I think my husband was surprised. Surprised I stayed, surprised when slowly our marriage started to work again. I could be happy again. Last year, we came home from a great day out, when I told him that I love him. That I love him more now. He said he was so happy. That he never wanted to hurt me, that he loved me and had trusted in Allah to save our marriage. That the last year together had been the best ever.
I agreed. And I told him that I believed that it was because I had found new happiness with a man I met at eveningclass, and who I had been living half my life with for almost a year. The half that my husband had given up. I told him it didn’t mean I love him less. It didn’t mean I wanted to leave him. It just meant that I wanted to be happy all the time, not half the time. That I want a full life, not half a life. That I wanted to be needed.
I have never seen anyone as angry as my husband. He screamed. He threw things. He broke a cupboarddoor in the kitchen. He called me the most vile things. He cried. He asked me if I had gone from the other man’s bed to his on the same day. All kinds of nasty questions. I told him that he had given up all rights to half my life. I reminded him that he had promised to respect my beliefs, the way I had respected his. He just couldn’t stop himself. I told him I would accept a divorce, if he wanted to give me up entirely to the other man, but that he should remember that we had been happier than ever the last year. That selfishness is a sin. That he should wish for others what he wishes for himself.
When he stormed out of the door I thought he’d never come back. But he did. Step by step. And our marriage is better than ever. I can tell you, he never takes me for granted anymore! When he told me he finally understood what I had gone through, that he realised how much I must love him to have stayed with him, I knew everything was going to be fine.
So now, we are really polygamous, not polygynous