Polyandry Proves Beneficial to Mankind

1013483_354648064665525_279483948_nNow, science finally proves that polyandry is beneficial from an evolutionary point of view. Research shows that the reason why sex between two genders has remained the way humans procreate is that females must be given a choice to mate with only the best of the males. One could argue that this could equally be an argument in favour of polygyny. This is not the case. Polygyny does mean that only a selection of males can breed, since there are approximately as many women and men in the world. But it is a patriarchal system that puts the choosing in the hands of the males, which is unnatural and unfavourable, since the “wrong” males are allowed to marry. It also means that the world will be full of sexually deprived males.

Polyandry on the other hand provides all men with a wife. The wife can marry many men, but choose to have children with only one or two of her husbands – the ones that she feels will be the best fathers for her children. Thus, the most suitable males will be allowed to breed but other men will still be allowed a healthy outlet for their sexual and emotional needs.This will also mean that the risk of over population will be contained.

So, the Quran is right in restricting polygyny, while allowing unlimited polyandry.

Polygyny in the African American Community

I have read several articles on polygyny being on the rise among African Americans.

I can understand why.

There are overwhelming statistics showing that African Americans still do not have the same opportunities in society. In some states in America, an African American child is more likely to go to prison than to college. The amount of people who are living well below the poverty line is much higher among African Americans than any other ethnic group in the US. The amount of children who are left to grow up without a father too. Criminality and violence of course travel in the wake of poverty and misery. Discrimination against African Americans being what it is, there is no wonder people lose hope, feel like outsiders in society and look for ways to feel empowered. Violence and criminality are ways to feel empowered. Religion is another. Islam can be very attractive to a person who feels left out and looked down upon by society. Hence, Islam is on the rise in the US. Especially among women who are the most left out and the most discriminated against, as always.

African American women then are left in a situation where no or poor education leaves them financially vulnerable. Criminality and violence among the men means that more men from among the African American population are in prison, or killed. Women are left alone to fend for their families, without any hope of ever finding anything but minimum wage jobs. And of course, once they have embraced islam, they are not allowed to marry outside islam. The Arabic population often harbour discriminating views of the African American group, and marriages between the groups are rare. So, the women are left with the African American men who are muslims, free men and alive.

This means that these women sometimes feel they are forced to choose between being single moms, working 2 or 3 jobs to pay their way or accepting polygyny. Men of course take their chance to take advantage of the situation. A culture has developed where these men feel like kings of the hill when they have plural wives, many of them even let their wives pay their way. Poor education, a miserable view on women and society and an orgy in basking in the glory of maledom established by islam are the traits that unite these men.

It saddens me to see how some try to paint this modern kind of slavery in the colours of ethics and, worse, love.

 

A Husband’s Role in Islamic Marriage

Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made one of them to excel the other and because they must provide for them from their means; the good women are therefore obedient to Allah, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.

We have all heard these words. We all know how male scholars have interpreted them to mean that men in islam are the guardians of women, leaders of the family, and women must obey their husbands because their husband excel them in strength and reason. But look again. Is that what it says. Islamic scholars are amazing in their ability to interpret the Quran to their liking. But why not simply read what it says? First of all, it says men are to work, and maintain women. And it says they must do this because “one of them excels the other”. But who excels?

“…and beat them”

Well, most of us know that intellectual work is considered a degree above manual labour. In the surah Allah clearly says that menial work, manual labour, is meant for men and men must work to maintain women. The obvious interpretation here then is that men are commanded to do manual labour to maintain women, since women excel in every other aspect than raw muscle. So Allah is demanding that men do the manual labour because women are meant for better things. Men are the worker bees to the women’s queen bee. So: Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made women to excel men, and hence men must serve and maintain them, just like slaves did the work for Pharaoh. And this is why men have to spend out of their pocket – their labour belongs to their mistresses/owners. This also means that we must read the rest of the surah differently. It says good women are therefore devoutly obedient to Allah. Women must be obedient by keeping men as their labourers. And the rest of the surah is written in a way in Arabic that makes it impossible to understand if it addresses men or women so men have naturally read it to say that it means men can punish women. BUT it could just as correctly be read the other way around! So this is what An Nisa 4:34 really says:

Men are the maintainers (labourers belonging to) (of) women because Allah has made some of them (women) to excel others (men) and because they must provide for them from their means (give up their salary to them, i.e. men are as slaves to women); the good women are therefore obedient to Allah, guarding the unseen (things men don’t understand) as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those (husbands and other men) on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.

