obedient. This is the kind of answer she got:
Hang in there and always take care of your adab or manners towards yur hubby. You will be bound to say or act in an angry manner, sometimes dangerously….try to refrain. Its difficult but we are only humans. Take wudhu and be a good wife for Allah swt not for your hubby. Serve him for Allah swt and it gets easier. You are now in a different journey sis del from before this happened. Slowly you will see what Allah swt has in store for you. I make doa for you that Allah swt will provide you what is best for you. Believe me, your hubby will love you more than ever if you have patience and sabr. Its difficult to instil trust after you have lost it but give him a chance to start rebuilding back the trust that he acquired from you for so many years.
Serve him and it will get easier…. 😮
And Del being brainwashed by religion and cultural beliefs that have taught her that women are inferior and should always submit to every action, be it ever so evil, from a man answers:
ur post brought me to tears I cried so much, I thanku for that sister I really needed that, thanku for reminding me to keep my cool and not get angry with hubby I really needed a reminder, hubby comes back tomorrow and I don’t know what the out come will be I don’t know how I will feel when I see him I don’t know any thing, But u opened my mind and reminded me how a believing Muslim wife should be towards her husband. Thanku so much my love I will remember u tomorrow Inshalalh. Sabanallah for now Noor I’m not feeling the ugly pain in my chest that I did last time, I no longer feel she is a threat to me, I actually feel sorry for her when ever I look at the photos, she really does seem nice, not like when I saw photos of my ex she was such a threat to me I don’t know y she just was. Alhumdullah Allahh SWT has been too kind to me this time round he gave my husband a women that has no threat to me and I kind if feel at ease, even my kids carnt beleive how I am and are all so happy for me
Yeah, her god has definitely been kind to Del… 😮
It is so scary to see how these people regard women as inferior beings who should submit to their husbands’ abuse, and that they believe that a god, their god, would demand this. Don’t they see how they belittle god this way? :s Their hate is always directed towards women, other women, while men are to be forgiven anything, permitted anything. This is the kind of fundamentalism that is responsible for violence against women, rape, child-marriages and other abuse against women that is O so common still. These women are carriers of the beliefs that allow it to continue. These women are the Haters.
I first tried to offer some comfort to Del:
@Del My heart goes out to you – I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I just don’t understand how a man who claims to be of faith can put his hand on his holy book and swear to a lie in front of his wife and his god. I simply can’t get my mind around it. I’m so sorry you had to listen to his lies. It’s so true – the lies are what hurts the most. It’s so undignified, and it kills the respect you so badly need to feel for your spouse. That rule that allows husbands to lie to keep peace in their marriages – that rule is crap! Sorry, but I hate the lies. How can lying to your wife be seen as ok? It’s so bloody patronizing to claim that women would prefer being lied to to knowing the truth. It’s treating women as children, as too stupid and weak to know their own good.
You say he said talaq – does that mean that you are in iddah now?
Whatever happens, you must remember all the work, the trust and the love you put in your marriage and know none of this was your fault. if he doesn’t think you are worth even hearing the truth – then he’s simply not worthy of a wife like you. No offense, that’s just the way I see it.
There sure are a lot of blanks in the marriage lottery……
I hope you find ways to handle the situation, to stand up for yourself and feel good about the way you’ve handled everything. I’ll be thinking about you
And what did I get in return from Del?
she was very offencive and so was her stupid husband to allow such discusting behaviour, sorry but these kind of people deserve the same treatment as the people of our prophet (as) Lut. They deserve the earth to swollow them. Allah akbur
Del, like others of her fundamentalist, extremist sort is a Hater. When anyone thinks or does anything not allowed by their special kind of extremism, they HATE. And from their diseased hearts they pour hatred and violence.
I believe that these women hate their situation, and they hate their husbands for putting them in it. But they would never admit to that, not even to themselves, since they have been brainwashed into believing that there is a god who has made it permissible for men to abuse women and treat them as half-humans, as slaves. They have been taught that if they ever question any of it they will go to hell.
So they turn their hatred towards other women. Women who have claimed freedom and equality, women who are strong and have let men know they will not be ruled. When women like Del see this they HATE. They hate women like me for claiming human rights, for living my life free and equal. Women like me must be punished for not submitting to the same evil that is ruling Del’s life.
This is why Del is a Hater. This is what gives Del a diseased heart. This is what makes Del, and other mentally and emotionally crippled islamist extremists so dangerous.
To be continued