Polygamy – My Husband’s Wedding Night

S%C3%A9pulcre_Arc-en-Barrois_111008_12The most difficult night was not my husband’s wedding night.
The most difficult night was the night before.
When he was with me, but he was marrying another woman the next day.
When he made love to me saying I should never forget how much he loves me, but he was going to make love to another woman the next day, opening his heart for her to enter.
When he was sleeping beside me and I was watching his face thinking that tomorrow night another woman will be lying beside him with his semen inside her and new love for him awakening in her heart when she watches his face while he sleeps.

That was the really bad night.

On his wedding night, at least I could scream my pain.

(By: Jemima on Polygamy911)

Q&A Can’t You See That Polyandry Can Make Victims Out of Men?

Red_Spider_Icon_Larger_by_RedSpider2008Hello Fiona

I have read just about every post on this blog – it’s addictive!

I am an American male, I grew up in the bible-belt and had really hard-core old fashioned parents. I was told the word of God can never be questioned and I was taught to obey the hard way. The church we belonged to was really more of a cult, but it took me some time to realize. Breaking up from that world meant I had to leave everything, my family, friends everything. I decided to leave for good and came to the UK. I got a job doing constructions at Lampeter, settled down, built a new life for myself. After a couple of years I met a woman. She was wonderwoman to me, everything I had ever wished for. She was strong, beautiful, smart, funny, she soon became everything for me.

She belonged to a religious order, a kind of Druid order. Most of it is about meditation, I’ve come to love this beautiful religion of peace and harmony. It’s so right in every way, it’s about self respect and respecting others and this wonderful world of ours. So I joined too, in 2011, the same year we married.

Since then, she’s become a priestess. Among other things, this means she has a responsibility to be polyandrous. Through her, her husbands can reunite with the earth godess. I understand this, and I can see the beauty of it. But she’s my wife, and the thought of sharing her is killing me.

She is being very considerate. She says she’ll wait til I say I’m ready. And she isn’t pushing it. But I know she’s waiting because of me, and I’m keeping her from fulfilling her duty and I’m keeping some man, or men, from uniting with her.

I just don’t know how to make myself tell her to go ahead, marry another man. I don’t know how to do it.

You write a lot about islamic polygyny turning women into victims. Well polyandry can make victims out of men. Did you ever thin about that?

And what am I to do? Can you please give me some advice?

AWESOME LYING PRIVILEGES AWARDED TO MEN IN ISLAM!!! What’s a female infidel to do?

norfolkfiona:

The religion that respects women.

Originally posted on USAKSAConnect:

AWESOME LYING PRIVILEGES AWARDED TO MEN IN ISLAM

What’s a female infidel to do?  

ANSWER: DO NOT MARRY A SAUDI!!! THERE CAN NEVER BE TRUST BECAUSE LYING TO THEIR WIFE(s) IS APPROVED PER THEIR RELIGION. 

Islamic Cleric Sheik Mahmoud Al-Masri:Screen Shot 2015-04-05 at 5.58.02 PM

This respected Cleric says: “three types of lies are permitted. That’s why the Prophet Muhammad said: “You are allowed to lie to your wife, but only about matters of the heart. He is not allowed to lie to her about money, or about his comings and goings, and so on.’

According to the Cleric, in Islam, it is totally acceptable to lie and betray your life partner and soulmate “about matters of the heart.” The Shiekh suggests that conversations should go something along these lines (actual text from his site is used)…

Your wife asks, “Do you love me?”

The husband responds, “I’m crazy about you, my life, you are a…

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Two Wrongs Don’t Make One Right in Polygamy

S%C3%A9pulcre_Arc-en-Barrois_111008_12According to the main body of muslim scholars, muslim men have a right to marry up to four wives.

Most of these scholars also agree that men don’t need the consent of a prior wife to marry another, nor are they required to inform their wife that they have married another, even if it might be considered good manners to do so. Isn’t this wonderful? That his could be regarded as ethical is completely beyond me, but this is the religion of rights my friend where we all should want for our sisters and brothers what we want for ourselves – wives excluded of course.

Some people try to argue that marrying another wife without informing the woman you’re already married to isn’t really honest, or just. But muslim scholars simply say that it must be regarded as just and honest since it is allowed in islam – because anything allowed by islam is inherently just and honest. Voila! Some people even dare argue that marrying another woman behind your wife’s back might actually be a violation of wanting for your sister what you want for yourself. But if this is what you claim you’re wrong. You see, wanting for your sister what you want for yourself only applies to women having to accept that other women want to be fucked and maintained by their husbands. It does not apply to men and any idea that men should want the same kind of honesty, fidelity and respect for their wives as they want for themselves. Noooope. Because you see, this is islam. Rights are for men, sacrifice is for women.

But then again, women have a right to keep their own money, don’t they? Men have to support their families with what they earn, women can keep every penny they own. After all, this is given as the reason why sons inherit twice as much as daughters. And women are told they must obey their husbands in everything and fuck him whenever he gives the order because men are the maintainers and protectors of women because they excel over women and because they spend on them. So women should be allowed to keep what little money they have, don’t you think?

Well, think again. Suddenly, muslim scholars say that well yeah, men are supposed to maintain their families. But women are supposed to want for their brothers what they want for themselves. So she should not be niggardly, but share her wealth. And if her husband uses her money to marry another woman and maintain her using the money of his first wife – well she should remember to want for her sister what she wants for herself.

If a woman stands on her rights in islam, she is niggardly, mean and unwilling to love for her husband and his other wives what she loves for herself.

If a man stands on his rights to marry other women without informing his first wife or asking for her consent – he’s a real man who takes care of the ummah. Even “moderate” muslims agree polygamy is a man’s right, so he is not accused of being greedy if he marries woman after woman to have as much sex as he wants, he is not accused of being greedy if he uses his first wife’s money to keep his second wife, he is not accused of being insensitive and mean if he causes his first wife lifelong misery and pain by giving half his life away to somebody else. But a woman who stands on her right to keep her own money – oh, she is mean, niggardly, cruel, insensitive and simply a bad muslim.

A man is right and has rights, a woman is wrong and has no rights. In islamic polygyny, there are only wrongs, and for women – not a single right.

Polygamy – What are we Sharing?

ThreeringsI have two husbands.

I love them both dearly. Not in the exact same way, but equally.

I try to be fair in all my dealings with my husbands. I try to keep my marriages separate. I don’t want to flaunt my life with one husband in front of the other. I don’t want one husband to fear an invasion of his integrity by knowing I might share our secrets or intimate bonds with the other. I want both my husbands to feel safe in my love and friendship.

True, polygamy sets boundaries to our lives together. I must be very careful so as not to hurt their feelings by comparing, being unfair or taking from one to give to the other. I must be very careful so as not to accidentally divulge details from one marriage to the other. So, I keep secrets. I cut some discussions short. I know my husbands find this painful, because they both know that when they run into the wall of silence, my love for the other husband is on the other side.

I love making love to my husbands. I love the strong bond that develops from making love, the moments of total seclusion and extreme intimacy. I also know that both my husbands suffer because even in our most intimate moments the image of me with my other husband might invade their minds, their hearts. I can’t help that. It’s just the truth of polygamy.

I love sharing moments of joy with our daughter with both my husbands. They have managed to find a way to share their love for her, and I love them for it. She calls her father papi, and my other husband athair, as she has heard her second cousins do. It’s all good. If you could see my daughter and the way she loves her two fathers  you would understand why islam allows polyandry!

We share our lives, our love, our pain. If you listen to male polygamists they often claim that what you share is not a husband’s love, but his time. This is not true. You can not share a spouse and say it’s only about sharing time. No, that’s a blatant lie!

In polygamy we share love, lives, body-fluids, mistakes – all of it.

We can not however share secrets or dreams. That’s the brutal truth.

I’m still happy I found two loves.

I didn’t choose polygamy. Now, I can’t see myself living any other way.

People, Polygamy, and Prayer

400px-Young_Saudi_Arabian_woman_in_AbhaA woman I used to work with is muslim. She is a great person, smart strong and funny, I always enjoyed working with her and we’ve kept in touch.

She reads my blog. Sometimes she has sent me private messages, commenting on posts. She has given me lots of support, but chided me at time too. That’s fine, we’re friends and some of the times she’s right. She has told me several times I should come with her to the masjid, listen to the service try to understand and see for myself the beauty of islam.

Finally I said yes. Yesterday I went with her to the masjid. Dressed in a headscarf and a black coat, I tagged along, trying to keep my mind open.

There was a long line of people entering the masjid. Or no, my mistake – a long line of men. They were queueing up to enter the beautiful main hall of the mosque. My friend and I went aroung the corner to a back door where a throng of women were trying to get in through a very narrow doorway. Many wore niqab, a cluster of unidentifiable people. When we finally got in, a narrow flight of stairs led to the first floor. A small room without any kind of beautification was full of women sitting everywhere, most of them on the floor or on folding chairs. My friend took me up front and showed me that through a kind of roster I could see a couple of people below – the imams. We went to the back of the room and sat down. And so the service began. We could herar through loudspeakers what went on downstairs. Still, it was kind of difficult to hear since many women had brought little children who found it very difficult to keep from playing and talking. Some of the women mumbled quietly to themselves, others sometimes clapped their hands. I could hear the man downstairs talking, sometimes in Arabic, sometimes in English. It was on the importance of zakat. When the service was over, the men downstairs crowded around the imam, to discuss religion said my friend. Of course, the women were not allowed downstairs for this. Some of the women handed out bread and candy. A small group of women were sitting around a young woman who was crying. My Arabic is good enough for me to be able to understand that she was sad because her husband doesn’t allow her out of the house except for the occasional visit to the masjid. Another group of women that I had noticed before because they had changed places mid service were talking angrily amongst themselves. My friend explained that the women were angry because a new wife had chosen to come to this masjid, the masjid of the divorced wife who had not wanted a divorce. They were saying she came only to flaunt herself before the first wife.

My friend was very silent. Afterwards, we went for a coffee. We sat silently, drinking bloody expensive Starbuck lattes. Suddenly she looked me in the eyes and I could see she had tears in hers. “Look” she said “I have never before seen my masjid through somebody else’s eyes. I did today because you were with me. And it hurt. I could see us huddling upstairs in that ugly little room, shut out from taking part, shut out from being a part of it. Just a sorry group of malcontent women. I’m sorry I brought you.”

“If that is what you finally were able to see” I answered “I’m very glad you brought me. That’s exactly what I saw too”.

Oxford Union: “Feminism has been hijacked by white middle-class women”

norfolkfiona:

Interesting.
I argue that likewise, feminism has been hijacked by middle class muslims. If my white privileges make me unable to understand the struggle, and show solidarity with the struggle, of muslim women of colour, the same is true in the opposite direction. If white feminists look down on muslim women who try to become equal within their own cultural setting and belief frame, the same is true of muslim women who claim that their struggle for equality within the belief frame is of higher value, as here. Every woman who claims that gender segregation is her right, not a means of oppression, fights for a world where women are considered as OTHERS, a world where my right to walk side by side with men, pray side by side with men is trampled. Every woman who claims her RIGHT to be secluded in her husband’s home and says this is equality, is hijacking the concept and arming patriarchal men who want to say I am an unnatural woman for wanting to work. Every woman who claims the veil is her right and a means to be equal, is giving weapons to men who claim that women are the OTHERS and must assume responsibility towards the sexuality and morals of men and must behave and dress differently because she is the OTHER. Every woman who claims that a difference in biology should also mean a difference in society is claiming that racism and apartheid is intrinsically right. So the sisters in the global south who are claiming women’s OTHERNESS is a right are contributing to the on going subjugation of all women. In this article, white women are called to respect the cultural frame works of the global south. We are asked to respect people and not come and project. So why not call for muslim middle class women to respect our cultural frame work and not come and project? There are plenty of well educated, middle class muslimahs who are not individually oppressed, but have a choice. Why should not they, when they come to my space, show solidarity with my struggle within my cultural sphere but in stead scorn the struggle for equality that I have to endure? No – to all muslimahs in the West: If you come to my space, respect me, do not come and project!

Originally posted on myriamfrancoiscerrah:

This is the transcript of a speech given by Myriam Francois-Cerrah in an Oxford Union debate on 12 Feburary. She was speaking in favour of the successful motion “This House believes that feminism has been hijacked by white middle class women”, alongside Ava Vidal and  Linda Bellos OBE. In opposition: Inna Schevchenko from FEMEN, Michael Kaufman and Natalie Bennett (Green Party).

Ladies and Gentleman, it is a pleasure to be here with you this evening.

I know, I know – the apparent irony of my being a white middle class woman who believes feminism has been hijacked by white middle class women will, I’m certain, not be lost on you.

But – it is in many ways a vindication of my case.

After all, I am a minority within my own community – unrepresentative of Muslim women either here or in the global south, in terms of my either socio-economic profile…

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